When I was a kid, my brother collected comic books. I was never really a fan of the stories (except Superman and Richie Rich), but for some reason I loved the advertisements. The more sensational the better - I wanted it all.

Here are a 10 crazy vintage comic book ads I recently stumbled across. Many of these I’m somewhat embarrassed to admit that I actually bought (or at least tried to).

Cheap land for sale

Who wouldn’t want some prime Texas real estate? I was about six when I saw a similar advertisement and tried convince my parents to advance me four weeks allowance so I could be a rancher.

I had dreams of cows and wealth (Dallas was my second favorite TV show, primarily because it aired right after Knight Rider), but obviously no concept of measurement. Via comicvine

Comic book weapons (click either pic for full-sized ad)

Something tells me a kid couldn’t buy this nowadays. Actually, I’ll bet an adult couldn’t either, at least without being added to a terrorist watch list. Via comic coverage

The holy grail of kids’ toys back in the Sixties. The Polaris Nuclear Sub fired rockets/torpedoes, had working controls, and dove deep to help you search for pirate’s treasure. Fun for girls and boys, wow!

The only problem was that the sub was made from cardboard and rubber bands. Thank goodness they were discontinued well before I was born, the disappointment would have been devastating.

Has anyone ever seen one of these? If so, I’d love to hear about it. I’ll even pay for a picture of the actual sub - my curiosity is driving me crazy. Via psubs

The Superman Phenomenon

In the mid-seventies, celebrities started popping up in superhero comics. Superman vs. Muhammed Ali was my favorite. It was quite possibly the silliest comic book ever (a boxer giving Superman a black eye?), but I loved it.

This one never made sense to me. Be a friend to superman by buying Kryptnotastic rocks? Kids were supposed to buy them to keep the rocks out of the hands of villains. Makes a tiny bit of sense, but why wouldn’t the government just destroy them all or send them into space?

I convinced a couple kids on the school bus to buy them for protection in case Superman was exposed to red Kryptonite and came after them. They felt this was a logical reason, and received this upon ordering:

Painted green rocks - they lost 3 weeks allowance, I got a great laugh. Then they went back to arguing whether or not Superman would come out of retirement to raise the Titanic.

Pics via x-entertainment

Hypnotize your friends

My parents were psychologists, so I was always trying to convince them to teach me hypnotism. The hypno-coin was supposed to be my shortcut to fame and fortune. Another waste of two weeks allowance. I tried to hypnotize my brother into trading some of his garbage pail kid cards for my hypno-coin, but even that wouldn’t work.

X-Ray glasses

After I bought these glasses, my older friends tried to convince me I just didn’t know how to use them right, and would “ooh” and “ah” when wearing them and looking towards neighbors houses. I never saw anything terribly revealing, but did give myself quite a few headaches.

Free Cash

Yes, I fell for this too. I probably spent around $3 to get a worthless catalogue and $1 Million in cheap cutout $10,000 bills. Fun.

This and next ad via Tom Heroes

Quail Eggs

Why Quail eggs? Why not Chickens or even Turkeys? Did these actually work? I remember seeing Live Miniature Dogs (a “no way!” from mom and dad) and Sea Monkeys (another waste of three weeks allowance), but never incubators for Quail. I would love to hear from anyone who tried to hatch a mail order Quail as a kid.

Bizarre Adult Products

If you read comic books, you probably noticed lots of products that were certainly not marketed towards kids. How many kids had irritated eyelids? Or jock itch? And would women really peruse comic books to buy slimming bras?

If you were a comic book fan, what were your favorite advertisements?

Are really bad special effects worse than no special effects at all? See what you think after watching these ridiculous short videos:

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

(if you can’t see the video, you can view it at VideoSift)

The snow on the slopes may be melting, but this ostrich plans to ski until there’s nothing left:

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

I wonder how they train ostriches to ski? I’ve actually been told this is part of an advertisement for a Japanese railway system (which, of course, makes perfect sense).

Now, even McDonalds is getting in on the “bald is beautiful” trend:

Thank goodness they aren’t giving out a McFlurry or Shamrock Shakes … I would have seriously considered their offer!

I love to fish, but could never get into ice fishing. Why not? To be honest, I was always afraid of something like this happening:

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

This is supposedly part of a commercial for Fish Oil … I can’t find the whole thing, but it certainly doesn’t give me the urge to buy supplements! Maybe Fishermen Anonymous could use this video in promotional materials instead?

This picture has almost nothing to do with the following joke, other than the setting. I just thought it was a funny way to advertise chicken:

I’ve always loved smart jokes, and usually I am amused by blonde jokes (my son and half the people in my extended family are either blonde or used to be). Since smart and blonde jokes are usually mutually exclusive, I was thrilled to receive this rare gem from MC at Culture Kills:

Setup: A middle-aged lawyer and an attractive blonde woman are sitting next to each other on a long flight from New York to London. The blonde is trying to get a little sleep, while the lawyer is vainly attempting to impress the blonde with his wit and intelligence. The blonde ignores the lawyer until he suggests a little wager.

