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To Whom it May Concern:

I would like to make it clear that I do understand that it is winter and, traditionally, winter is cold. But I would submit that this cold winter idea is archaic and unnecessary. I think it’s time for a re-vote. I think even should the public choose to maintain the chill for three to four months of the year, they will all agree that by February, it’s just about time for these deep snows to cease. I have detailed below five reasons the late-winter snowfalls that have occurred again this year should seriously be reconsidered for future winters.

Stop this now. It’s getting old.

1) School. These late snows shut schools down, which seems fine, but the semester just started and the last thing I need is to be stuck in my house with nothing to do for even longer.

2) Health. I’m not sure if the snow made me sick or not, but just to be safe, we should discontinue late snows to prevent similar illnesses from ever happening again. To be fair, if administration stops the snow, I’ll stop eating eggs of dubious age, even if they do float in water…or were they supposed to sink?

Yeah maybe not the best thing to put in my stomach.

3) My car. It’s been two days since the snow and my car is still completely buried. C’mon.

4) It’s not even that cool anymore. In the first few weeks of winter, snows are awesome. But we get it now. The ground is white! You can’t walk on it without sinking knee deep! Your pants get all wet around the ankles unless you buy boots!

5) I need to do laundry. How am I supposed to get to the laundromat like this? I’m dangerously low on underwear here!

To conclude, thanks for running the weather. I mean, I don’t want to backseat drive or tell you how to do your job, but…just who approves this kind of cold anyway? I hear administration is tossing around a ‘global warming’ idea. Sounds like a real step forward. Go with that.

Respectfully yours,


8 Responses to “An Open Letter Concerning the Snow”

  1. on 03 Feb 2008 at 2:55 am Momma Nature

    Thank you for your time to give us your comments. We’ll consider your sugestion for the comming 2035-2036 winter season.

  2. on 03 Feb 2008 at 9:54 am Cham

    I’m intrigued. I assume you are going to use the post office to mail this out. To where are you going to send the letter?

  3. on 03 Feb 2008 at 12:01 pm GOD

    I live In North Carlina and we get snow may be one every 2-3 winters i came form Colorado and it snowed alot their so i do not agree with you about the snow(it is just plan cool)

  4. on 03 Feb 2008 at 1:25 pm Finicky Penguin

    Al Gore has no idea what he is talking about. It’s just the routine climate change. In a few years, most snow will be in December, thus stopping large amounts of late snow. WOW. That is a long comment on my part. 😆

  5. on 03 Feb 2008 at 6:00 pm Hugo Sparrow

    I have an idea-what about you subscribe to winter much like you would subscribe to different cable services-that way you can have as much or little snow as you desire….think about it.

  6. on 04 Feb 2008 at 6:53 am sarahenity

    they’re trialling the global warming idea here in Australia… it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

  7. on 04 Feb 2008 at 10:50 am face_the_strange

    Hello, just found your website! Very, very entertaining writing and links! Thanks.

  8. on 05 Feb 2008 at 5:27 pm Jacques

    I like snow. I like Al Gore too. i do not like global warming because we get too much freezing rain. I hates freezing rain. Freezing rain is like George Bush to Al Gore’s lovely snowfall. Fsck freezing rain.

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