But hey, let’s not be too harsh on sequels this year. The Dark Knight. Have you guys seen it yet? Holy cow. It’s pretty intense.

So intense, in fact, that nothing made me happier than this parody…

WHY SO SERIOUS?

But do not let the rest of this wonderful season pass you by! Here at SNTC headquarters, we want you to enjoy your time to the fullest, especially these sweet summer days, and so here are some notable attractions for you to notice and appreciate this season.

Chapter 1: Berries!

Berries! Berries are delicious fruit. They grow and ripen in the summer! Did you know berries actually do not grow in little perforated plastic containers in your grocer’s fruit section? They grow outdoors! In summer! Here are a few of the most enjoyable berries you may come across this summer…

Strawberries

Hi! We are strawberries! We grow low to the ground on vines. Our seeds are on the outside, so you can’t tell if you’re biting into a delicious clean fruit, or a terrible abomination covered in tiny bugs. It looks the same! Woohoo! In the wild, we are sweet and tart and an adventure! In the market, we’re mostly bruised and the ones on the bottom are probably fuzzy and smell bad. Terrific!

Blackberries

Did you know that before it was a phone, the blackberry was a fruit? It’s true!

We are blackberries! We grow on tall bushes that are conveniently covered in terrible thorns, in areas where there are plenty of trees to block any wind! Nice and hot and stagnant air, perfect for summer berrypicking! Oh yeah! All the best, biggest, juiciest blackberries grow at the very top, where you have to impale yourself thousands of times to reach us. Hope you don’t like skin on your arms as much as you enjoy tiny berry clusters filled with tough little seeds. Our seeds are just small enough to get permanently wedged in your molars! Hooray!

Mulberries

We grow on super tall trees! We are strange and sweet and alluring. We stain everything we touch, and attract every brand of bug and bird (watch what you’re eating)! Party time! Also, heaven help the poor sap who decides to park his car under a mulberry tree! The birds’ poop is pink, man! Fantastic!

Raspberries

Eh, we’re okay I guess.

There are MANY kinds of berries out in the summer wilderness for you to investigate! Do not let these days slip by – SNTC says: summer is AWESOME.

Improv Everywhere has been around for a long time, so I’m not even going to pretend that this is hip and new. But it occurs to me that some of you may never have heard of them, and you deserve to be in the know.

Basically, a group of people, sometimes big, sometimes small, will act out a scene. Picture a flash mob, except awesome. With characters, storylines, and a whole heaping helping of tripping everyone out.

They’re like so many elaborate pranks you’ll find on the internet, but with an exception. They’re not aimed at anyone specifically; they’re aimed at everyone. And they aren’t mean spirited or meant to embarrass, but meant to make a person think and learn, reconsider the ordinary, and have a brighter day.

Or, just to make a group of people work together for a stranger.

They’ve done some incredible things and I’m going to encourage you all to take a while and read about some of their missions. Maybe some of you live nearby them and might want to be involved. For your pleasure, a video.

But I think not sharing this would make me the devil. It’s a lousy time of year, spring is taking FOREVER to get here, and it seems everywhere we turn there are just spoiled brats, jerks, and morons filling up the internet.

So it’s a real joy for me to be able to log in here and post this. Consider your day BRIGHTENED.

EDIT: For you guys asking, I guess he’d asked for an Xbox and his parents, to keep it a secret, told him money was “tight” and maybe they’d be able to rent one some weekend. Hence his shock and excitement. Also, I guess he broke his collarbone for his last birthday (kids do this) and that’s why his not being in the hospital is so cool. He does not have a terminal illness, don’t cry.

No, I’m not on drugs. Though this game is just as addictive as anything on the market.

Thanks, Hand Drawn Games!

W00t.

So congrats, all you w00t voters, and no hard feelings, all you other-word voters. I’d have voted w00t myself if it was five years ago.

But hey. I know I’ve been gone for a long time. But the worst of my finals is over. I will need to pull no more all-nighters and then all-dayers and then write essays. I’ll probably need a few hundred hours of recuperation-sleep, but I’ll be back here and posting.

To make up for my absence to you all, here is something to make you happy.

It’s just the littlest kitten ever!

So, thought I’d stop by and share something with you that made me smile.

Photojournalist Saves Puppy

He saved the puppy and stayed true to his job. Now that’s what I call multitasking.

Tomorrow, I will write real content that will be awesome.

So this? This is pretty much the height of internet joy for me.

Somebody took the joy of lolcats and the awesomness of PostSecret and made Lolsecretz. The lolcat secret postcard wepage.

Just a warning, though, there is some strong language in a few of them. But, it’s kitties!!

And it makes me laugh. Every dang time. Also, note the refreshing lack of lame commentary by washed up comedian show host (which is nearly unavoidable with clips like these).

Now I wish I could be like these brilliant people and just write something funny. Then I could at least be proud of my answer.

Though, when pressed by professors to write a paper comparing the social views of Miller and Thoreau, I wrote a two-paragraph introduction about the superiority of candy. And I still got an A. That’s something to be proud of.