Lawyer: Would you like to play a game? I’ll first ask you a question. If you can’t answer it, using any means at your disposal, you give me $5. Then if I can’t answer one of your questions, I’ll give you $500.
Blonde: Sure, why not?
Lawyer: Great. What’s the circumference of the earth?
Blonde (after quietly handing him $5 from her purse): OK, my turn. What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down the hill with four?

The lawyer is stumped. He starts jotting down ideas, searches the net via the plane’s in-seat phone, then finally calls up a few friends, all without any luck. After over an hour, he finally wakes up the blonde and hands her $500.

She thanks him for the money and closes her eyes, but the lawyer can’t contain himself: “Wait! You’ve gotta tell me, what was the answer???” Without a word, she reaches into her purse and hands him another $5, then lays down and falls back asleep.

You’ve probably seen the odd Burger King commercials with “The King”. These are the ads where all of a sudden a guy dressed as a king (complete with a massive plastic king head) pops up in unsuspecting places: the actor’s bedroom, outside their window, a bus stop, etc.

I always thought these commercials were pretty funny, but I also know some people find them creepy (one friend had nightmares of “The King” for a month after seeing the bedroom ad). Either way, “The King” is popular … so much so that Burger King recently released an XBOX 360 game featuring him.

Here’s the game trailer:

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

How silly can a game get? Surprisingly, it has sold over 2 Million copies (at U.S. Burger Kings) to become one of the most popular games of the past year. If you or your kids already have this game, what do you think? Is it as strange as the promo video appears?

Video via Emmanuel BRUNET

Over the past week I’ve been on an advertising kick. After publishing my choices for the Top 10 Billboard Advertisements, I had decided not to post any more funny or cool ads for a while. However, just as I was finishing a different post, a friend sent me what I could only describe as the strangest video I have ever seen:

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

By the third time watching it, I couldn’t stop laughing. Apparently this was a big hit in England, and was inspired by a commercial for Quiznos (also by the same producer):

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

I’m now told this is a relatively old commercial, but since I had never seen it (and am still laughing from these “spongmonkeys”), I thought maybe some of you hadn’t either.

What do you think … funny, annoying, or just dumb?

Why do Advertising executives think that a blurry photo of five 30 foot horses on the side of the road is going to make me drink beer? Or why do they think that I’d even attempt to remember the phone number of a fat greasy lawyer while I’m attempting to simultaneously finish my crossword puzzle puzzle, eat a waffle, and change from 4th to 5th?

Due to the abundance of bad roadside ads, I typically admire cool, funny, or just amazingly creative billboards while driving. Below are my choices for top 10 real billboard advertisements:

10. Bic ad:

Apparently located in England. However, this is the only one of the ten that I can’t independantly confirm as being real (if you’ve seen it, let me know where). Picture via

9. Moving and storage ad:

I saw a few of these in New York last time I was there. At the time, I thought it would have been much funnier if the adjacent billboard read: “Why store your doll collection? There’s plenty of freaky people on eBay!” Picture via Billboardom

8. Max Factor mascara:

This cool billboard changes from an attractive model to a make-up nightmare when it rains. Not sure how this is supposed to help sell more mascara though. Picture via Frederik Samuel

7. Sign from God:

Funny and a clever play on words - definitely more amusing than the other dozen or so “Billboards from God” dotting our highways. Picture via

6. Ikea - The page cannot be displayed:

This electronic billboard was supposed to be showing a real advertisement, but it looks like Windows (or their network) pooped out. While almost certainly not intentional, something tells me this would make a great ad for a Microsoft competitor. Picture via

5. Gain - Irresistible Scent:

3d billboard ads are popping up everywhere, particularly in big cities. This is one of my favorites, probably because it’s the first laundry detergent ad that was both effective and made me laugh. Picture via

4. Ford Mustang Blurred Motion:

This simple Ford Mustang billboard isn’t painted - it was actually created using a special type of semi-transparent material that blurs the scene behind it to make it look like you’re moving really fast, regardless of weather. UPDATE: looks like this was just a concept by Ian Hart, would have been a great ad though.

3. Nike 10k in Buenos Aires, Argentina

Another new trend is interactive billboards. In this ground level billboard, passersby can walk or run on the enclosed treadmill. For every kilometer run, Nike will donate a certain amount to UNICEF. Picture via Briefblog

2. Massive 3d Adidas goalkeeper:

To make sure they weren’t upstaged by Nike or other rivals, Adidas constructed this massive 3d advertisement at the Munich airport for the 2006 World Cup. Defining this as a billboard may be a stretch, but it was too cool not to include. Picture via

1. Summer 2006 Cartoon Network:

These funny ads showed up in the summer of 2006 all over the country. Most people had no idea what they meant, and the uncertainty heightened the buzz. After a few weeks, The Cartoon Network revealed characters on each ad (bottom right panel). Pictures via Andy little, here, here, and here

And finally, here’s one that was just taken today … it didn’t quite make my top ten, but I thought it was pretty funny:

via

If you’ve seen others that you think should be included, let me know and I’ll post them here.

This advertisment takes the “dumb blonde” misnomer to the extreme:

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

Found via. So all I need to do is buy a Mercedes, and I’ll stop asking dumb questions, right?