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So. A couple people decide they want to steal some candy from a candy shop after hours. They break the window and enter, fill their pockets and child’s stroller with hundreds of dollars worth of candy, then leave.

Here’s where it’s worse. Remember the cornflake lady? These guys take the same route, only instead of inexplicable, it’s more completely stupid.

They left a trail of candywrappers. This is seriously like something out of the Boxcar Children or something, this seems like Scooby-Doo ought to be the one handling this mess.

“Oh no! Someone has stolen hundreds of dollars worth of candy (instead of hundreds of dollars of money to spend on candy and other things, for whatever reason)! How will we ever catch them!”
“Wait a moment! Keep your eyes peeled…what clues can you spot?”
“Why…of course! Candywrappers! Someone this greedy for candy could not have helped themselves from eating a bit! If we follow these wrappers, we’ll find the suspects!”
“Right you are! Let’s get moving!”

It’s just…depressing. And frankly, I’m less upset by the fact that they dragged the poor baby into their web of crime, than I am by the fact that they just…threw the wrappers on the ground! Incriminating evidence aside…don’t they understand how useful candy wrappers can be? I mean, just have a look!

A fancy dress!

Or, if that’s too formal, a stylish jacket!

And, since she’s dedicated to making her baby do everything she does, baby clothes!

Pair that up with matching accessories, like this clutch (or, if those are too hard for you to keep track of, a bag).

Or, for more subtlety, a bracelet.

Seriously, people! Don’t be so wasteful! That’s the real crime of this story!

6 Responses to “Stealing Candy? Bring your Baby!”

  1. on 15 Apr 2008 at 3:44 pm Mr. Fabulous

    If only everyone would heed your call to action!

  2. on 15 Apr 2008 at 5:00 pm GOD

    yay candy

  3. on 16 Apr 2008 at 2:19 am Freelance Guru

    Oh the Jacket is beautiful!

  4. on 16 Apr 2008 at 3:04 pm TheMaskedAvenger

    OMG! Seriously, how stupid can you get?!?! Lol, great blog btw

  5. on 16 Apr 2008 at 11:52 pm Zillah626

    I wish my parents would have been that willing to get me some dang candy.

  6. on 17 May 2008 at 12:09 am Barbwire

    The handbags, at least, are made by a woman’s coop in Honduras. Check out

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