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Our Crack team of photographers was able to capture this picture, a split second before Chewbacca headbutted a tour guide dressed as a pirate outside Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in L.A.:

Chewbacca attacks

‘Chewie’ was reported as saying “Nobody tells this Wookiee what to do,” right before slamming his head into the guide’s forehead. While Superman was present, he didn’t step in to end the scuffle, probably because Elmo and Mr. Incredible had lost their priveleges in similar fights earlier (so far, all 100% real … via Reuters).

Chewie’s arrest marked the end of a long downward spiral from his famed role in Star Wars. Chewbacca’s first attempt at salvaging his career wasn’t so bad … his height and strength made him an unbeatable pitcher for the Boston Red Sox:
Chewbacca Pitches for Red Sox
(thanks Loren)

Chewbacca’s baseball career ended abruptly when he started eating baseballs and shooting at costumed stormtroopers with his laser. Given his celebrity status, the police felt that prison would be too dangerous for the wookie, so placed him in a zoo instead.

All was well until Chewie mistook a young kangaroo for a cute female Wookie:
Kangaroo after wookie attack
(picture by Dan via Little Lamb)

The police couldn’t excuse him for breaking the poor kangaroo’s leg (even if accidentally), so Chewbacca went underground:
Chewbacca in Disguise
(thanks Karin)

Celebrities … they can never stay out of the limelight for long, even if it means ditching a disguise to do a little headbutting. 😉

I’ve just learned of an epidemic that has been quietly spreading across the globe, plaguing our cities, and placing our children in peril. Yes, you guessed correctly … bicycles being ridden without front tires.

The problem has gotten so bad that signs have been posted to warn unsuspecting riders. Here’s one in Portland, Oregon:

Bicycle Warning
(thanks Patrick!)

After countless accidents, parents are mounting a class action lawsuit against bicycle manufacturers. One plaintiff exclaimed:

There wasn’t no warnings or nothing, we thought it just a spare. Billy was so excited to ride his new bike, but then he fell in a bush and all the kids laughed and called us names. How were we supposed to know it needed two tires to work right?

We called Wal-mart, and the lady just said “that’s why it’s called a BI-cycle and not a UNI-cycle”. So what does that mean? Do I now need to know greek or something to know which bike to buy for my kid?

Recognizing that a massive lawsuit could be brewing, bicycle manufacturers have quickly responded by placing the following warning on all bikes:
Warning - do not operate a bicycle with one wheel

My First Original Comic

Update: After reading e-mail and comment feedback, I’ve decided to retire my drawing smock – consider yourself spared 😉

For some reason, today I became fixated on trying to draw a funny comic. Given my artistic abilities (up until now, The SpongeBob in this post was among my best drawings ever), I should have known better.

After 5 hours of throwing away good ideas I simply could not draw, I finally settled on this one:

Fight Fire with Fire cartoon

Even this took me 8 or 9 attempts … whew, I gotta get some sleep!

So what do you think?

Technology and internet problems seem to follow me everywhere, even when I’m not connected to the internet! For example: while on my honeymoon, I was reading a good book one day when all of a sudden I turned the page to find this alarming message:

Aruba 404 error while reading romance novel

Don’t you hate it when that happens? Luckily I had a camera nearby. If you can’t read the text on page 404, let me know and I’ll add it here or in a comment. And yes, this is an actual picture from my honeymoon in Aruba (OK, most of it is real), the picture was looking out our hotel room window. :)

Tickle Me

Do you think you’re funny … or do you have a good joke that you’d like to try out? If so, now you can get an unbiased opinion from the unlikeliest of places – Google. That’s right, apparently Google has a sense of humor, and is anxiously waiting to critique your jokes.

Skeptical? Me too, until I just asked Google to “tickle me”. And guess what? Google laughed! Actually, only 86% of Google laughed, but that’s still a lot of Googleliciousness for just two words.

Want to give it a shot? Go to Make Google Laugh. If you create good ones, I’d definitely love to know.

Time for a few more jokes. Let’s see what Google thinks:

First: A REALLY BAD joke that I just made up

What is the difference between the Easter Bunny and a well rested blogger?
Some people still believe the Easter Bunny exists.

The verdict? No laughter, Google only found it 3.5246% funny. I was hoping for at least 3.53%, but I think I’ll live.

Second: A nonsense kids joke that I just made up

Oink Oink.
Moo there?
Poo.
Poo hoo?
Poo poo!

Google’s verdict? Google laughs!!! Almost 65% funny. Now if only Google could tell me what my cow and pig knock-knock joke actually meant, I’d be impressed!

