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Archive for April, 2008

Pick your favorite!

As a reminder, here is the photo we’ll be captioning…
facebite.jpg

And here are the first 18 captions to be submitted. I think the poll we used last time was far too cluttered, so I’m going back to assigning each caption a number. Vote for your favorite by posting its number in the comments! Happy voting (and no cheating, please).

  1. “I smell bacon…” – AmyOops
  2. “Are you deaf?! I don’t wanna catch the darn frisbee anymore!” – Pixie
  3. “I AM….SICK…OF THIS…&%&#….FRISBEE SH*@!” – Tom
  4. “Can you hear me now?” – Andy
  5. “Despite her bad taste in fashion as well as the harrasment from various animal lover groups, Ethel enjoyed her new ear rings.” – Hugo Sparrow
  6. “It was only AFTER Lasik surgery that Mary realized she had a levitating dog stuck to her face for the past 30 years.” – Schnitzelboi
  7. “And one day, Sparky decided that running after endless amounts of frisbees was not worth any amount of milkbones.” – Jeff
  8. “After one critique too many, Daisy shows the trainer her new and improved straddle leap.” – Faith
  9. “Later, Maria realized the folly of wearing the dog treat necklace.” – Heather
  10. “HEADLINE: ‘Dog Trains Woman to ‘Sit’ On Command’ ” – Tom
  11. “O why did i eat 10 boxes of mexacan jumping beans” – GOD
  12. “After an unnerving end to her real bone earrings, woman decides to shop more ethically in the future.” – Sha
  13. “Famous back in the good old 90’s, dangly kibble earrings went out of fashion after several tragic incidents.” – Jefftexas
  14. “Today was not the right day to wear Ode de Cat.” – Finicky Penguin
  15. “Listen…Do you want to know a secret….Do you promise not to tell…” – madbong23
  16. “Fluffy didn’t wanna grow up to catch Frisbees. Fluffy wanted to grow up to be a crocodile…” – jake
  17. “I SAID…..HAVE YOU CHANGED THE BATTERIES IN YOUR HEARING AID LATELY ?!?!?!?” – Andy
  18. Finals Approach: an interpretive dance by dog and trainer.” – Karen

#####

Vote away, fair readers! And good job captioneers, these are some of the best I’ve ever seen.

Caption Contest

facebite.jpg

Before you tell me, I’m already aware the photoshop nature of the photo. But I think it is quite appropriate for a caption contest. I know it hasn’t been that long since our last one, but finals have got me down and it always cheers me up to see the hilarious stuff you guys come up with.

My caption: finals approach: an interpretive dance by dog and trainer.

The Laughter of Babies

Sometimes, a joke will make a person laugh. Sometimes a funny picture or video will. Sometimes a clever song, a dramatic accident, the misfortune of others…nothing is ever guaranteed to make everyone laugh. Except for the sound of babies laughing.

Try to make it through all of these videos without at least chuckling a little. It’s even harder if it’s late at night.

Hahahaha

It’s probably close to this kid’s bedtime, I think…

This baby just might grow up to seek world domination.

Spoons, man.

This kid will grow up to be the ‘distinctive laugh’ guy in all the comedy clubs.

Violence is hilarious!

Wow…did any of you make it all the way through without cracking a smile? Well then prepare to have that icy heart melted with the power of baby laugh times four:

Hoping your day is a little brighter. Mine sure is…there are literally hundreds of laughing baby videos out there from all over the world and sifting through them was far too much fun.

Miracle Herb

I know I spend a lot of time away from you all. I don’t know what the average age/career of the Saynotocrack reader is, but here on my end, I’m a student, and it’s FINALS TIME. I’m sorry, that lacked appropriate tone, let me try again.

It’s
finals.jpg

And so as my brain slowly dissolves into oatmeal and sliiides out my ears, I’ve found myself actually doing research on random things, rather than research on assigned things. This is a new level of procrastination for me.

But my wanderings across the internet have actually led me to a startling discovery. There is a plant, organic, naturally wild, that contains more iron and calcium than spinach, more beta carotene than carrots, and tons of vitamins and minerals, as well as being good for your liver and having antioxidant effects. Can you guess what it is?

Dandelions.

dandelions.jpg
These things.

These blights of lawn care are actually healthier than most vegetables that you have to pay money for at the grocery store, and they grow wild and free, everywhere. Turns out they can be turned into salads, soups, pasta, tea, wine, fritters, literature…they’re these incredible herbs and everyone hates them! They scorn them, they try and weed them out!

Can you believe it?

Yes, because they taste horrible. Instead, we should all enjoy nicer, tastier foods like these…

this…is what finals do to me.

A lesson in Sequels

Remember Charlie the Unicorn? Remember how it was pretty much funny mostly if you’re in the right mood for it?

