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Archive for the 'Original' Category

When I was a kid, my brother collected comic books. I was never really a fan of the stories (except Superman and Richie Rich), but for some reason I loved the advertisements. The more sensational the better – I wanted it all.

Here are a 10 crazy vintage comic book ads I recently stumbled across. Many of these I’m somewhat embarrassed to admit that I actually bought (or at least tried to).

Cheap land for sale

Texas Ranch Land for Sale

Who wouldn’t want some prime Texas real estate? I was about six when I saw a similar advertisement and tried convince my parents to advance me four weeks allowance so I could be a rancher.

I had dreams of cows and wealth (Dallas was my second favorite TV show, primarily because it aired right after Knight Rider), but obviously no concept of measurement. Via comicvine

Comic book weapons (click either pic for full-sized ad)

Tripod swivel machine gun from comic book

Something tells me a kid couldn’t buy this nowadays. Actually, I’ll bet an adult couldn’t either, at least without being added to a terrorist watch list. Via comic coverage

Polaris Nuclear Sub Toy

The holy grail of kids’ toys back in the Sixties. The Polaris Nuclear Sub fired rockets/torpedoes, had working controls, and dove deep to help you search for pirate’s treasure. Fun for girls and boys, wow!

The only problem was that the sub was made from cardboard and rubber bands. Thank goodness they were discontinued well before I was born, the disappointment would have been devastating.

Has anyone ever seen one of these? If so, I’d love to hear about it. I’ll even pay for a picture of the actual sub – my curiosity is driving me crazy. Via psubs

The Superman Phenomenon

Superman vs. Muhammed Ali

In the mid-seventies, celebrities started popping up in superhero comics. Superman vs. Muhammed Ali was my favorite. It was quite possibly the silliest comic book ever (a boxer giving Superman a black eye?), but I loved it.

Kryptonite Rocks

This one never made sense to me. Be a friend to superman by buying Kryptnotastic rocks? Kids were supposed to buy them to keep the rocks out of the hands of villains. Makes a tiny bit of sense, but why wouldn’t the government just destroy them all or send them into space?

I convinced a couple kids on the school bus to buy them for protection in case Superman was exposed to red Kryptonite and came after them. They felt this was a logical reason, and received this upon ordering:

Kryptonite Rocks

Painted green rocks – they lost 3 weeks allowance, I got a great laugh. Then they went back to arguing whether or not Superman would come out of retirement to raise the Titanic.

Pics via x-entertainment

Hypnotize your friends

Hypnotize with a coin

My parents were psychologists, so I was always trying to convince them to teach me hypnotism. The hypno-coin was supposed to be my shortcut to fame and fortune. Another waste of two weeks allowance. I tried to hypnotize my brother into trading some of his garbage pail kid cards for my hypno-coin, but even that wouldn’t work.

X-Ray glasses

X-Ray glasses

After I bought these glasses, my older friends tried to convince me I just didn’t know how to use them right, and would “ooh” and “ah” when wearing them and looking towards neighbors houses. I never saw anything terribly revealing, but did give myself quite a few headaches.

Free Cash

Comic Book One Million Cash

Yes, I fell for this too. I probably spent around $3 to get a worthless catalogue and $1 Million in cheap cutout $10,000 bills. Fun.

This and next ad via Tom Heroes

Quail Eggs

Hatch your own Quail eggs

Why Quail eggs? Why not Chickens or even Turkeys? Did these actually work? I remember seeing Live Miniature Dogs (a “no way!” from mom and dad) and Sea Monkeys (another waste of three weeks allowance), but never incubators for Quail. I would love to hear from anyone who tried to hatch a mail order Quail as a kid.

Bizarre Adult Products

Irritated Eyelids

If you read comic books, you probably noticed lots of products that were certainly not marketed towards kids. How many kids had irritated eyelids? Or jock itch? And would women really peruse comic books to buy slimming bras?

If you were a comic book fan, what were your favorite advertisements?

Deer with doorbell ringer in its rear

Believe it or not, the deer doorbell ringer in this picture is 100% real. Would you switch doctors if you had to ring for service? I wonder if the head of the deer is on the other side acting as a coat rack for patients?

Original picture, illustrating that the deer was not photoshopped, from John. 😉

We now have an exclusive update on the chinese family who refused to leave their home, even after it looked like this:

China House
(if you haven’t seen the original story, you can read it here)

Turns out that the local Chinese government has decided to turn up the heat. Here is a photo that we just took at daybreak this morning:

China Island Home Evacuation

I also had the rare opportunity to interview a local Chinese government official on the developing story. Here are his responses:

Anita: Sir, this photograph makes it look like you are trying to bully the owners out of their home.
Official: Not at all, we are trying to help them.

Anita: Huh? That’s seems rather far fetched, can you clarify?
Official: Oh yes, sorry. Two nights ago, after the news slipped past our censors, err, I mean … after the world learned of this family’s honorable stand, a large dam malfunctioned and flooded the work site. The family almost drowned.

Anita: It ONLY damaged this work site? And that’s why you installed a 50 foot deep drainage pipe in their exit path?
Official: Yes, it was quite a unique accident. Due to family ties, the government would not allow us to move the family, so we installed the drainage pipe. Our non-government affiliated contractors chose the location, there were no ulterior motives.

