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A trail of corncrumbs.

I always enjoy a good laugh over those crazy stories of dumb criminals being their self-sabotaging selves, but this one is probably the best I’ve heard in a long time.

She didn’t sign her name somewhere. She didn’t leave her picture. She wasn’t spotted by lots of people trying to sneak away with her stolen treasures under the cover of daylight. No no. She left a literal trail all the way to her door.

A trail of cornflakes.

cornflakes.jpg
These.

After stealing some cash and flowers from a florist’s “till” which is British for something, I’m guessing, to do with florists. Anyhow, she stole some flowers and money and tipped over a…box, I’m guessing, of cornflakes. The details here are sketchy though. Maybe she thought she’d pour herself a big golden bowl? Or perhaps there was a bowl there? I’m beginning to wonder anew what a “till” is and what corn flakes are doing there. But, it’s just as well.

Because the crook knocked over the cornflakes, and then…rolled around in them, or shoved handsfull of them into her shirt or pockets or hair or something, or grabbed up an arm-load and tossed them around like confetti in celebration of her successful heist. Whatever she did, it resulted in a cornflake trail for over 300 yards to her door, where cops found flowers and money.

I used to be a messy eater when I was a kid. Crumbs were my enemy. But 300 yards? 300. Wow.

I have no more words.

14 Responses to “A trail of corncrumbs.”

  1. on 06 Jan 2008 at 8:11 pm Amie

    A till is a cash register in England :)

  2. on 06 Jan 2008 at 8:19 pm Dave

    A till is a cash register. I thought it was a pretty wide-spread term, though – we use it in Canada all the time.

  3. on 06 Jan 2008 at 8:22 pm Karen

    well there you have it. Thanks!

  4. on 06 Jan 2008 at 9:14 pm GOD

    “till” is a cash box
    and i love corn flakes mmmmmmmm

  5. on 06 Jan 2008 at 10:19 pm prying1

    300 yards?

    1 football field (American game not the Soccer game) is 100 Yards. – Three football fields? I should think the pigeons would have disrupted the trail…

    I gotta wonder about this one. Don’t they use meters instead of yards and feet across the pond?

  6. on 07 Jan 2008 at 10:44 am wb

    The cash register is the till. I’ve lived in the Northwest USA all my 5 decades and have heard that word used my whole life as interchangeable with cash register (or whatever box the cashier puts money into and makes change from).

    Yards and meters are similar in length, with the meter being just a few inches longer than a yard, so you can pretty much equate yards and meters.

  7. on 07 Jan 2008 at 11:44 am Steph

    Anybody who has ever worked retail or food services in the US knows that a till is your cash register. I.e; At the end of your shift, you count out your till to make sure it matches up with the sales report.

  8. on 07 Jan 2008 at 2:06 pm Jasmine Rose

    Yes, they use meters on this side of the pond. Except the UK, that is!

  9. on 07 Jan 2008 at 3:43 pm Karen

    Haha, well, Steph, I’ve worked both retail and food services in the US and was still at a loss for a definition. Perhaps it’s just my state/portion of US.

  10. on 08 Jan 2008 at 12:38 am UhHuh

    Cornflakes are a cereal. Hoping your story turns out to be a serial too :)

  11. on 08 Jan 2008 at 5:38 pm Ames

    300 yards… kind of puts Raisin Bran’s “two scoops” to shame.

  12. on 09 Jan 2008 at 1:52 pm Jacques

    I’d just like to point out that we use metres on this side of the farkin’ pond too (look up, well north :) Funnily enough though, most of us still refer to height/weight using imperial measures. Except for the younguns, I have no idea how tall my son is :)

    FWIW, till is common here in Quebec too.

  13. on 12 Jan 2008 at 8:02 pm Finicky Penguin

    300, you say?

    THIS. IS. CORN FLAKES!

  14. on 17 Oct 2009 at 10:21 pm ferrets

    Huh, till is one of those words I can skim over and understand, but when asked the meaning I have no clue. Cash register makes sense I suppose. CORNFLAKES AT THE FLORIST, WOO!

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