Third: A silly kid’s knock knock joke from a friend’s 6 year old

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Chicken
Chick…
CHICKEN!!!

(note: if you plan to deliver this joke, say CHICKEN well before the person can finish saying “chicken who”)

The verdict? Google laughs!!! 100% FUNNY! No applause needed, my comedy tour starts next week.

How did you do? Did you make Google laugh? If so (or if you just want to share your jokes), leave me a comment. I had a lot of fun with this, and hope you did too! 😉

(found via Google Blogoscoped)

Have you ever noticed that Paris Hilton looks a lot like Smurfette?

Smurfette vs. Paris Hilton

The similarities don’t end at appearances either:

Smurfette: Premiered in 1981 on NBC
Paris Hilton: Born 17 February 1981

Smurfette: Was magically created out of clay by Gargamel to cause jealousy and competition between smurfs
Paris Hilton: Has a clay personality, thinks everyone is jealous, and wants famous men fighting over her

Smurfette: Considered to be the worst singer in all of Smurfdom
Paris Hilton: Did you ever listen to her album, Paris?

Smurfette: Wears tiny white dresses that barely cover her smurfly parts
Paris Hilton: Wears tiny white dresses, and often shows her, uh, smurfly parts

Smurfette: Always causing trouble, including flooding of the smurf village
Paris Hilton: Do we need to go into details?

Smurfette: Underwent extensive plastic smurfery to become a blond bombshell
Paris Hilton: Underwent extensive plastic surgery to transform her from smurfly-looking to tabloid-worthy

Smurfette: Has large smurf feet
Paris Hilton: Is embarassed that plastic surgery couldn’t shrink her large feet

Smurfette: Lives under a mushroom in a strange fantasy world
Paris Hilton: Lives a strange fantasy life, and (based on her smarts) presumably grew up under a mushroom

Coincidence? I think not. 😉

Yes, the headline is correct, a miniature toy dinosaur modeled after Dino from The Flintstones has destroyed an entire volcano in New Zealand. While this may seem hard to believe, our Crack team of journalists have scoured the world for exclusive pictures, and now have the straight poop.

As many of you may have read back in 2004, a prankster placed a toy Dino in front of the webcam at the White Island Crater in New Zealand. This story garnered huge media attention (you can see one of the stories here) and, as one would expect, brought immense fame and fortune to NZ Geologists.

Here is the original picture that started the buzz:

Dino at Crater 2004

While the geologists originally intended to parlay their good luck into the creation of a Kiwi version of The Wiggles, their plans were quickly thwarted when studies showed that the acidic atmosphere would dissolve Dino within 3 months. “Mate, we were devestated” said Olde Jack MacDonald, “but this whole bit is now a little dodgy, and I’m all buggered out b’fore I even’ve sculled my second pint.”

But as time went on, it became obvious that this wasn’t a normal dinosaur. While the acid dissolved cameras, tourists’ clothing (sorry, we can’t show those pics), and even the volcano rim itself, Dino remained:

Dino before the rampage

The world (OK, just the geologists and their internet girlfriends from Russia) soon became obsessed with finding Dino’s source of longevity. Some even reported seeing Dino stalking the crater at night. “Just look’at hiz eyes, he’s gone mad!” said one geologist, “I’m getting out of here for good, and I’m not gonna rest til’ I’m home ‘n hosed”.

On October 31st at 7:00pm, the webcam went dead (its publicly available final images are here). At least, that’s what they want us to believe. It turns out that the camera snapped one more picture the next day, right before Geonet took it offline, and a quick fingered member of our Crack team happened to download the photo:

Dino destroys volcano

Nobody knows if Dino used explosives or an unseen fire breathing talent, but sources tell us that only a large mountain of ash was left by that evening.

Luckily, Dino went back to his normal cute self after enacting vengeance upon the volcano, and was given away as a chew toy to a blind dog at the NZSPCA. The volcano and cameras are still under repair by the folks at Disney, and will re-open once the Magic Mountain tracks can be adequately concealed from the webcam.

So as not to face public ridicule and embarassment, Geonet has created this obviously fake story to explain the disappearance of the webcam. Come on guys, do you expect us to believe that a rubber dinosaur can withstand acid better than a special camera housing inside an old factory? You would have thought they could have come up with a better story than that.

I always get frustrated searching for specific pictures via Google Images or Flickr. I know what I want to use, but it takes forever to find it. For this reason, I was elated to find retrievr.

