If you haven’t seen all 6 Rocky movies yet, this video will get you caught up … in about 10 seconds:

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

Also check out the Next Rocky in Training if you haven’t already. Talk about guts.

Las Vegas, Nevada (Strutts News Services) – After becoming a famous recording artist, Britney Spears has also become an authority on the ins and outs of drug rehabilitation facilities. Recently Ms. Spears realized that she has a higher calling, and now she’s a spokeperson combating female under-representation in the workforce.

With little fanfare, Britney shaved her head and joined the Blue Man Group to show by example that sexism can’t be tolerated, even in a theater rock band. Changing her name to “Spears Akimbo”, she has replaced Blue No. 2 and renamed the band “Blue Person Group”.

Ms. Akimbo (Spears) had no intelligible comment worth printing, but the original Blue No. 2 was despondent: “They wouldn’t even let me help paint her up.” Blue No. 3 was more optimistic: “This could work, if we could just get her to stop singing.”

A new video is scheduled for release the day after never.

Pic via Stereogum

I have just learned that casting for the next Rocky movie is almost over. My sources say that Rocky VII is to be focused on the career switch of The Italian Stallion’s son from businessman to boxer, and that the kid in this video is the front runner for the role:

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

Seriously though, I’m surprised that kid didn’t get arrested, or at least beaten up.

Now, even McDonalds is getting in on the “bald is beautiful” trend:

Thank goodness they aren’t giving out a McFlurry or Shamrock Shakes … I would have seriously considered their offer!

Notice anything strange about Derek Jeter’s newest Topps baseball card?

Wait, is that George W. Bush waving to Mr. November as he takes a swing? Who knew that secret service would allow the president to sit in the regular box seats? And who’s that in the dugout? Did the Great Mickey Mantle decided to make a return to the living to catch a Yankees game? Talk about pressure!

Apparently somewhere between the final proofing and printing the cards, someone at the company thought it would be funny to put in Bush and Mantle. It was too late for Topps to change the card, so they just laughed and included the card in the set.

I’d love to get one of these, seems like it would make a great collector’s card one day.

Link

As a little kid, Mr. T seemed to be every boy’s hero. I had forgotten just how popular he was until I ran across Mr. T and Me, a website dedicated to chronicling the vast array of bizarre Mr. T memorabilia released over the years. I’ve included some of my favorites below.

Mr. T School Quality Crayons In addition to 8 regular colors, the 16 crayon set comes with Special Mr. T colors such as: “Right-on Red”, “Brotherhood Black”, and “Buckle Down Brown”. Maybe the “Learn-A-Lot Yellow” is what makes these School Quality? This would have made the perfect gift for the kid who has “no time for the jibba-jabba” as Mr. T might say.

Clubber Lang Dancing Hamster Rocky was no match for Clubber Lang at the beginning of Rocky III, probably because he didn’t train against the official Mr. T dancing hamster. Not only does it sing “The Eye of the Tiger”, but it also squeeks Mr. T trademark insults such as “I pity the fool”, “Pain”, and “I am gonna bust you up”. Tough words from a goatee’d hamster in boxers. If there was ever a sign that a celebrity’s career is over, the endorsement of a singing/dancing hamster would have to be it.

Mr. T. Corn Cereal Before you could Wake up with The King, Quaker Oats’ cereal made everyone excited to Wake Up with Mr. T. I actually have vague memories of this cereal being halfway decent (my brother convinced my mom to buy this for him once). But then again, I also remember thinking Fruity Pebbles was the best invention ever, so this was probably equally horrid.

Mr. T Cookie Jar Huge Mr. T fans would have loved to get inside Mr. T’s head to learn what made him tick. Some kids already knew – Cookies! Of all the Mr. T memorabilia, this has to be the scariest looking. I’d gladly meet Mr. T in a dark alley over this cookie jar!

Mr. T Fuzzy Slippers Nothing says “Don’t mess with this Manly Man” like a pair of Mr. T fuzzy slippers. If someone doesn’t get the hint and gives you strange looks, shout a few Mr. T’isms, like “Don’t make me mad, Arrr!” Now if you’d put the hamster inside one of these slippers, THAT would be intimidating!

And finally, thanks to Bunk Strutts for sending us this pic of Pee Wee Herman eating Mr. T cereal!

Can you get more 80’s than that?

Our Crack team of photographers was able to capture this picture, a split second before Chewbacca headbutted a tour guide dressed as a pirate outside Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in L.A.:

‘Chewie’ was reported as saying “Nobody tells this Wookiee what to do,” right before slamming his head into the guide’s forehead. While Superman was present, he didn’t step in to end the scuffle, probably because Elmo and Mr. Incredible had lost their priveleges in similar fights earlier (so far, all 100% real … via Reuters).

Chewie’s arrest marked the end of a long downward spiral from his famed role in Star Wars. Chewbacca’s first attempt at salvaging his career wasn’t so bad … his height and strength made him an unbeatable pitcher for the Boston Red Sox:

(thanks Loren)

Chewbacca’s baseball career ended abruptly when he started eating baseballs and shooting at costumed stormtroopers with his laser. Given his celebrity status, the police felt that prison would be too dangerous for the wookie, so placed him in a zoo instead.

All was well until Chewie mistook a young kangaroo for a cute female Wookie:

(picture by Dan via Little Lamb)

The police couldn’t excuse him for breaking the poor kangaroo’s leg (even if accidentally), so Chewbacca went underground:

(thanks Karin)

Celebrities … they can never stay out of the limelight for long, even if it means ditching a disguise to do a little headbutting.

Have you ever noticed that Paris Hilton looks a lot like Smurfette?

The similarities don’t end at appearances either:

Smurfette: Premiered in 1981 on NBC
Paris Hilton: Born 17 February 1981

Smurfette: Was magically created out of clay by Gargamel to cause jealousy and competition between smurfs
Paris Hilton: Has a clay personality, thinks everyone is jealous, and wants famous men fighting over her

Smurfette: Considered to be the worst singer in all of Smurfdom
Paris Hilton: Did you ever listen to her album, Paris?

Smurfette: Wears tiny white dresses that barely cover her smurfly parts
Paris Hilton: Wears tiny white dresses, and often shows her, uh, smurfly parts

Smurfette: Always causing trouble, including flooding of the smurf village
Paris Hilton: Do we need to go into details?

Smurfette: Underwent extensive plastic smurfery to become a blond bombshell
Paris Hilton: Underwent extensive plastic surgery to transform her from smurfly-looking to tabloid-worthy

Smurfette: Has large smurf feet
Paris Hilton: Is embarassed that plastic surgery couldn’t shrink her large feet

Smurfette: Lives under a mushroom in a strange fantasy world
Paris Hilton: Lives a strange fantasy life, and (based on her smarts) presumably grew up under a mushroom

Coincidence? I think not.

Here’s a screenprint of the eBay listing:

Lohan was quoted as saying: “This whole operation thing has been, like um, really hard for me. I’m hoping that this doesn’t end my singing career, I mean, like, come on … how’s a girl supposed to sing without her applesautix? The money from this auction will be used for a real super cause, and if the winner is cute, he may even get an invite to the, uh, kickin party, ummm … I mean super cause.”