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This is the internet. Many people will try to sell it up as an information highway, a new bridge in communications, a revolutionization of media. But we know it’s purpose is to distract us from doing anything remotely productive.

Yet…sometimes…I just wonder, with all the games in the world available at our fingertips, why some of these games are played, except for the sheer novelty of their existence.

4. Pheasant Hunter

so bad

What?
It is a Duck Hunt knockoff. It is at least eight years old.

How?
You are a 3D animated hunter in the lower left hand screen. The background is a horribly pixelated, stretched-out image of a field with mountains in the back. You let your 2D drawing of a dog loose into the field, where he farts a cloud of birds, which you must then point and click to shoot. You shoot the dog, you lose. If you shoot chickens, you get points but you frustrate the farmer.

And people play it?
Despite the hideous setup and the frustratingly difficult to see thin gray crosshairs against the blocky background, yes, people do play it, if the ever-updating high scores list is to be believed.

3. Don’t Shoot the Puppy

I killed the puppy to make this image

What?
Don’t shoot the puppy.

How?
You’ll figure it out. Sad thing is, there are walkthrus for this game.

And people play it
Yes. They do. Dang it all, they do.

2. Typer Shark

Wait a second…

What?
It’s a Yahoo! game.

How?
The sharks come. On each shark is a word. Type the word before the shark kills you.

And people play it?
Yes, they do. Slap the word “game” on something, and people forget that this is nothing but a slickly-disguised typing exercise. Why waste time on something that is actually productively helping you improve your WPM? What’s next? Spreadsheet Filler – The GAME.

1. Magic Eye Tetris

Oh lord my head.

What?
You know those magic eye pictures, right? You have to cross or reverse cross your eyes to see whatever 3D image lurks amidst the garbled colors.

How?
You cross or reverse cross your eyes to reveal the falling blocks and arrange them in neat orderly rows across the bottom of the box. It’s just like Tetris, except it makes your head hurt overwhelmingly and the playing area is also much thinner than usual, making for an all-around more frustrating game.

And people play it?
Yes, they do. Many have tried to play this game and left with a throbbing headache. Warning: do not play if you value your sight.

Again, the internet is purely for fun and games. But I just can’t help but wonder why people put themselves through such torture just for harmless distraction.

Alright, I’m off to go murder some digital pheasants.

6 Responses to “4 Games I Can’t Believe People Play”

  1. on 17 Jan 2009 at 1:12 am OM

    I mistakenly erased Freecell from my computer, so I thought I’d see what Yahoo games have to offer. Man… It’s like these people at Yahoo can’t do anything right anymore.

    Thankfully Google is catching up with that new favicon. I can’t even look at this thing.

    I miss my Commodore 64.

  2. on 18 Jan 2009 at 11:21 am Dmytro

    I’m not sure about the Magic Eye Tetris above, but people do play Stereogram Tetris a lot – http://hidden-3d.com/games_stereogram_tetris.php

  3. on 19 Jan 2009 at 8:15 pm Rosie

    Ha ha, gotta love the irony that the advertisement beside the magic eye tetris is for laser eye surgery.

  4. on 22 Jan 2009 at 11:51 am DoubleAC

    The don’t shoot the puppy game…well, my curiosity is just too strong, so I had to play through the whole game…geez, I’m bad…

  5. on 27 Jan 2009 at 1:46 pm exinco

    i must try it. look like entertaining

  6. on 28 Jan 2009 at 9:14 am buffyblueflame

    I miss my Commodore 64 haha

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