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How to Make Yourself Happier with TV

TV is another one of those media that permeate our entire existence. How can we get along with TV and maintain a happy life?

Step 1: Stop watching TV

Haha, no but seriously.

…you’re not going to stop, are you. Fine then!

Step 1 alternate: Stop watching so much TV

Better? No? Well forget you!

Step 1 alternate alternate: Stop quoting the TV you watch

Good enough for you? I’m looking at all those schmucks who see something hilarious and have to quote it all the time. This is how genuinely funny groups like Monte Python get run into the ground, by turning something random and creative into something predictable and tiresome. It’s also how you lose friends.

A quote now and again is okay, but if I hear the phrase “That reminds me of this one time on Family Guy” more than three times a night, I sure as heck won’t be inviting you around again.

Fewer invites to fun means more time to sit on the sofa and watch TV. Do you see the vicious circle? Break it. It turns out people don’t want to be friends with someone with the personality of a television. They have televisions for that.

Step 2: Imagine all the Teen TV Shows Were Written As Jokes

Am I the only one made ill by those shows? Those shows with the 27-year-old seniors in high school who evidently have no parents and nothing to do but break the law and make each other miserable? Sometimes the very existence of shows like these can depress people. I mean, just look at their plots! Pretty…laughable, right? Something funny about them. I think it would make everyone feel better if these shows were just the height of ironic parody.


Hah! Ahahahahahahaha! Oh, man, that’s precious. What short of comedy genius could pull this off with a straight face?

No, it’s not serious. It’s a giant joke. Heck, do yourself one more favor and imagine all its raving fans get the joke, and staunchly keep it up, just for even more laughs. They know how silly it is, they’re just playing along.

Also you should stop being friends with those people.

Step 3: Don’t watch the Disney Channel

If I have to tell you why, it’s already too late.

One Response to “SNTC’s Guide to Being Happier, Chapter 2”

  1. on 16 Feb 2009 at 12:02 am anyup

    i like tv, but now Stop watching TV :-)

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