You know, I always thought that, working in stores like I have and do, people were far too good at being annoying. Like, it was almost too fantastically horrible. I suspected they rehearsed it, or that there was some kind of hand-book. Or instructional videotape. Or list of ideas for annoying people with annoyer’s block.
Hightlights:
177. Tell people their fly is down when they’re wearing sweat pants.
178. Stand on a busy corner. Gasp, look and point up. See how many people look.
179. At random times in a conversation, say “Hi,” “Hello Sir, how are you?” or “Have a good day, thank you.”
180. Put electrical tape over the headlights of someone’s car.
Now you know! You’ve got the secret in your hands! You can bust the schemes of the annoying right open! The very second you see someone about to do something annoying you can save them the trouble: “Hey, pal. I’ve seen this before. Move along and get some new material.”
…if only life were like that. But hey. Let’s make our own list. I’ll kick it off with number 1:
1) Go to class with a cold. Sniff loudly and frequently, despite a full pack of tissues in front of you.
I write this post in the sincere hope that I am not the only one here in love with the old 1960’s Adam West Batman series/movie. For today, I have found myself giggling like an idiot at this beautiful collection of Batman-lecturing-Robin quotes; it’s great enough that I forgive it for being on an old tripod website (jeez, talk about ‘remember when…’).
Holy Painted Eyebrows, Batman!
Some highlights:
Robin: “Gosh, Batman, this camel grass juice is great.”
Batman: “Beware of strong stimulants, Robin.”
Robin: “To the batcave?”
Batman: “And up the batpoles.”
Robin: “The batpoles?”
Batman: “Even crimefighters need their sleep, Robin.”
Batman: “Human mechanisms are made by human hands, Robin. None of them is infallible. It is a lesson that must be faced.” Too true, too true.
Robin: “Self-control is sure tough sometimes, Batman!”
Batman: “All virtues are, old chum. Indeed, that’s why they’re virtues.”
Batman: “Robin, the Constitution provides that a man is innocent until proven guilty. And the Constitution is the cornerstone of our great nation. We must abide by it.”
Robin: “Gosh, when you put it that way…”
Ladies, have you ever been invited to a party and not known what to wear? Or gone to work but not wanted to take extra clothes and shoes for after work activities? Well, now you don’t need to worry, these shoes will ensure you’re always prepared:
High Tide Heels obviously represent the future of fun and fashion. I’m told this picture was taken in Belgium, but I think these shoes will certainly make a huge global splash in coming months.
I was inspired by Anita’s clever graffiti finds, so after some searching have rustled up enough for a second entry. Not saying I support graffiti, but I am saying, this stuff is so much fun.
Obvious, but enjoyable nonetheless.
Dun dun DUUUNNN
I wish this were near where I live.
Hah.
Just remember: don’t do graffiti. It’s against the law even when it is hilarious.
I don’t know if this is real or not, but I’ve been told that in Korean baseball games you can fight as much as you want, without punishment, as long as you do this:
A lot of people smell like crayons, thanks to this innovative company. And for a lot of people, it’s an improvement (I’d buy one that smells like fresh PlayDoh).
Car lovers of America watch out – soon you’ll have to share your roads with high performance Cart Bikes like this:
Most people contend that Americans don’t ride bikes because we’re fat, lazy, and have millions of miles of roads with no shoulder or bike paths. Sure, these might be minor considerations, but the truth is that we face a historical deficiency in bicycle styling. The Cart Bike is the obvious solution.
Now if you could just add a Port-A-Potty to the back that converted human waste to energy, you’d have the perfect eco-friendly bike. Want to make your own Cart Bike? Check out Instructables for the step-by-step.
Unless that special woman in your life is a huge fan of crazy vintage records, I suggest you not buy here this for Christmas (or any other occasion):
In fact, I’d suggest you not buy her anything that appears antique or has a picture of a woman (other than her) on it. Add to that: don’t buy her anything from a magazine, anything that she can wear, jewelry, soap, or makeup … unless she specifically asked for it. Even if she did ask for it, augment your gift with some flowers, because unless she put it on layaway chances are you’ll mess up.
I commute 100 miles roundtrip each day, so my friends always ask why I don’t buy a hybrid. In the past, I’ve always responded with “I already get 45 mpg, why spend $20K for the same fuel economy”.
From today forward though, my response will be: “because I’m waiting for the next generation of hybrid”, then I’ll show them this:
The 1 HP Fleethorse NaturCar is a new super-efficient hybrid that may soon be on the market, and it’s powered by carrots, grass clippings, and other edible waste products. It’s kind of like a Mr. Fusion, just bigger and smellier.
No surprise, the NaturCar was designed by a group in Dubai, and comes with all the bells and whistles imaginable in a horse on wheels. To power the car, the horse walks on a treadmill which charges the car’s batteries (the treadmill doubles as the “exhaust” system, which is stored under the vehicle).
For some reason, I wouldn’t be surprised if these became big sellers in Japan.
So. I found this old video and…I just…wow. I haven’t seen this thing in over five years. It’s still there.
And it still makes me laugh. The story behind it is, someone wrote to the video makers and asked for a video featuring Zoki (website owner) making awkward smalltalk with a giant telepathic banana. Yeah. Enough said.
I think the part I like best is still when Kusper stumbles over the word “banana” right in the beginning…”Mr. Ban…ana!”
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