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Merry Christmas, Moscow

This Christmas night, the children in Moscow had better jump in bed and cover their heads and hope that nobody’s awake and out of doors, because

THE WOLF-BOY MAY ATTACK.

what?
This came up in a search for “wolf boy.” I’m not really sure either.

Apparently some rescuers found a boy out in the woods, freezing, hungry, and alone. He cannot speak, he does not respond to calls. He apparently was literally raised by wolves, exhibiting wolf-like behavior and snapping and biting at health care workers.

A sad story, by the looks of it. But I detect something sinister. I mean…wild children do turn up…but what kind of crazy smart, ninja-ly undetectable creature can escape from a health care facility without even being able to pretend to be human (they say the boy walked hunched over and did not respond to any language or calls)? Perhaps this is more than a boy raised by wolves. This might be a real WOLF MAN DEMON!!

“The boy looks about ten – but after tests conducted by Moscow medics, they believe he maybe much older.” How about hundreds of years older, Moscow medics?

And now he’s spirited himself out of the hospital and begins his terrible blood-soaked reign over the children of Moscow. What have we unleashed?!

“”He’s clearly dangerous to other people,” the article says some guy said. “…It’s quite possible he is a [danger] with psychological problems but also a source of viruses and infections.”

Viruses and infections? Or SOUL STEALING AND MURDER?!

I’m thinking of a dark Christmas for Russia.

3 Responses to “Merry Christmas, Moscow”

  1. on 23 Dec 2007 at 7:49 pm Finicky Penguin

    What a coincidence! I’m heading to Russia after Christmas on a young-boy-who-was-raised-by-wolves hunting trip.

  2. on 23 Dec 2007 at 10:05 pm GOD

    lol think its just a lie good old USSR is just wanting some one to care about her agan

  3. on 31 Dec 2007 at 9:45 pm Pete Aldin

    Ah, look at the little wolf-boy, isn’t he cute … come here boy, kootchie kootchie …

    ARGGGGGGGGGRHHHHHHHHHHHHRHHHHHHHGHHHHHH! SOMEONE HELP ME! NOOOOOOOO…

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