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Archive for July, 2007

I’ve received quite a few passive aggressive notes in my day, especially from my last house mate, and it’s never fun. It’s frustrating, and childish, and it makes me wonder why spoken words are so difficult.

Reading passive aggressive notes written to other people, however, is absolute comedy gold.

Here are a few of my favorites from this absolutely brilliant archive:

Gross sponge?  No more!
This one’s actually pretty similar to the one my ex-roomy left me, except we had a dishwasher so I’m not sure what her deal was.

We all deserve a drink…
I post this one not because it is terribly funny, but because I feel the need to heap more attention on the nation’s shocking lack of any innovative technology in the way of self-replenishing refrigerators.

Tacky!
Seriously, man! TACKY.

Seriously.
This one is great because of the Christmas Spirit-y, decorative stationary.

And lastly, happy 4th of July to the American readers out there. Enjoy your fireworks and barbecues and ice cream and everything.

Tying the Untieable Knot

Here are some pretty neat instructions on how to quickly create a knot that’s virtually untieable … perfect for pranks:

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

Sure, the constructor knot is meant for boats and other heavy-duty uses … but you’ll probably have much more fun if you use it to tie a friend’s shoes together.

So let’s say you’ve met your end somehow…run over by an ice cream truck, maybe, or choked on a pretzel, or had a heart attack after winning a sausage eating contest. Ever think about what happens after?

No, not afterlife. I mean to your shuffled off mortal coil! Mingle2 has this super-weird Cadaver Calculator to find out approximately how much your family would receive if they decided to sell your body to science! The corpse value is determined by your overall health. I thought it was fun, here’s my score:

$5125.00The Cadaver Calculator – Find out how much your body is worth

Mingle2

Woo hoo!

Water Butt PumpWhile reading through comments over at Neatorama, I saw a reference to a “Water Butt Pump”. Curiousity immediately befell me, and I found myself unable to resist clicking.

What popped up was the picture to the left … something I’d NEVER consider putting anywhere near my posterior. To make matters more confusing, the first visible text was a comment by a happy customer claiming to have been “absolutely gobsmacked at the excellent standard of delivery service” regarding the Water Butt Pump.

Gobsmacked? Butt Pumps? Oh my! Thankfully, it appears that the Water Butt Pump is some type of completely innocuous product for horses in the UK. Can someone please teach the British how to speak English?

Cows have…accents?

It’s true! Possibly!

Scientists have noticed that cows from different herds moo with different dialects, depending on where they’re from. Some believe it has to do with their families or breeding, and some think…peer pressure causes the differences between these moo-ings.

But I say, cows of the world, stand up against peer pressure! Use your own voice proudly and do not change for anyone! Moove to the beat of your own drummer! YOU CAN DANCE IF YOU WANT TO.

…I’m so sorry.

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