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Nancy Pelosi Eyeball

Cleveland Ohio (Strutts News Services) – Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi startled a gathering of patrons attending a fundraiser for Wiccan Presidential candidate Lannie Foosers. When asked by Foosers’ campaign manager Tooncie Crumbler what she intends to do about the ever-increasing bat wing shortage, Ms. Pelosi quickly and deftly removed her right eyeball, and declared that she would do everything in her power to stop global warming caused by the current administration.

The crowd gasped, but then applauded, as Ms. Pelosi replaced her orb as quickly as she had removed it. She then blinked 52 times per second for the next 13 minutes. Ms. Crumbler suddenly and unexpectedly spontaneously combusted, erupting in blue flames while seated in the front row.

Ms. Crumbler was rushed to St. Vincent Charity Hospital where she is recuperating from 1st and 2nd degree burns on her upper torso. Complete recovery is expected.

No other injuries were reported, and no more questions were asked. The fundraiser ended three hours early, and Ms. Pelosi left quietly on her broom.

Photo via Drudge Report

5 Responses to “Nancy Pelosi: “I’m No Wuss!”, Plucks Out Own Eyeball as Proof”

  1. on 25 Jun 2007 at 12:46 pm BOSSY

    Say No To Crack Me Up. Totally.

  2. on 25 Jun 2007 at 5:32 pm Diesel

    I once saw John McCain remove his left kidney with rusty gardening sheers. Now there’s a candidate I could get behind.

  3. on 26 Jun 2007 at 3:19 pm Nessa

    That picture is so gross. I love it.

  4. on 26 Jun 2007 at 5:33 pm VE

    I hear they’re pretty good if you dip them in fry sauce.

  5. on 01 Jul 2007 at 8:27 am william

    I was eating breakfast when I read this. I shot milk out my nose and nearly choked to death. Thanks for a great article.

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