Retrievr lets you draw a picture (or even upload one), then uses your drawing to search Flickr for similar pictures. Here was one of my attempts to draw my favorite cartoon character, SpongeBob:

SpongeBob Drawing

Before you ask: yes, I’d be happy to create custom artwork for you, but the immense demand for my artistry forces me to charge very high rates (also, my 2 year old son says I can’t sell this SpongeBob picture, sorry). OK, so I was pretty excited to see the results, but here’s what came up:

SpongeBob Results

Maybe the picture in the middle was SpongeBob, and was removed from Flickr for copyright reasons? The pin cushion looks a little like SpongeBob though … perhaps an uploaded picture will work better. What better test than to upload a photo originally from Flickr? Here’s a flickr photo that I showed a couple days ago in our Funny Signs post:

Telescope injury

And here is what Retrievr found:

Telescope results

Hmmm … so Retrievr thinks there’s a 2 in 9 shot that the picture is a sign … not too accurate. It appears to rely heavily on shape outline and color. Even if it doesn’t work real well, it’s a lot of fun to try. Personally, I was more impressed by the recognition capabilities of MyHeritage when we did our fun Celebrity face recognition test.

Special thanks to LadyBanana for giving me the idea to find a better way to search Flickr.

Here’s a screenprint of the eBay listing:

Lindsay Lohan sell her appendix on ebay

Lohan was quoted as saying: “This whole operation thing has been, like um, really hard for me. I’m hoping that this doesn’t end my singing career, I mean, like, come on … how’s a girl supposed to sing without her applesautix? The money from this auction will be used for a real super cause, and if the winner is cute, he may even get an invite to the, uh, kickin party, ummm … I mean super cause.”

I wanted to have a little fun with our year in review, so over the past week Ben and I have been gathering news, videos, and expert opinions on the Most Embarrassing Moments of 2006.

I also want to hear your thoughts, so I removed our top choices on 5 of the 10 categories. Comment on your nominations for Most Embarrassing in these categories and I’ll post the best comments with a link to the site of your choice (if you have one).

Most embarrassing newscast: Channel 6 weather guy
Initially, this was a tough decision. With thousands of newscasters to choose from, our candidates for the most embarrassing numbered in the dozens. Most had incredibly unfortunate/funny Freudian slips (although there were some fights and name calling mixed in), but once we saw this clip, the winner became obvious:

(if you can’t see the video click here)

Most embarrassing celebrity: Britney Spears and crew
2006 must have been a banner year for the tabloids. Mel Gibson, Michael Richards, Madonna’s baby heist, Tomkat, Brangelina, KFed … the list of embarrassing celebrity moments in 2006 goes on and on. However, the most embarrassing had to be Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan’s escapades on their infamous night out. While Lindsay and Paris stumbled around trying to steal the show, Britney had to one-up them both to get the paparazzi’s attention:
Britney goes commando
Anyone get the movie reference? And yes, I realize I need a photoshop tutor 😉

Most embarrassing technology launch: PS3
Sony should write a book entitled “How to completely ruin a successful franchise”. Somehow they managed to create the world’s most powerful piece of poo wrapped in black shiny plastic. No good games, no availability, a $600 price tag, and limited online capabilities made this the big gaming flop of 2006. I now use ours as a potty stand for my two year old. Sure, Sony will rebound later and probably sell millions, but they’re no longer the undisputed console leader.

Most embarrassing fashion trend: grills
grillzNo, not the burn-down-your-house variety, but the type you place over your teeth. Grills (or more fashionably, “grillz”) seem to have hit critical mass this year, at least amongst inner city high school and college kids. Every other hip-hop and rap artist seems to be wearing them. Walk into any McDonald’s (or other common high school workplace) and you’ll probably see at least a few people flashing their “iced out grillz”.

Wondering what they look like when they’re not being worn? Check out Mr. Bling.

Most embarrassing politician: Donald Rumsfeld
How could we choose our modern day Mr. Magoo over President Bush, Mark Foley, Tom Delay, or others? Primarily because Donald Rumsfeld tried to be so serious that you can’t stop laughing at him, and he never seems to do anything right. Making him our top choice also provides me with a great excuse to show this hilarious video courtesy of CBS:

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

And here are the categories where we’re looking for your nominations (we’ll post the best responses here in the post):
– Most embarrassing commercial
– Most embarrassing news story
– Most embarrassing stunt/prank gone wrong
– Most embarrassing public speech
– Most embarrassing musical performance

Best wishes to all in the New Year!

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