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Yesterday’s fun with old cigarette ads inspired me to continue, broadening my search to just any old ad — any old ad that’s really weird. As it turns out, no website on the internet is big enough to contain the amount of weirdness in the advertising world.


This is so frightening. Look at her eyes! I can’t…look…away……from the…hypnotizing…fruit spread…

fancy batteries!
Because when I think “fancy” I think “batteries”…and also “man with his hand over his head looking up at…something…”

So good, it’ll melt your pasty white face right off!

Pear’s Soap: It’ll crush your babies!

it’ll solve all your problems.  seriously.
Once my house burned down and my dog ran away and lightning ruined my car and I lost all my hair. Then, someone gave me a plastic harmonica. It was all I needed.

give yourself the finger.
You know what? I’m not even going to touch this one. This one is to look at and think about and not talk about. If you post a comment taking the obvious joke, I’ll lose respect for you forever, and write you out of my will. It’s a gum massager. That’s all.

Oh, advertisements. What are you doing to me.

20 Responses to “…And on the topic of old ads…”

  1. on 11 Jul 2007 at 5:03 am nessa

    These are very scary.

  2. on 11 Jul 2007 at 11:08 am Melissa

    I keep my gums in my pants?

  3. on 11 Jul 2007 at 3:08 pm froggywoogie

    I’m sure the last item had quite some success: some people must have suddenly felt the urge to take care of their gums.

  4. on 11 Jul 2007 at 3:20 pm LindaF

    Wow it actually looks like a finger too!

  5. on 12 Jul 2007 at 1:09 am MG

    That one guy in the chocolate (?) ad looks like a vampire clown, and the little girl looks like the Bad Seed!

  6. on 12 Jul 2007 at 6:57 am John

    My gums respond better when the finger is 8 inches long and Black.

  7. on 12 Jul 2007 at 8:31 am Thorn

    That little girl looks very predatory. Like the thing spread on the bread is not jam… Or like she is going to bite that hand.

    No comment on the finger.


  8. on 12 Jul 2007 at 10:31 am olivia

    These are actually hilarious. i can’t believe people fell for this stuff. and that gum vibrator looks way too much like a finger-creepy much.

    I just saw this really funny video that will show you just how much marketing has changed- from creepy to funny. It’s called speeddating.

    The website is

  9. […] Los vi en: Weirdomatic , Plan59, Vintage Advertising, Eat Liver, Pollenatrix, Saynotocrack […]

  10. on 12 Jul 2007 at 9:05 pm links for 2007-07-13 « Jet Grrl

    […] Say No to Crack » Blog Archive » …And on the topic of old ads… (tags: History Media lolz) Posted by seahawk Filed in Uncategorized […]

  11. on 12 Jul 2007 at 9:40 pm Working Girl

    I don’t understand? Is it sanitary because it fits in your hand?

    oh…does the carrying case come in pink?

  12. on 12 Jul 2007 at 11:23 pm Juan

    I agree with MG that the clown looks like a vampire. A creepy French clown vampire.

  13. on 13 Jul 2007 at 1:23 pm Noah

    Theres that cellophane again! What is it with these people and cellophane?!

  14. on 13 Jul 2007 at 4:07 pm Milo Wolfe

    Recently saw a documentary that stated adds like this were a subversive way to sell sex toys.

  15. […] No to Crack is one of my regular stops for shameless humor on the internet. One of their recent motifs involves making fun of old, retro advertisements such as this […]

  16. on 12 Oct 2007 at 3:35 pm frankly

    That finger thingy didn’t weird me out half as much as the battery ad. What the hell is that guy supposed to be? My first guess is that he is reacting to the bread girl above – yikes!

  17. on 09 Jun 2008 at 5:50 pm hi

    the gum massager lookes like a dildo

  18. on 03 May 2009 at 4:34 pm Joe


    The last one looks like a dildo, or a sex toy or something. Did anyone else see that?

  19. on 07 Jul 2010 at 9:39 pm emishesachi

    hahahah these are hilarious. the one with the girls eyes beaming at the spread is so evil and creepy. This video i found today is pretty funny, i LOVE the world cup.. but hate horns so much //

  20. on 07 Jul 2010 at 9:39 pm emishesachi

    hahah the soup one hahaha

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