Subscribe Now!

Archive for July, 2007

An old favorite.

Nowadays, most comedians fill their routines with swearing and crude jokes, because it’s very easy to get people to laugh at it, but every now and again, one stand-up comedian rocks your socks off, and is safe for your whole family (without being a kiddy show)

Victor Borge! I love this guy, and while he’s no longer around, these skits will remain some of the cleverest darn things I’ve ever seen. Thought I’d share with those who’d never seen them, and remind those who have (once again, YouTube embeds are being fussy for me):

Inflationary language.

The embed option was actually disabled on this video, Phonetic Punctuation, but it’s too good not to share.

And, of course, justice could not be done to Mr. Borge unless I shared a musical skit as well (the man was a musical genious).

By all means, check out some of his other skits on various video sites, they’re all worth a view or two or several.

Easy does it there Charlie

Looks like Prince Charles might be in a little bit of trouble tonight:

Prince Charles Grab

Isn’t that how he met Camilla? I almost made this a caption contest, but realized the temptation to write overboard raunchy comments would probably be too great. Thanks to Greg McQuaig for the pic.

Smurf Village Mushroom

After bringing joy to children for almost 50 years, the Smurfs have met a sad end. A Mexican coffee farmer stumbled on the Smurf Village near the border with Guatemala, and promptly pulled all their mushroom houses to sell as souvenirs.

While there is no official news regarding the fate of the Smurfs, Jose Gargamel (the farm’s owner) issued this statement:

“We are deeply saddened by the loss of Smurf Village. We aren’t able to offer further information on the Smurfs’ whereabouts at this time, but we have begun producing lifelike Smurf snacks to satisfy the massive demand for information and Smurf products. These one-of-a-kind Smurfs, er … lookalikes, are exactly three apples high, chocolate covered, and very high in protein.

Please direct any questions to our processing department.”

via Yahoo News

The Perfect Use for an iPhone

Even if you love the iPhone, you are probably tired of the constant buzz regarding Apple’s newest “innovation”. If so, what better use for an iPhone than to subject it to another over-hyped product – the BlendTec blender:

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

Next up: CEO Tom Dickson will blend a Boeing 787 Dreamliner right before your eyes. In true BlendTec fashion, Tom will put the tip of the 787 in the blender, turn it on, have the camera pan away for a few seconds, then pan back to view Tom standing in a giant room covered in grayish powder.

Yesterday’s fun with old cigarette ads inspired me to continue, broadening my search to just any old ad — any old ad that’s really weird. As it turns out, no website on the internet is big enough to contain the amount of weirdness in the advertising world.

INFECTIOUS DANDRUFF
OH NOEZ IT’S INFECTIOUS DANDRUFF YOU ARE NOT WELCOME IN MY HOME.

hypno-jam
This is so frightening. Look at her eyes! I can’t…look…away……from the…hypnotizing…fruit spread…

fancy batteries!
Because when I think “fancy” I think “batteries”…and also “man with his hand over his head looking up at…something…”

OMG WHAT IS THIS
So good, it’ll melt your pasty white face right off!

ouch
Pear’s Soap: It’ll crush your babies!

it’ll solve all your problems.  seriously.
Once my house burned down and my dog ran away and lightning ruined my car and I lost all my hair. Then, someone gave me a plastic harmonica. It was all I needed.

give yourself the finger.
You know what? I’m not even going to touch this one. This one is to look at and think about and not talk about. If you post a comment taking the obvious joke, I’ll lose respect for you forever, and write you out of my will. It’s a gum massager. That’s all.

Oh, advertisements. What are you doing to me.

Old Cigarette Ads

Cleaning through a neighbor’s old house turned up a lot of interesting things: old bottles, toys, newspapers, and magazines. Most interesting were the magazines from over thirty years ago. They still had cigarette ads in them, and I thought, jeez, this is some crazy stuff. One quick search later, and I discovered that some old cig ads were really over the top:

Um…
Yeah! All the good things cigarettes do for you! Like lung disease! And cancer!

babies and cigs!  hooray!
Yeah, dad! Thanks for smoking! I love developing asthma!

chickens lay fresh eggs!  cigarettes are good for you!
Not one, but TWO layers of cellophane! So it’s fresh! Like…eggs?

blow.jpg
Right. If a man blew smoke into my face, I’d sure follow him anywhere. With a steak knife.

wow.
Not sure how well you can read this one, but it suggests that every puff of smoke cleans itself. Which is pretty much a lie, but check out the cute kitty cleaning itself, like the lying smoke!

Heh…a man kept a dog with no legs. He named it Cigarette, because every night he took it out for a drag.

I’m so sorry.

Smoking is bad for you, kids. No matter what the lady in the white powdered wig says.

Uh ooohhz!

That’s right! Even more lolpics! Since I exhausted my personal collection of “Invisible” lolcat images, I thought I’d share a few of the cuter “i has a” series:

i has!
This one is by far my favorite. So cute, my head exploded a little bit.

bunny!!
I wants a bunny.

mmm…karot…
Cats aren’t the only ones who has things.

shuvel1.jpg

Okay! I’ll stop now!

Mean Cuppa Joe

Yea, though I walk through the valley of java, I fear no evil, because I refuse to pony up $5 or more clams for a simple cup of coffee, unless, of course, it looks like this:

Evil Latte

Knock one of these down Monday morning and you’ll be chewing coat hangers until Friday afternoon. More “Latte Art” can be found at Oddee.

Ah HA! HA HA!!

HA! SO…Imagine my absolute joy when I find out that this…this latest Avril Lavigne monster, “girlfriend,” this giant piece of ear-garbage cluttering up the radio waves at my workplace (as if it wasn’t an unbearable enough job) is coming back to bite her!

HA.

I mean, it’s a childish, moronic song that a person older than thirteen has no right to sing. What gets me most is the fact that Miss Lavigne writes this and then continues to calls herself Punk…though I’m pretty sure any punktential a person has goes directly out the window the very nanosecond she even ponders calling herself a “mother-censored princess,” let alone sings it in a song that will be heard, sadly, by so many.

I’m not a huge punk fan, but it once had a message, a meaning, a purpose once…now? Hey, hey, you, you, I wanna be your girlfriend.

I weep for punk.

But enough of me! Check this out:

Lavigne gets sued.

And, for some reason, YouTube embeds don’t seem to be working for me. Here’s the video, sorry.

I knew I’d heard it! I knew it! If you’ll recall, I compared the song to something the Olsen twins might have sung once, when they were nineish or younger, but I wasn’t going back far enough.

Oh awesome. I really, really, really hope she loses this lawsuit, and then, oh delicious happiness, must remove the song from the airwaves. And then, peace on earth.

Fishy Faces

Hi, my name is Al, I normally work behind the scenes on SNTC (doing databases, admin tasks and other boring stuff like that) but I thought these pics were worthy of a mention and post.

fish1.jpg

fish2.jpg

fish3.jpg

fish4.jpg

fish5.jpg

Thanks Summer.

« Prev - Next »