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Archive for August, 2007

Quantity for Quality

I’ve tried to veer away from posting things that come in series’ like cartoons, because…well, the average bear doesn’t show up to a website that he/she checks regularly to be handed a brand new website to be checked regularly, right?

Luckily, this series is finished. And it is wonderful.

The owner of this website made a goal for himself: complete 200 comics (of questionable quality) in as little time as possible. I think this took him a few days. It actually is a great project, for you aspiring artists out there: stewing over making one thing perfect will make you less talented than the person who makes a lot of things badly in an attempt to get better. and actually, a lot of these things rock my world:

i didn’t order snake.

Check that out. Put it in your brain. Learn a lesson.

I can’t help myself.

So this is old news. Like, oooollllddd news. The internet has moved on past it. And yet…the fact that it hasn’t appeared here at SayNoToCrack, bothers me a little.

And the fact that it’s here now, can bother you a little. Because I cannot move on with my life until I’m sure every one of you guys has seen…

THE DRAMATIC CHIPMUNK.

I know it’s not a chipmunk…I’m pretty sure it’s a prairie dog, although other websites have called it a “marmot.” I don’t know. BUT LOOK HOW DRAMATIC IT IS. And, much like with the Dear Sister affair, it was only a matter of time before the internet responded with an entire ton of dramatic chipmunk parodies. A few worth mentioning:

Go ahead and look more up, if you choose…there are more of these than stars in the sky. Or…more of them than there are of other videos.

Baby Signs

This weekend was a pretty big weekend here at SNTC … Anita had a healthy little baby boy on Friday morning (a few weeks early, but both her and the baby are doing well). Rather than taking her leave as an excuse to post my nerd ramblings, I figured I’d share a few kid themed pics.

From what I’ve been told, maternity wards should come with warning signs like these (and some homes with kids under 3 should probably be plastered with them as well):

Splatter Zone

OK, some kids are pretty annoying, but I’d probably wear a t-shirt into this coffeeshop that read “Free rabid raccoon to anyone giving my kid espresso or puppies”:

Free Puppy

Finally, doesn’t everyone want a one year old that looks like this after a year?

Michelin Baby

That’s almost a spitting image of Anita’s first baby at 12 months, except he had blonde hair, and wasn’t asian, and had a few more rolls, oh … and he liked Firestone tires much more than Michelin.

Bad music, Good athletes

So. I’m back at school and back on the internet (for a moment) and in my inbox there is this. And it is wonderful.

It always frustrates me when people establish themselves as one thing, then suddenly decide that entitles them to a huge following in another arena. I’m not so much mad at these athletes…because…it’s too hilarious. But actors turned musicians, or worse, musicians turned actor; athletes turned actor are almost always going to disappoint, and I always feel a little weird about actors becoming major political figures. I mean, I guess it worked for Reagan, but…

But then I suppose I can’t begrudge anyone the attempt to cross over into other paths, because sometimes, it’s far too priceless.

These can’t be real

I just don’t want to believe that they are.

I mean, weird or unfortunate names are generally the result of some cruel parents…I just hope these people didn’t go the way of the future and choose to hyphenate their names. I think these news announcements would be enough, right?

poor sap is right

yeah.

But it’s not like they’re real, right? Somebody tell me these are clever photoshops, so I can rest easy.

Dear Mr. Prime…

I can’t tell you why I find this letter from Geico to Optimus Prime regarding his insurance policy so funny, but I really, really do.

“Mr. Prime, I am going to remind you again: Your policy with GEICO only reimburses you for accidents that occur while you are engaged in the reasonable use of your truck and trailer. As I told you when you originally purchased the policy, GEICO does not offer Megatron coverage, Starscream coverage, Soundwave coverage, Decepticon coverage, or Energon-blast coverage.”

Dag, man. I’m going to have to remember that.

Speaking of Geico, though…for all you who are familiar with the various commercials currently on the air…the British gecko, and the disgruntled caveman, keep your eye on ABC, because those cavemen are going to be appearing in their own sitcom.

Heaven help us. For all you unfamilliar with the cavemen, or in need of a reminder, here:

The commercial series continues as the caveman takes various steps to have the advertisements removed, and deal with his disappointment at how difficult it is to get any respect.

So, what do you think? A series based on an advertisement: will it a) never even make it on the air, b) make it on, but get cancelled within a week, c) make it, get its times switched around for a few weeks, then fade into cancelled oblivion without anyone noticing, or d) actually be a hit?

I think B, but it really would warm my heart if this somehow overcame all odds and was actually good.

UPDATE: Once again, we received lots of great captions for this picture:

Woman in Elephant

You can see all submissions at the contest page, but here are my 7 favorite captions. Vote for yours at the bottom, or feel free to comment on one you liked better.

Finalists:

That’s the problem with eating Chinese, half an hour later you’re hungry again. – yf

I said no tongues! – Anonymoose

Outside of elephants, books were her favorite interest. Inside of elephants … well, it was just too dark to read. – gr

The day Marie quit the zoo. – Alpaca the Awesome

I don’t know what this elephant ate, but he’s throwin’ up a Chinese lady! – Chase

Betty Rubble: This is the last time I agree to fix the shower…Cori

I guess you’re right. Your tongue is longer than my face. – Kaitlan

Whose provided the best caption?
Total Votes: 655 Started: August 14, 2007 Back to Vote Screen

One of my online buddies must have known I needed a pick me up, because she basically told me to use an old DOS command shell and do this:

Happy and you know it

Geeky parents out there who grew up with DOS (like myself), might actually be sleep deprived and demented enough to think this was funny. I even did it twice and sang along.

To the vast majority of readers who are probably scratching their heads wondering why they just wasted 15 seconds reading this, all i can say is: syntax error, please insert disk in drive A:.

Want to try it yourself? I used the FreeDos EmulatorThanks Gabrielle for the idea!

The best answers

You know, when I didn’t know an answer to a test or quiz in school, I would usually just leave it blank, or make an educated guess.

Now I wish I could be like these brilliant people and just write something funny. Then I could at least be proud of my answer.

no, it’s in the way

Though, when pressed by professors to write a paper comparing the social views of Miller and Thoreau, I wrote a two-paragraph introduction about the superiority of candy. And I still got an A. That’s something to be proud of.

I’ve always thought Adobe Photoshop was easily the best desktop art software ever created, but after seeing the following video I’ve realized that I’ve been stifling my creativity and productivity. After the intro, prepare to be amazed with some of the demos:


(if you can’t see the video, click here)

Now, in all seriousness, a few people are EXTREMELY skilled with “The World’s Greatest Art Program”. For instance, the following painting was made with it in “only” 500 hours (by diamonster):

MS Paint Venice

As was this video:

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

Impressive, but maybe I’ll just stick with Photoshop. This other program just looks too high tech and powerful for me.

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