I’m not exactly an Ebay expert under any circumstances, but I have been known to throw in a bid at the occasional item of interest. So I guess I’ve got just enough experience to wonder why, oh why on earth, would anyone believe that selling some of these items would be a profitable idea? And who is buying these things? (In some cases, nobody).

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1. Potato Stewie.

“THIS AUCTION IS FOR A FAMILY GUY STEWIE HEAD CHIP COUPON. YOU CAN SEE IN PICTURE TWO EYES AND NOSE. SAME SHAPE AS STEWIE’S HEAD. (WHICH BY THE WAY IS NOT EDIBLE)”

2. Also inedible, Vintage Gum

“You are bidding on an unopened package of sugarless grape flavored Bubble Yum bubble gum. The gum is rock hard and is not meant for consumption.”

This one assumes the gum is from the ’80s because of the phrase “keeps it poppin’” It is sad how little people remember what the ’90s were capable of. For something TRULY from the ’80s, you can’t compete with currency…

3. $.05! Now for only $1.50 (plus shipping)!

VERY POWERFUL ITEM!! AMAZING!!

EVA’S 1988 NICKEL!!

SHE ALWAYS USED TO CARRY IT WITH HER.

THE POWERFUL SPELLS ON IT ARE FOR TRIPLE MONEY SPELL AND DREAMS COME TRUE SPELL.

OWNED AND CARRIED BY EVA, MY GRANDMA, A REAL EUROPEAN GYPSY.

4. Or, better still, $1 for only $14!!

ONE PERSON I KNOW CARRIED THIS DOLLAR IN THEIR WALLET. THEY WERE UNEMPLOYED AND 2 YEARS LATER WERE MAKING OVER $250,000 PER YEAR. IT WASN’T FROM A LOTTERY OR WINDFALL FROM THE SKY (face it those type of things dont happen very often), BUT IT WAS FROM BEING SHOWN A BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY OUT OF THE BLUE THAT WITH HARD WORK SKYROCKETED. Now, you could say It wasnt from the lucky dollar, but by fate, or chance, but does it hurt to carry a little luck with you.

Somewhere, someone is buying these. I just know it.

But hey. “Lucky Money” is easy to imitate. But you can’t fake the luck of a

5. lucky hairband.

This is my lucky hair band. I have had this hair band for the last 5 years and they have been the luckiest 5 years of my life.

Hey! You should buy that and then you’d have good luck bidding in auctions online! It’s foolproof!

And it wouldn’t be a Karen post without a video, I guess.

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Happy bidding (and happy Memorial Day, American readers).

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