Anita: Then how do you justify the shark?
Official: Again, for their protection. The unprecedented media attention drew large crowds of people who were swimming to the family’s island to offer assistance. We cannot allow such disruption, so we flew in a Great White shark to fend off the crowds.

Anita: Wouldn’t this put the family’s lives at danger too? Why not at least give them a sturdy boat, or build them a bridge?
Official: Those are excellent questions. I’ll ask my superiors once we finish installing the electrified steps down to the row boat.

Original pic via Spluch

Las Vegas, Nevada (Strutts News Services) – After becoming a famous recording artist, Britney Spears has also become an authority on the ins and outs of drug rehabilitation facilities. Recently Ms. Spears realized that she has a higher calling, and now she’s a spokeperson combating female under-representation in the workforce.

With little fanfare, Britney shaved her head and joined the Blue Man Group to show by example that sexism can’t be tolerated, even in a theater rock band. Changing her name to “Spears Akimbo”, she has replaced Blue No. 2 and renamed the band “Blue Person Group”.

Blue Man Group with Britney

Ms. Akimbo (Spears) had no intelligible comment worth printing, but the original Blue No. 2 was despondent: “They wouldn’t even let me help paint her up.” Blue No. 3 was more optimistic: “This could work, if we could just get her to stop singing.”

A new video is scheduled for release the day after never.

Pic via Stereogum

Now, even McDonalds is getting in on the “bald is beautiful” trend:

McDonalds and Britney Spears Bald Billboard

Thank goodness they aren’t giving out a McFlurry or Shamrock Shakes … I would have seriously considered their offer!

Florida (Strutts News Services) – Construction of the world’s largest miniature golf course began last week on the outskirts of Hacalugi, FL. Mr. Lannie Foosers, president of of Foosers Excavation, described the project as, “a virtual act of God. This is gonna be the greatest putt-putt golf course the world has ever seen, and we’re only on the first hole.”

World's Largest Putt-Putt Golf

However, construction has been temporarily halted. Hacalugi Councilwoman Tooncie Crumbler acknowledged the difficulties in getting approvals for the process. “It’s already a redevelopment district, so any improvement is, well, an improvement. After all, the first tee is a little over a quarter mile away. That’s a lot of land to manage.”

When asked about the schedule for the GMGC (Great Miniature Golf Course), Ms. Crumbler explained that the Hacalugi City Council was still working with the FAA to get approvals for a 422-foot tall windmill for the park. “Then, we’ll go on to the second hole,” explained Councilwoman Crumbler. “I hear that the par is going to be very challenging, but once you get to the green, no putters, no problem.”

The “Great Putt-Putt”, as it is known locally, is scheduled to officially open to the public sometime this century, maybe sooner. Or not.

Picture via Reuters

From Bad to Worse

From what I can tell, Anita has been practically living at work over the past week. After exchanging a couple short IMs, this is the story I pieced together:

Cartoon of Project at Work
OK, so I might have added a couple few minor details, and Anita’s boss might be a little taller, but otherwise it’s factual. 😉

(Created using strip creator)

For almost two seasons, Grey’s Anatomy has been The Show to watch on Thursdays. However, based on the following screenshot from an upcoming episode, it appears that Grey’s dominance may be nearing an end:

Grey's Anatomy Jumps the Shark

How heartbreaking … Dr. Shephard has to helplessly watch as Meredith’s last chance for survival rests with Dr. Bob and Nurse Piggy. There’s even rumors that that this episode might be a musical with Burt Baccarat (or even The Hoff) guest starring.

You may need to turn up your volume to hear the newscast:

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

So the Boston bomb squad members are now riding Segways? Maybe budget cuts were one of the repercussions for mistaking Cartoon Network’s marketing ploy for a bomb threat.

This was our first, and possibly our last, “original” video. Feel free to poke fun at my beyond-cheesy script, and Ben’s video editing and photoshop skills. Whether you liked it or not, we’d love to know 😉

Sony has conceded defeat in the gadget wars, so to recoup some of their recent losses they have teamed up with Apple to create the amazing WalkPod:

Sony Apple Walkpod Off

One Sony USA Executive couldn’t contain himself when I asked him to share his perspective on the new cross-functional music platform:

We realize that the chic retro trend is here to stay, so what could be more appropriate than mixing a classic Sony Walkman with an Apple iPod? Now I can listen to my Belinda Carlisle tapes using the same gadget that my grandson bops to K-Fed. That’s totally wicked.

We also added this super neat read-ahead feature that allows listeners to save tapes to memory. This means that I can switch tapes without stopping the music! I realize this device will likely kill off our strong traditional Walkman sales, but sacrificing the division (and the intern who leads it) for front page press in prestigious newspapers and blogs seems worth the loss.

I was skeptical until he provided this picture of the Walkpod‘s read-ahead feature in action:

Sony Apple Walkpod On

Sony expects to sell “hundreds” of these devices within the first year, effectively doubling their music player sales. Sony is also planning other retro devices, such as the UHF tvPod (with a traditional black and white picture), and the Newton Betamax player.

Special thanks to Neil Wilkinson for these pictures. Since he doesn’t have a blog, Neil wanted me to give a nod to his brother’s band, Semion [MySpace].

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