ProfessorTom! Congratulations!

Here’s the picture and his winning caption:

“When the regular Physics instructor failed to appear, “Professor-in-a-Box” automatically inflated and took over the lecture.”

This was a great contest. You guys all had awesome submissions. They were so good. Round of applause for you!

In 1899, Charles H. Duell, the head of the U.S. Patent Office, supposedly said “Everything that can be invented has been invented.” Too bad he isn’t still alive - if he was I’d be one of the first to line up at his door to give him a nice gooey shot of this:

Mmmmm … pancake batter from a can. College kids rejoice, your dream breakfast has been invented! Somehow, it’s even certified organic … not quite sure how that happens, next thing you know they’ll start selling Organic Cheez Whiz and Fruity Pebbles.

Find your own local store via the Batter Blaster Product Page.

There must be a translation problem here. Maybe this is bottled water for your sweaty pet? That, or the Japanese have far worse taste than I thought. So much for my plan to stave off disease by drinking bottled water when overseas. via Tokyo Times

Ketchum, Idaho (Strutts News Services) - Over thousands of years humans have successfully domesticated animals, insects and plants. Domesticated animals include cats, dogs, chickens, cows, children, goats, horses, pigs and sheep, among many others. Domesticated insects include bees, and, um, other bees. Domesticated plants include corn, rice, rye, wheat, and many varieties of plants that we take for granted, like granola barensia and cocopuffsia.

In our long history of domesticating various species, early humans understood that in only one generation previously domesticated flora and fauna can, and often do, turn feral… sometimes with disastrous results.

That is exactly what happened Thursday afternoon, when tens of thousands of feral potatoes blocked State Route N US 91 from Wapello to Blackfoot, Idaho.

Eyewitness reports indicate that the spuds were upset about recent news reports promoting tax-funded corn subsidies for ethanol production. “We’ve seen enough!” said one, identified only as “Norgold Russet.” “Sure, corn has ears, but we’ve got eyes, and we don’t like what we see.”

With the arrival of an asphalt roller from nearby Idaho Falls, the protest disbanded slowly, leaving the denizens of Wapello in dismay. “We’re out of gravy!” exclaimed a tear-streaked Bonnie Phumph. “And the butter’s running out, too!”

Photo via Grit in the Gears

Yea, though I walk through the valley of java, I fear no evil, because I refuse to pony up $5 or more clams for a simple cup of coffee, unless, of course, it looks like this:

Knock one of these down Monday morning and you’ll be chewing coat hangers until Friday afternoon. More “Latte Art” can be found at Oddee.

My lovely wife was out of wine this evening. That in itself is not bad, but I was just about out of beer. Wisely, I volunteered to make a quick run down to the local grocery store, and axed if anyone else needed anything. My kids spoke up. They wanted those fruit things. You know. Sticky fruit things. “Fruit Leathers?” I asked, and the correct answer bells went off all over the house. Even the cat jumped up and ran outside to where cats belong.

So I went down to the local market, looking for fruit leathers, figuring that they must be somewhere between the canned artichoke hearts and the Liquid Plumber. I wandered for a while until a worker bee, who didn’t know what fruit leathers were either, directed me to the “ethnic aisle”. No one in California knows what fruit leathers are unless they have already made their peace with God and spend a lot of their time reminiscing about street cars and people named Walter.

I found the aisle. I found dried mango slices. Good enough, I thought, until I found a bag of things right next to them labeled “IGDE PSHAT”.

I arrived at the checkout stand with a bottle of wine, some cheap beer, dehydrated mango slices, and a bag of Igde Pshat, and NO ONE questioned me. Spooky.

I later found out that they knew something I had completely glossed over. Igde Pshat has almost no nutrients, but it tastes pretty good. One serving is listed as eight of the little roach-sized buggers, according to the label.

Eating eight gives you all the 29 grams of sugar you need to live another four days. If you eat 57, you might as well stay on the potty until noon, and consider the risk of diabetes. Eat 80 and you have your daily carbs, and you’re sugar-wired. If you eat 400 daily, all your calcium and iron is accounted for, too, and you’ll live to the ripe old age of 37.

IS THIS THE PERFECT SNACK FOOD, OR WHAT? No significant nutritional value, it’s grown in third world countries, tastes good, and it’s cheaper than dried mango. And no, it doesn’t taste like Pshat.

For some reason, themed designer wedding cakes are now all the rage. I’ve seen cakes shaped like dolphins, islands, and luggage (my brother-in-law’s suitcase cake was so realistic the photographer tried to pick it up).

However, for geeks like me, nothing really compares to the Super Mario Cake:

The entire cake, except for the Mario and Princess on top, are completely edible. I’m particularly amazed at the level of detail … check out these close-ups of a koopa troopa and piranha plants.

Does anyone know what tricks a modern day cake artisan utilizes to create such a masterpiece, and how much it costs? For serious gaming fans, the cost would totally be worth it. Too bad my wife would have never agreed.

via Super Mario Cake Flickr set

Mmmm … bacon:

via

We all know that smoking and drinking can be bad for humans, but what about for Marshmallow Peeps? Extensive research was conducted in the late 90’s to determine the impact of these vices on the fragile, yet delicious, Easter treats.

Smoking:

Even though the Peep finished half a camel, it showed no signs of coughing or lung damage. Fearing a backlash for giving cigarettes to “young chicks”, researchers stopped their study after a single smoke instead of giving the purple peep a 500-pack case as originally planned.

Drinking:

Once again, the peep showed surprising resiliency. After being given 8 shots of 190 proof alcohol, there were no noticeable physical changes to the peep, although at one point it began swimming on its side and bumping into the glass walls.

Smoking and Drinking:

Researchers were stunned at the peep’s hardiness, so they decided to get the peep ready for a night out on the town by testing its reaction to the combination of smoking and drinking.

After only a few minutes, the peep began to show signs of distress:

Oops, looks like peeps are better suited for Easter baskets than night clubs! More peep research available here. Thanks Matt!

Would you eat dinner in an open air restaurant, with 21 of your closest friends, suspended from a crane at 160 feet above the ground?

Interested? Before answering “Yes”, look at the Dinner in the Sky in action, and see if you detect anything missing:

Imagine 8 hours of eating and drinking, secured only by a seatbelt rigged dinner chair, with NO BATHROOM! For the $9,000+ rental cost, I’d at least expect a port-a-potty … watch out below!

There’s not even a pesky floor to ruin your view (or your aim after a few drinks):

On the plus side, Belgium-based Dinner in the Sky will drive their invention to almost any accessible destination (sorry fellow Americans, our only option is to buy the contraption, no rentals available stateside). The mobility of the venue opens up some fantastic viewing opportunities, like at this Formula One race:

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

Considering some box seats can run $1,000 apiece at high profile events, this could be a bargain for those with the money (and the bladder control).

Link