My well-thought-out and timely update will have to wait – I need answers today. I need answers now.
I’m sure you’re all familiar with the PC versus MAC ads that won’t shut up no matter how hard we wish. Well, Microsoft has answered…
What is this? It’s…well, it’s Bill Gates. And…Jerry Seinfeld being remarkably un-funny. Outstandingly lame cake and planet jokes and no mention whatsoever of any actual microsoft computer technology.
And what’s with the look they give each other after Gates says, “Leather.” It’s like a code. I feel like I’ve just watched a front. Like, somewhere in the world, some super secret spy sees Gates and Seinfeld in this commercial and slowly nods his head, picking up the phone.
“Yes, I saw it.” he says. “At last. Thank you. The invasion may now begin.”
Or, alternatively, Microsoft is introducing a line of cakeputers. Either way, I am mystified.
I’m not exactly an Ebay expert under any circumstances, but I have been known to throw in a bid at the occasional item of interest. So I guess I’ve got just enough experience to wonder why, oh why on earth, would anyone believe that selling some of these items would be a profitable idea? And who is buying these things? (In some cases, nobody).
“You are bidding on an unopened package of sugarless grape flavored Bubble Yum bubble gum. The gum is rock hard and is not meant for consumption.”
This one assumes the gum is from the ’80s because of the phrase “keeps it poppin'” It is sad how little people remember what the ’90s were capable of. For something TRULY from the ’80s, you can’t compete with currency…
ONE PERSON I KNOW CARRIED THIS DOLLAR IN THEIR WALLET. THEY WERE UNEMPLOYED AND 2 YEARS LATER WERE MAKING OVER $250,000 PER YEAR. IT WASN’T FROM A LOTTERY OR WINDFALL FROM THE SKY (face it those type of things dont happen very often), BUT IT WAS FROM BEING SHOWN A BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY OUT OF THE BLUE THAT WITH HARD WORK SKYROCKETED. Now, you could say It wasnt from the lucky dollar, but by fate, or chance, but does it hurt to carry a little luck with you.
Somewhere, someone is buying these. I just know it.
But hey. “Lucky Money” is easy to imitate. But you can’t fake the luck of a
Too bad they never showed this European commercial in the U.S., I think Americans would get a kick out of it.
Whenever I’ve seen someone in distress, I’ve always come to the “It’s a trap!” conclusion as well. I guess there’s good reason though – instead of some innocent young lady locked out of her car, I typically happen upon some fat sweaty guy in cutup jeans and a sleeveless t-shirt leaning against the side of his mid-eighties Chevy.
Yesterday’s fun with old cigarette ads inspired me to continue, broadening my search to just any old ad — any old ad that’s really weird. As it turns out, no website on the internet is big enough to contain the amount of weirdness in the advertising world.
OH NOEZ IT’S INFECTIOUS DANDRUFF YOU ARE NOT WELCOME IN MY HOME.
This is so frightening. Look at her eyes! I can’t…look…away……from the…hypnotizing…fruit spread…
Because when I think “fancy” I think “batteries”…and also “man with his hand over his head looking up at…something…”
So good, it’ll melt your pasty white face right off!
Pear’s Soap: It’ll crush your babies!
Once my house burned down and my dog ran away and lightning ruined my car and I lost all my hair. Then, someone gave me a plastic harmonica. It was all I needed.
You know what? I’m not even going to touch this one. This one is to look at and think about and not talk about. If you post a comment taking the obvious joke, I’ll lose respect for you forever, and write you out of my will. It’s a gum massager. That’s all.
Cleaning through a neighbor’s old house turned up a lot of interesting things: old bottles, toys, newspapers, and magazines. Most interesting were the magazines from over thirty years ago. They still had cigarette ads in them, and I thought, jeez, this is some crazy stuff. One quick search later, and I discovered that some old cig ads were really over the top:
Yeah! All the good things cigarettes do for you! Like lung disease! And cancer!
Yeah, dad! Thanks for smoking! I love developing asthma!
Not one, but TWO layers of cellophane! So it’s fresh! Like…eggs?
Right. If a man blew smoke into my face, I’d sure follow him anywhere. With a steak knife.
Not sure how well you can read this one, but it suggests that every puff of smoke cleans itself. Which is pretty much a lie, but check out the cute kitty cleaning itself, like the lying smoke!
Heh…a man kept a dog with no legs. He named it Cigarette, because every night he took it out for a drag.
I’m so sorry.
Smoking is bad for you, kids. No matter what the lady in the white powdered wig says.