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I’m not good at cellphones. I just am not. I’m mean to them, and I frequently keep them in pockets they apparently hate, judging by their constant attempts to jump out of them and into giant puddles and concrete floors. I’ve resigned myself to keeping only “old person” cell phones – the kind that have giant buttons and three features and the ability to take a beating. Cheap ones. Old ones.

I see ads for things like the iPhone and my mind is filled with terrifying images of me destroying every pretty little aspect of it, from the touch screen (a terrible idea for a phone or anything) to the sleek little casings.

So I see designs for phones like this one

And I realize that there will be no place for me in this new modern world. I have to stick to giant phones so I’m assured I won’t accidentally eat them with a bag of chips…I cannot imagine what terrible things would happen to a clear phone in my house.

I think once my contract expires, I’m going to try to downgrade again. These fancy shmancy incredibly expensive and breakable toys are not for me. No, I’ll definitely have to get one of these.

7 Responses to “Yet another advance that will ruin me”

  1. on 19 Aug 2009 at 3:18 pm Dave

    I know how you feel. My cell phone is old and chunky, and consequently I’m not worried in the slightest if it gets tossed around or dropped. And also maybe it’s just me, but I kind of like technology with big, obvious switches, buttons and dials. There’s something about touch screens that’s just inherently less fun.

  2. on 21 Aug 2009 at 12:52 am Specs

    I read your pain, dude… as the only corporate finance person in my building who has a Nokia 6300 classic (people don’t even steal it if I leave it lying around… they won’t touch it even to hand it over to ‘lost and found’…. I find it in the same place I left it in)

    This crystal one…hahahhaa, I’
    d probably flush it down the toilet or accidentally put it in the washing machine with my laundry. Nope. Too dangerous.

  3. on 21 Aug 2009 at 5:12 pm Danielle

    Haha, I came across the “invisible phone” (that transparent glass phone) about two months ago. Can’t wait to get one, it’ll really feed into my desire to make life more difficult for myself. Score!

    How do companies come up with these things?!

  4. on 25 Aug 2009 at 9:26 pm Emerald

    I have this trouble, but with laptops, not cell phones. After I toasted my last one, my boyfriend sent me money to buy a new one (to keep in touch via msn, long distance, blah blah blah). Less than a year later I’ve fried the keyboard with a full glass of water and have to use a ginormous 1997 plug in keyboard bigger than the laptop itself. It keeps telling me my subscription to Vista has expired and wants more money, and seizes up to the point of requiring a full system reformat about once a month. Next he’s sending me an external harddrive so I at least don’t lose my files when that happens. Who knows how long it’ll take to wreck that too? I have antivirus, antispyware, anti everything! Now I’m just convinced the machines just don’t like me. 😉

  5. on 30 Aug 2009 at 6:26 pm Zanypickle

    I want to buy a phone that is advertised as “Makes AND Takes Phone Calls!!!” It needs two features, ON and RING. It does not need to double as a can opener lol.

  6. on 31 Aug 2009 at 2:20 am Omari Johnson

    I want to buy a smart cellphone which have a two features of storing all received calls and outgoing calls details.

    Thanks & Regards
    Omari Johnson

  7. on 21 Oct 2009 at 2:54 am Srinu

    it is looking cool i like this gadget

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