There’s a sequel now.

I’m so sorry.

The lesson? Don’t make a sequel to something that was ok unless you originally planned on making a sequel.

More Crazy 911 Calls!

And, even nicer, all condensed into a single video, and not many.

So. A couple people decide they want to steal some candy from a candy shop after hours. They break the window and enter, fill their pockets and child’s stroller with hundreds of dollars worth of candy, then leave.

Here’s where it’s worse. Remember the cornflake lady? These guys take the same route, only instead of inexplicable, it’s more completely stupid.

They left a trail of candywrappers. This is seriously like something out of the Boxcar Children or something, this seems like Scooby-Doo ought to be the one handling this mess.

“Oh no! Someone has stolen hundreds of dollars worth of candy (instead of hundreds of dollars of money to spend on candy and other things, for whatever reason)! How will we ever catch them!”
“Wait a moment! Keep your eyes peeled…what clues can you spot?”
“Why…of course! Candywrappers! Someone this greedy for candy could not have helped themselves from eating a bit! If we follow these wrappers, we’ll find the suspects!”
“Right you are! Let’s get moving!”

It’s just…depressing. And frankly, I’m less upset by the fact that they dragged the poor baby into their web of crime, than I am by the fact that they just…threw the wrappers on the ground! Incriminating evidence aside…don’t they understand how useful candy wrappers can be? I mean, just have a look!

A fancy dress!
dress.jpg

Or, if that’s too formal, a stylish jacket!
jacket.jpg

And, since she’s dedicated to making her baby do everything she does, baby clothes!
clothes.jpg

Pair that up with matching accessories, like this clutch (or, if those are too hard for you to keep track of, a bag).
purse.jpg
handlepurse.jpg

Or, for more subtlety, a bracelet.
bracelet.jpg

Seriously, people! Don’t be so wasteful! That’s the real crime of this story!

Happy Postaversary.

So! One year! I’ve been posting here at SayNoToCrack for a whole year now, and I must say, it’s been a load of fun and I’m looking forward to more.

Lessons I’ve learned in my year at SNTC:

LOLanimals never stop being awesome to some people (like me).

Apparently there are people who, unlike me, don’t feel awesome about watching a ton of internet videos.

Disliking the Newsboys is the same as liking obscene rap music. Whaddaya know.

People may not have the time to read an entire post, but they sure as heck have the time to post a comment letting you know that they don’t have time to read your entire post.

A post about meat hats is just fashion forward enough to have people asking you to link to their fashion website.

Gday,

Noticed that this page on your site had a lot of useful resources on clothing.
[link]

Would you consider including [my fashion website] link?

It could serve as a useful link since it has some relation to the page.*

A person may post and ask me to contact them, but they’ll still give me a false e-mail address to prevent all the SPAM I’m not sending nor even know how to send.

People who read this are clever, clever fiends.

Thanks for making the year good clean fun, everybody. Happy springtime for those northern-hemisphereans out there! I have a 10 page paper to be writing!

*I haven’t written him back. Not entirely sure what to say.

Funny PSAs

Parody is comedy gold. Nothing is quite as funny as a well-executed satire. And there are few targets quite as fun as Public Service Announcements. Here’s a handful of my favorite PSA videos to be found on the internet.

#1 -Snuggling. I like this, it’s a clever idea…they just took it waaaay too long.
What if they hog the blanket?

#2 – Cooties. I love this one because of nostalgia.

#3 – Guns don’t kill people. The Undead do.

#4 & #5, Lowcarbcomedy. These guys’ humor isn’t always clean enough for SNTC, but their PSAs always make me smile.

Yeah, like a Farm Silo.

BORN TO BE ALIVE.

#4

Have you seen these guys?

Right now I’m having trouble just organizing my closet for spring cleaning. I can’t even imagine the trouble it must take for these guys to organize their events so wonderfully.

Improv Everywhere has been around for a long time, so I’m not even going to pretend that this is hip and new. But it occurs to me that some of you may never have heard of them, and you deserve to be in the know.

Basically, a group of people, sometimes big, sometimes small, will act out a scene. Picture a flash mob, except awesome. With characters, storylines, and a whole heaping helping of tripping everyone out.

They’re like so many elaborate pranks you’ll find on the internet, but with an exception. They’re not aimed at anyone specifically; they’re aimed at everyone. And they aren’t mean spirited or meant to embarrass, but meant to make a person think and learn, reconsider the ordinary, and have a brighter day.

Or, just to make a group of people work together for a stranger.

They’ve done some incredible things and I’m going to encourage you all to take a while and read about some of their missions. Maybe some of you live nearby them and might want to be involved. For your pleasure, a video.

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