To Whom it May Concern:
I would like to make it clear that I do understand that it is winter and, traditionally, winter is cold. But I would submit that this cold winter idea is archaic and unnecessary. I think it’s time for a re-vote. I think even should the public choose to maintain the chill for three to four months of the year, they will all agree that by February, it’s just about time for these deep snows to cease. I have detailed below five reasons the late-winter snowfalls that have occurred again this year should seriously be reconsidered for future winters.
Stop this now. It’s getting old.
1) School. These late snows shut schools down, which seems fine, but the semester just started and the last thing I need is to be stuck in my house with nothing to do for even longer.
2) Health. I’m not sure if the snow made me sick or not, but just to be safe, we should discontinue late snows to prevent similar illnesses from ever happening again. To be fair, if administration stops the snow, I’ll stop eating eggs of dubious age, even if they do float in water…or were they supposed to sink?
Yeah maybe not the best thing to put in my stomach.
3) My car. It’s been two days since the snow and my car is still completely buried. C’mon.
4) It’s not even that cool anymore. In the first few weeks of winter, snows are awesome. But we get it now. The ground is white! You can’t walk on it without sinking knee deep! Your pants get all wet around the ankles unless you buy boots!
5) I need to do laundry. How am I supposed to get to the laundromat like this? I’m dangerously low on underwear here!
To conclude, thanks for running the weather. I mean, I don’t want to backseat drive or tell you how to do your job, but…just who approves this kind of cold anyway? I hear administration is tossing around a ‘global warming’ idea. Sounds like a real step forward. Go with that.