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Archive for the 'Toilet Humor' Category

Over the past few months, my 2 year old has decided to start using the potty. His primary motivation? Elmo’s Potty Time, a maddeningly repetitive online game that he can play for hours nonstop.

Too bad I don’t speak Japanese though, as I think he’d have fun with this toilet training book:

Hitori de Unchi cover

The idea of “Hitori de Unchi” (approximately meaning “I poop by myself”) is to show different creatures successfully using the toilet. For example, who better than a cat to teach proper bathroom etiquette?

Cat Pooping Unchi

Cat Pooping Unchi 2

Talking poop isn’t reserved for the cat either, the poop always gives the pooper some props afterwards:

Baby Girl Pooping Unchi

I love the muscle-flex, nice touch. The full name of the book is “Hitori de Unchi dekirukana zero ichi nisai no hon akachiyan no asobi ehon bo do butsuku” – does anyone know what this means?

Book Link [YesAsia], pics and translation via Knitting While Intoxicated

In Japan, everything can be accessorized. Kind of like the U.S. in the Eighties, just with fewer commodore 64’s and cuter cartoons.

This year’s must have accessory? This little piece of golden poop:

Poop Charm for Cell Phone

OK, OK, I don’t know if it’s exactly the “must have” accessory of the year, but the manufacturer has already sold over 2 Million of these poop charms, each for the sole intent of attaching to your cell phone.

Golden Poop

For only a few dollars, you can purchase your own at Rakuten. It even looks like they come in nice little displays:

Japanese Poo Charm display

Unless you’re Japanese, I’m not sure how you would go about the purchase, but I’ve done my duty. As the old saying goes: “I can only lead you to the poop, the rest is up to you.”

And for that guy in your life who might want a sportier poop charm, try the poop catcher’s mitt:

Poop Charm catcher’s mitt

Now that’s what I call manly!

via Gizmodo

Bathtub Racers

After the wild success of their toilet bowl racer, Evento has decided to branch out into bathtub racers:

Bathtub racers

Based on the following video, it looks like these bathtub racers would be a hoot:

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

I’d love to try this, but I wonder … what’s next? Bathroom sink racers? Outhouse racers?

Link via Random Good Stuff

In recognition of the ever widening American posterior, Florida officials are planning for the inevitable future by building the world’s largest toilet:

World’s Largest Toilet

I interviewed the manager of the Goldan Corral buffet across the street, who could barely subdue his excitement:

“From adding tableside troughs to widening our toilet stalls every two years, the Golden Corral does everything possible to serve the needs of our herd … er, I mean, guests.

But now with the opening of the world’s largest toilet across the parking lot, we can spend more time focusing on developing new entrees, such as twice fried frosted butter sticks, and less on extracting our patrons who often get stuck in our bathrooms.”

Don’t believe it’s real? Check out Google Maps.

via The Register

Remember hand and armpit farting when you were a kid? I could only muster a couple notes in the pool with my hands, and a nice slurpy disco beat with my pits. Nothing like Gerry Phillips, a seasoned hand farter who’s been perfecting his technique for over 37 years. This guy is amazing:

(if you can’t see the video, click hereThanks Hammer!)

Wow, I just caught myself singing along to a guy farting with his hands. This next video really highlights his talent – Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring, at about four times actual tempo:

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

Incredible. If J. S. Bach was still alive, I think he might actually be proud of that performance. I wonder if Gerry plays along with his hands at church?

Moving to armpits, it turns out that quality armpit farters are in short supply. This ridiculous Afghani appears to be the best around:

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

There must be better armpit farters, right? If not, I’m going to start practicing … I’ve always wanted to be the best in the world at something.

It takes a lot of concentration and self-control to pull this off. Or in.

Soccer Ball Butt

According to eyewitnesses, the ball hovered for a full five seconds while the cameraman adjusted the focus and f-stops and thingies, and everyone else looked for a match.

Once the photograph was taken, Midfielder Lannie Foosers just blew it off.

Photo from Thrilling Wonder

If you love sending one-of-a-kind postcards to your loved ones while on vacation, Panda Poop Postcards may be for you:

Panda Poop Postcards for Sale

Researchers in China were looking for an environmentally friendly way to eliminate the two tons of panda poop created every day by some panda breeding centers, and came to the natural conclusion of using the poop to make souvenir postcards. Why didn’t I think of that?

The invention wasn’t entirely their own – Thai zoos already use elephant dung to make paper products, although the Chinese researchers are confident that panda poop will make higher quality paper, and even smell like sweet bamboo. Mmmm …


Infrared Flatulence

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

Good thing we don’t have vision in that spectrum … no one could ever blame the dog.

Even ladder climbing, globe trotting, time strapped corporate executives need to stop and take a break when Mother Nature calls, right?

Not anymore. With the Gotta Go Briefcase, executives with an eye for the top don’t need to waste time tending to their bottoms:

Gotta Go Briefcase

As you can probably tell, discretion was the key objective when Niban Too Corporation of Japan invented the Gotta Go Potty. They waterproofed the containment area, double-sealed the lid, added a fold out leather privacy guard, and even included a cup holder (a diversion tactic the Japanese learned from General Motors … “Oooooh, a cup holder!”).

According to American Inventor Spot, top Japanese business execs actually see a need for this type of briefcase. Given that exceeding the maximum weight of 175 lbs may result in “rupture of waste tank” or “possible bacterial contamination of briefcase contents”, I have a feeling this won’t show up in too many American boardrooms though.

For those of you short on cash or over the weight limit for the Gotta Go Potty, I’ve developed this equally discrete method for taking care of business during an important meeting:

  1. Excuse yourself and walk to the nearest corner
  2. Pull down your pants
  3. Cover your face
  4. Yell “Na na nana na, you can’t see me” while planting your fresh potatoes

Works for my 2 year old. Thanks for the tip Michelle!

Exposed Outdoors

Men, what do you think … would you take care of business in one of these?

Chinese Outdoor Public Urinal

China appears to be the first country to install outdoor public urinals that are actually intended for daytime usage. At least they were polite enough to provide some coverage for those men who still utilize the pants-at-the-knees technique.

Not known for their shyness, the Dutch have installed wide open 4-man urinals that are dropped off around Amsterdam’s busy clubs and pubs in the late afternoon, then carted away in the morning:

Amsterdam Outdoor Urinal

They even conceived of a quick, yet somewhat private, outdoor toilet for women:

Amsterdam Outdoor Urinal for Women

Private? Slightly. Embarrassing? Infinitely. The lack of a seat base would be my first hint that something isn’t quite right about this toilet, and it gets worse.

According to the anonymous reader who sent me these pictures from Amsterdam, the idea is to pee in a tube that is emptied directly into the canal, and then any other business is performed on the ground. As you may have noticed, the city was nice enough to leave a pooper scooper for you to clean up after yourself. How horrifying!

Finally, for men who long to get back to their woodland roots, yet spend their days in the concrete jungle of the city, Joa Herrenknecht has created the pee tree:

The Pee Tree - Urinal Shaped like a Tree

Men’s bathrooms could presumably be converted into porcelain forests, with the chirping of recorded birds complementing the relaxing sound of water flowing down each tree trunk. OK, but do men really want to worry about who is going to peek over or around the tree? Aren’t urinals already too close for comfort?

Chinese urinal pic via Oddly Enough, Pee-tree via the PeePee project.

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