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SayNoToCrack has featured funny old ads before, but this batch is a little different. While the world was still advertising cigarettes, tape worms, and spousal abuse in its popular magazines, what kind of marketing was there for the babies?

Terrifying marketing, that’s what kind.

Babies are belligerent, messy, loud, and incoherent on the best day. Who in heck decided thought giving them a sugary soda would be a good idea?

cola ad

Surely there must be something better for kids than…


…Oh. Well now that’s just a terrible idea. I can’t believe people used to give their babies alcohol. I just hope they kept the kids away from anything harmful while they were intoxicated!


Oh come on. How is a horrifying, probably-wasted baby going to sell any razors? Did people apply to marketing teams way back when? Or did the world just hate babies?


Apparently so! Hey, ladies! Here’s a tanning light! We promise it won’t burn you – just test it out on your brand new baby.

vintage disturbing ads11

…actually, you know what? If this is what babies looked like 50+ years ago, it’s no wonder parents were trying to cook them and drink them to death. That thing is terrifying.

You know what? Babies are terrifying. What is their deal. They’ve probably been messed up ever since the first person decided to give them caffeine and alcohol.

…So remember. Don’t cook your babies or give them drugs or let them near razors or do anything else the ’50s tell you to.

9 Responses to “More Funny Vintage Ads – Baby Edition”

  1. on 17 Sep 2009 at 2:15 am gia xay dung

    i so great, i’m following yoiu

  2. on 17 Sep 2009 at 9:21 am augmentation poitrine

    Those are weird..yes I agree the babies doesn’t look very cute.

  3. on 29 Sep 2009 at 4:42 pm Danielle

    Looking at these pictures got me thinking about current ads, which, if you think about it, are not much better. Advertisers still wave things in front of us and say buy, buy, buy! And they tell us about all the supposed “breakthrough” studies (like in the first Cola ad. you featured) that support the reason for buying their product; and we eat it up. The only difference between those ads and our present ones is that, after 60 years, we *know* for a fact that the ones from the 1950s are ridiculous.

    For example: Eat Splenda, it’s great for you!
    Don’t eat Splenda, it will kill you, RIGHT NOW!

    It is seriously laughable.

    At this point, these ads are a whole different level of funny, but it just goes to show how wrong we usually are, and how, 60 years down the line, a whole new batch of people will be laughing at the idiocy in our E-cigarette ads.

    Too funny.

  4. […] A smart blogger added an interesting post on Say No to Crack Blog Archive More Funny Vintage Ads Baby EditionHere’s a small excerpt […]

  5. on 20 Oct 2009 at 4:59 am Jazz

    Funny Baby …!

  6. on 21 Oct 2009 at 2:49 am Srinu

    Funny Babies i like babies

  7. on 08 Nov 2009 at 3:32 am momo1903

    cool !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. on 23 Apr 2010 at 12:27 pm Chickielee75

    I love how the sun lamp BLOCKS the BURNING rays and only allows the TANNING ones. Wow. 😀 hahaha

  9. on 23 May 2010 at 2:32 pm sheerhobbit

    I think the Blatz Beer ad is encouraging the young mother to drink beer while nursing the baby, not give alcohol to the baby directly. It is still a ridiculous ad though! Great work.

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