Subscribe Now!How to Annoy People.
October 4th, 2007 by Karen
You know, I always thought that, working in stores like I have and do, people were far too good at being annoying. Like, it was almost too fantastically horrible. I suspected they rehearsed it, or that there was some kind of hand-book. Or instructional videotape. Or list of ideas for annoying people with annoyer’s block.
I was right. There it is.
Hightlights:
177. Tell people their fly is down when they’re wearing sweat pants.
178. Stand on a busy corner. Gasp, look and point up. See how many people look.
179. At random times in a conversation, say “Hi,” “Hello Sir, how are you?” or “Have a good day, thank you.”
180. Put electrical tape over the headlights of someone’s car.
Now you know! You’ve got the secret in your hands! You can bust the schemes of the annoying right open! The very second you see someone about to do something annoying you can save them the trouble: “Hey, pal. I’ve seen this before. Move along and get some new material.”
…if only life were like that. But hey. Let’s make our own list. I’ll kick it off with number 1:
1) Go to class with a cold. Sniff loudly and frequently, despite a full pack of tissues in front of you.
“
Call everyone “champ” or “tiger” and insist that they call you “coach.”
Start a conversation with someone taking a dump in a bathroom stall. Anything like, “Hey - how’s it going in there?”…or…”What color you got?”
That should do it nicely.
http://www.bored.com/getannoyed/index.htm
’nuff said. :O
Next time you have a cold, go into the communal kitchen at work, lick all of the cutlery, and place it back in the drawer.
Sharing is fun!
Eat spicy chile before an international flight.
How about you invite your skint friends to the pub with promises of a free pint, then let them sit and watch you slowly sip your delicious pint of Guinness.
Post what you think is a clever comment on a favorite website, then repost it.
Post what you think is a clever comment on a favorite website, then repost it.
Post what you think is a clever comment on a favorite website, then repost it.
Hit the submit button three times in impatience.