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Archive for August, 2008

Heading to the beach?

Well, school’s starting again for a lot of people out there (myself included). Before a backup of homework and projects threatens to waste the rest of your warm months, why not head to the beach? Enjoy those last few summery rays! Maybe go snorkeling, or…

maybe build a sandcastle:

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Like this man.

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Or this man.

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Or this woman.

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Who says it needs to be a castle?

For more information about these (and more) amazing sand artists, check this out.

For information on how to build your own sand sculpture, check this out.

This is your winner

Well. You selected your winner.

The image was:

swimming.jpg

And the winning caption is:

“High five! Who’s Gay?” by Virginia

…to which I can only respond, siskoanimated.gif

But honestly, congrats, Virginia, and also congratulations to Frobozz who came in a very close second with “Uh, coach? I have to pee…nevermind.”

Thanks for all the awesome submissions!

Remember to vote!

…For your favorite caption here! I’ve never seen such a low submission-to-vote ratio!

And here’s something interesting I thought you’d like to see after tiring yourself out with all that democracy:

Free Screen Cleaner!

It’s a screen cleaner, and it’s automatic! No more worrying about screen-safe cloths and all that nonsense. Just download this program and let it wash your screen clean:

Or, if you’re a cat person…

Choose a winner…

It’s good old Step 2 of the caption contest. Pick your favorite!

Here’s the picture:
swimming.jpg

And here are your contestants:

1. Alex – “Oh my god it’s full of stars!”

2. John – “Donut! So…close!”

3. Frobozz – “Uh, coach? I have to pee…nevermind.”

4. Schnitzelboi – “Dave Johnson, the first and only casualty of the highly contested and now banned sport of individual synchronized swimming, reaches for the skies, and in his last moments of vitality, mistakes the Olympic rings for the light at the end of the tunnel.”

5. Schnitzelboi – “HALP”

6. ardie – “DAA-DUM! (Jaw’s theme)”

7. Sheldon – ” ‘Double Vision?’ The picture shown is frame number 8, in the filmstrip at the bottom!”

8. Virginia – “High five! Who’s Gay?”

9. CheeseDuck – “Noooo! Come back! I swear I’ll change!”

10. NC – “Swimming For Dummies Tip Number 38# : Don’t mistake Olympic Games Logo for life float in times of distress…”

11. Bunk Strutts – “I CN HAZ POTTY BRAK PLS?”

12. SOMEONETHATKILLS – “Pick Me!”

Is that a threat for votes, or a username, sir?

13. Pancake – “Winning gold in the hologram catching event is no easy task.”

14. Biz – “Even the Nazi’s can put aside their differences during the Olympics.”

Vote for your favorite by posting its number in the comments below! Happy voting!

Olympics Caption Contest!

I know that anything you read here has been taking away from your valuable Olympics-watching time, so here’s a caption contest in the spirit of the summer games!

Caption this:

swimming.jpg

I’m looking forward to what you guys think of this one.

I wish I was this cool as a kid.

One thing not mentioned in the SNTC guide to summer was movies. Summer is one of the best times of year to go and waste the precious sunshine and sit in a dark crowded room in front of a giant projector and watch the latest Hollywood sequel!

But hey, let’s not be too harsh on sequels this year. The Dark Knight. Have you guys seen it yet? Holy cow. It’s pretty intense.

So intense, in fact, that nothing made me happier than this parody…

WHY SO SERIOUS?

Well, the final chapter of SayNoToCrack’s Guide to enjoying Summer is here!

Chapter Last: Activities!

Did you know that there are lots of Activities to take part in during the summer? There are! And with summer rapidly passing by, you’d better get right on it! Aside from picking the berries, eating the food, and admiring the wildlife of summer, here are a few more activities that the summer can offer…

Fairs and Carnivals
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Fairs and carnivals! These celebrations take place during the summer and offer a variety of activities. Risk your life on rickety roller-coasters that have traveled from fair to fair across the state for over twenty years! Try to win oversized stuffed animals in rigged games from shady dealers! Watch various vehicles smash into each other – a lot! Listen to mediocre local talents compete for prizes! Enter a contest! Go hog wild!

Play with Water!
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You can go swimming in the summer! You can fire water guns or throw water balloons! You can run fast and jump down too hard on a slip-n’-slide and hurt yourself on all the rocks you forgot to make sure weren’t there when you laid it down! Get wet! Woohoo!

Star Gazing!
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Try this! Lay on a blanket outside at night and look up! Those sure are stars, aren’t they? Fantastic!

Get Eaten!
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Did you know that all the bugs that want to eat you most of all come out almost exclusively in the summer? Sweet deal! Go outside and see for yourself! And just wait – some bugs don’t want to eat you at all, they just want to dive on your face! Moths, mayflies, dragonflies, golly-whoppers (or skeeter-eaters, if you swing that way), and bees all love to get caught in your hair! It’s true! And ants, centipedes, and ladybugs simply cannot wait to get all over the snacks you love. Party!

Be way too Dang Hot.
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Sweet lord. It’s over 88 degrees Fahrenheit out there. If you jump gently, you can feel yourself become suspended in the gelatin-thick humidity of the air. Sweat and sun. Did you know that your A/C is 100% more likely to break during the summer than any other time?

Can you combat it with lemonade? Water? Sleep? Maybe. But no matter what activity you choose to engage in this summer, you will also be way too dang hot. Hooray for multitasking!

Enjoy the rest of your summer, you crazy kids!

Well, after a brief break, we’re ready to resume our guide to Summer fun! Today’s chapter…

Chapter 4 – Food!

There are so many wonderful summer foods to try! Eat up!

Plants!
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Now is the time to enjoy fruits and vegetables, because they’re growing like crazy! They’re green and leafy and healthy, and they…oh forget it, let’s skip ahead!

Fried Everything!
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Who cares what it is? It’s fried!

More like it! Summer is the time for killing your heart! People fry everything in the summer, and all the best summer foods are fried. Funnel cakes, corn dogs, onion rings, hush-puppies, fried fish, french fries, these are staples. But wait, there’s more! Fried cheesecake, fried oreos, fried snickers! Fried pickles, fried zuccini, fried chicken! And what to wash it down with? Fried cola!

Hear that gentle sobbing? That’s your arteries. Yippee!

Ice Cream!
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The ultimate summer food. It is cold, it is sweet and sticky, it comes in far more flavors than 32, it is perfect. It can even be fried!

What are you waiting for? Fry yourself a big slice of summer today!

Real updates on the way. In the meantime, here is YouTube musician number 3…

I want to believe this is real so much.

I also want to believe that if this were a hoax, they’d have gone for broke and put in fewer wrong notes.