I know it’s been a slim week for quality updates, and to distract you let me throw a lolcats video at your face:

I promise Quality, Words, and Not Videos will be here very soon. It’s been a rough midterms season.

I tend to get a little tense sometimes. I tend to get easily frustrated, at people and things.

It’s a cold, depressing time of year, you know? So I thought I’d post something cute and uplifting today, and I’ve scowered the internet but am completely unable to find anything that has made me smile so consistently as this:

Have a good one.

It’s October, and nearing that special time of year that kids of all ages dress up in ridiculous garb and beg money from kind strangers, then come home to worried parents rifling through their prizes for razors and poison. Good times, good times.

Unless, of course, you’re one of those poor creatures who do not pick out and dress up in costumes: those who are dressed up in costumes unwillingly. The pets.

I searched the internet for many many tens of minutes and for my efforts have compiled a collection of ten awesome pet costumes. Most are dogs, because they are big enough to dress up and also because cats tend to cooperate not much at all when it comes to costumes. Unless you’re planning on going as “person scratched all to heck.”

#10 - the hot dog.

Cliche and predictable, yes, but nice execution and pretty dog.

#9 - Darth Pug

Honestly, I wouldn’t care for this as much if it wasn’t a pug. But it is a pug. Comedy genius.

#8 - Cat the Cat

I can’t help but wonder if the owner has somehow missed the point of dressing up the cat. However, the fact that it looks totally miserable is so hilariou–OH MY LORD!!! THE EYES!! THE EYES THE EYES!! WHAT IN HEAVEN IS WRONG WITH ITS EYES!!?

#7 - Dragon

I just gotta give them props for dressing up a lizard. I mean, dang.

#6 - Dog Butt

Is it wrong that a dog with a plastic butt should rank so high on the list. Probably.

#5 - Too Cute

Would you just look at that? That is so cute my heart stopped. I just want to put it in my pocket.

#4 - Top Cat

Everything’s funnier in a top hat and oversized bowtie. But I think this costume is less what the cat is wearing, and more how he’s wearing it. He looks like he belongs in a top hat. I be he’s got a cane too.

#3 - Just…wrong.

I literally can’t look at this without laughing. Not sure if it qualifies as a “costume” since it’s painted on the cat, but I don’t care. Ah, me. Poor cat.

#2 - Croc Dog

This is just straight up clever.

#1 - Going Completely Too Far, Lady. Too Far.

This one…I just…words fail. Again, painted on the fur and less a real “costume,” but I gotta give the poor pooch credit for being the best sport in the world. What effort. What painstaking effort. Fur had to be grown out, trimmed just so, dyed just so….

There you have it folks. Be nice to your pets, people. Next time you think of dressing your animal up for fun…just think of creepy eye cat. *shudder*

Though if you do it anyway and the result is hilarious, shoot me an e-mail or something. I might post it.

I know this is a comedy website, but this serious, serious song spoke to me. It touched a deep place in my soul.

Hey, speaking of owls (no, not an ORLY joke)

{o,o} -hoo
|)””’)
-”-”-
It’s an owl!

…I…I just…I apologize. It’s midterms week over on my end, and I’m a little loopy.

So! I think in my Top 10 Websites to See at Least Once article I mentioned liking PostSecret. And, it’s no secret whatsoever under any circumstances that I love lolcats.

So this? This is pretty much the height of internet joy for me.

Somebody took the joy of lolcats and the awesomness of PostSecret and made Lolsecretz. The lolcat secret postcard wepage.

Just a warning, though, there is some strong language in a few of them. But, it’s kitties!!

I commute 100 miles roundtrip each day, so my friends always ask why I don’t buy a hybrid. In the past, I’ve always responded with “I already get 45 mpg, why spend $20K for the same fuel economy”.

From today forward though, my response will be: “because I’m waiting for the next generation of hybrid”, then I’ll show them this:

The 1 HP Fleethorse NaturCar is a new super-efficient hybrid that may soon be on the market, and it’s powered by carrots, grass clippings, and other edible waste products. It’s kind of like a Mr. Fusion, just bigger and smellier.

No surprise, the NaturCar was designed by a group in Dubai, and comes with all the bells and whistles imaginable in a horse on wheels. To power the car, the horse walks on a treadmill which charges the car’s batteries (the treadmill doubles as the “exhaust” system, which is stored under the vehicle).

For some reason, I wouldn’t be surprised if these became big sellers in Japan.

So, this is pretty much one of the oldest things in the world…as far as I can tell it’s from the show America’s Funniest Home Videos, or some similar cash-in-on-people’s-contributions television program. And, normally, I wouldn’t submit something so universal, but…but…it’s kitties!! Funny kitties!

And it makes me laugh. Every dang time. Also, note the refreshing lack of lame commentary by washed up comedian show host (which is nearly unavoidable with clips like these).

So this is old news. Like, oooollllddd news. The internet has moved on past it. And yet…the fact that it hasn’t appeared here at SayNoToCrack, bothers me a little.

And the fact that it’s here now, can bother you a little. Because I cannot move on with my life until I’m sure every one of you guys has seen…

THE DRAMATIC CHIPMUNK.

I know it’s not a chipmunk…I’m pretty sure it’s a prairie dog, although other websites have called it a “marmot.” I don’t know. BUT LOOK HOW DRAMATIC IT IS. And, much like with the Dear Sister affair, it was only a matter of time before the internet responded with an entire ton of dramatic chipmunk parodies. A few worth mentioning:

Go ahead and look more up, if you choose…there are more of these than stars in the sky. Or…more of them than there are of other videos.

UPDATE: Once again, we received lots of great captions for this picture:

You can see all submissions at the contest page, but here are my 7 favorite captions. Vote for yours at the bottom, or feel free to comment on one you liked better.

Finalists:

That’s the problem with eating Chinese, half an hour later you’re hungry again. - yf

I said no tongues! - Anonymoose

Outside of elephants, books were her favorite interest. Inside of elephants … well, it was just too dark to read. - gr

The day Marie quit the zoo. - Alpaca the Awesome

I don’t know what this elephant ate, but he’s throwin’ up a Chinese lady! - Chase

Betty Rubble: This is the last time I agree to fix the shower… - Cori

I guess you’re right. Your tongue is longer than my face. - Kaitlan

Time for another caption contest. The rules are simple: just add your own funny/witty caption for the picture above in a comment, and the winning caption will be selected either by me or through a vote, depending on the number of entries.

Note that entries that aren’t appropriate for all ages will be removed (we have quite a few kids who read the site).

Pic via joe-ks (Thanks Bunk!)