Time for another caption contest. The rules are simple: just add your own funny/witty caption for the picture above in a comment, and the winning caption will be selected either by me or through a vote, depending on the number of entries.

Note that entries that aren’t appropriate for all ages will be removed (we have quite a few kids who read the site).

Pic via joe-ks (Thanks Bunk!)

UPDATE: Thanks for all your caption submissions in our most recent contest:

I think this was a tough one to caption (and to judge). You can see all submissions at the contest page, but here are my 7 favorites captions. Vote for yours at the bottom, or feel free to comment on one you liked better.

Finalists:

“Oh, Sir Ralph, doeth me the pleasure of mounting thy noble steed, Segway, and travel to yon pub of ill-repute and mounting my noble steed until knight comes.” - from Howard

Sadly, despite King Arthur’s tax incentives, the Segway did not catch on during the Dark Ages. Historians blame its demise on the difficulty of retrofitting castles with electric outlets. - from Diesel

“I say, this contraption is much kinder to the family jewels than a horse!” - from VelvetVerbosity

“Yes, Dear, I DO have to make that ‘clip-clop’ sound.” - from Bunk (#1)

“Look at all we can accomplish, now that we have tenure.” - from Bunk (#2)

“This guy is in charge of a nuclear reactor. Seriously” - from Belarius (he really was serious here, wow)

“A bit more pricey than coconuts, but well worth the cost.” - from Keith

Time for another little caption contest. Just add your caption in a comment, and I’ll put a list of the best submissions up for vote in the next few days.

Winner gets heaps of praise and a link to their site (or the site of their choice). Special props to anyone who has the real story behind the photo.

Thanks Lennon for the pic!

Your votes (all 321 of them) from our Best Short Joke Mini Contest have been tallied, and the joke with the most votes was this one:

Two cows are standing in a field. The first one asks “Aren’t you worried about this mad cow disease?” The second one responds “It doesn’t worry me, I’m a duck”.

For submitting this joke, V.dog wins the $25 prize (he requested a check in lieu of our super secret mystery prize). Here are the other 4 jokes rounding out the top 5:

#2 (from SteveT)

Guy comes home, yells to his wife, “Pack your bags! I just won the lottery!” “Where are we going?” she asks. “What do you mean ‘we’?” he says.

#3 (from Dusty)

What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.

#4 (from LoQtus)

What do you call an Amish man with his hand in a horse’s butt? A mechanic.

#5 (from O’Bunny)

A skeleton walks into a bar and says “Give me a beer and a mop.”

Hopefully you all enjoyed our fun little contest!

Wow, our Best Short Joke Contest received over 300 jokes! I just couldn’t cut my favorites list to less than 10 jokes, so rather than randomly picking a winner I figured I’d let you decide in a quick poll.

The person who submitted the joke with the most votes as of midnight on Thursday can choose between $25 or a super secret mystery prize. The people who submitted the top 5 jokes will also get special recognition.

Here are the jokes, pick your favorite then vote in the poll

1. What happened to the butcher who sat on his bacon slicer? He got behind with his orders!

2. What are seagulls that live by the bay? BAGELS

3. I was told that cow tongue is a delicacy, but I have a hard time tasting something that is tasting me back.

4. Two cows are standing in a field. The first one asks “Aren’t you worried about this mad cow disease?” The second one responds “It doesn’t worry me, I’m a duck”.

5. What do you call an Amish man with his hand in a horse’s butt? A mechanic.

6. Why do sharks live in salt water? Because pepper water would make them sneeze!

7. A skeleton walks into a bar and says “Give me a beer and a mop.”

8. It was so hot that I saw two trees fighting over a dog.

9. What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.

10. Guy comes home, yells to his wife, “Pack your bags! I just won the lottery!” “Where are we going?” she asks. “What do you mean ‘we’?” he says.

UPDATE: The contest is over, but I’m waiting for you to help me pick the winner in this short poll. Thanks for all your great jokes, I had a fun time reading them!

Time for another fun little contest. This one’s easy - just add a comment with your best short joke.

Leave as many jokes as you’d like, they can be original or ones you’ve heard elsewhere. The only limitations are to keep them short and keep them G/PG rated.

Depending on the response, I’ll either announce my favorites here or put them up for vote. The top 5 will get posted here with a link back to their site (if they have one). I’ve decided to throw in a fun mystery prize for the best one (or a cash prize if the winner would prefer)!

Even cheesy or bad jokes are welcome … I laugh at almost anything, even this:

The contest will end Saturday night, so don’t delay in showing off your inner Comedian!

UpdateThe caption contest is over (although feel free to add new captions). Almost all the entries were funny, so it was tough to choose my favorites, but here goes nothing (in order posted):

• “Huh? I got something where? On my left or right cheek?” - word_sling
• “Hey shhhh! I’m in camouflage.” - Paul
• “I may have made a slight mess, hope mommy doesn’t notice.” - libragirl
• “Don’t ask me where the chicken is. Just don’t ask…” - Richie
• “Man, these are some complex carbohydrates.” - Diesel

Wanted: great caption for this cute messy baby (submit as a comment)
Reward: a lifetime of fame & fortune (i.e., I’ll list the best captions in the post and link to your site)

(if anyone knows the original source, let me know)

Our second contest, identify five pictures to win $20 to $100 is officially over, and Luke is our winner! He selected the Super Secret Mystery Prize (which we’ll announce once he gets it), so for now I’ll just show some of the funny responses to the bonus question:

• “Hey…pssst…c’mere…let me out and I’ll tell you everything I know about time travel.” - Cameron
• “Sunkist orange advert.” - Prying1
• “Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater, Had a wife and couldn’t keep her,
  Put her in a pumpkin shell, and there he kept her very well. ” - MathMom
• “Mr. Koolaids match.com date. ‘OH, YEAAAAAH!’” - Kendall
• “RUUUN!! ITS HEADED RIGHT FOR US!!!! this guy lost a bet. to an orange.” - Amanda

Our Identify the Picture contest is entering its last week. The new pictures are now pretty easy, and include the final clue, so vote quickly before someone else guesses all 5 pictures.

For example, here’s one of the tougher pictures from last week and the same picture today:

Last week: Not for the meek What is that inside? You like dogs too?

This week: clues: Not for the meek What is that inside? You like dogs too? Think mustard would go with that?

We’ll announce our winner next week, but even if you think someone has already won you can still guess. Remember, only your final guess counts. The most accurate guess as of next Thursday will win the $20 (or super secret mystery prize). Plus, we’ll pull out the funniest bonus picture guesses and give props to the authors (and their websites if they provided them).

Click here to go to the contest and enter your guesses.

Our Identify the Picture contest is now even easier to win. The new pictures show a sizeable part of the final image, and I also added 2 more clues for each picture. For example, here’s one of the pictures from last week and the same picture today:

Last week: clue: Not for the meek

This week: clues: Not for the meek What is that inside? You like dogs too?

We’ve received responses that are correct for at least 3 of the pictures, so it’s quite likely that with the new clues and pictures someone will win this week. Remember, you can leave as many guesses as you want, but your last guess is the only one that’s counted. Click here to go to the contest and enter your guesses. If you have general comments about our contest, feel free to enter them here (but only put your entries on the contest post).