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Archive for June, 2007

Leaning Pisa

Pisa, Italy (Strutts News Services) – Due to an abberation in the earth’s magnetic/gravitational force, scientists, geologists and architectural historians verified long held theories that the famed Leaning Tower of Pisa does not actually lean at all, and that it is actually the adjacent Duomo that does.

Geotechnical engineer and astrologist Bobby Bieber BFD released the details of the findings to the UK Telegraph on Thursday. Mr. Bieber stated that the “leaning” of the tower is actually an illusion accidentally perpetrated by the thousands of visitors to the historic site.

“With few exceptions, visitors to this site photograph themselves, friends and others ‘holding up’ the tower. It’s a cheap photographic trick, but it falls apart when the camera is held properly. This myth has been blown wa-a-ay out of proportion.”

When asked about Galileo’s famed gravity experiments, Mr. Bieber responded:

“All of the mystery surrounding Ol’ Gilly [Gallileo] points to chicanery. He was a known practical joker of his time, and no one believed his stunts, although many were definitely amused. Yeah, he dropped cannon balls, but probably used maggots around the tower to influence the apparent gravitation. I mean magnets.”

Geotechnical analysis is now underway to correct the Leaning Duomo of Pisa.

Photo via The Telegraph

And no cell phone, either!

Something about this judge’s decision reminds me of a classic punishment handed to a rebellious teen by a frustrated parent: “No girlfriend for you!!

And I have to say, it’s a pretty nifty idea.

Apparently he’s got this “dependent personality” disorder (which I’ve never heard of but firmly believe in I guess) and when faced with rejection by an ex, he struck her, cut her phone cord, and then stabbed himself. Because, you know, nothing solves a problem quite like self-knifings.

Rather than jail time, the judge decided a more fundamental solution was in order: the man is not allowed to have any girlfriends for three years. I didn’t know this kind of ruling was even possible, but I’m glad I know now! In fact, I support it wholly and would like to know where to submit a list of candidates for future girlfriend-bannings!

And I totally agree.

Wow, she seems really really mad. Frankly, I’d get tired of it too. Actually, I am already tired of it. Woo shredder!

Crazy Japanese Baseball Pitch

Anyone know if this would be legal in a real baseball game?


(if you can’t see the video, click here)

Legal or not, I was pretty impressed. The first half kind of reminded me of how I throw (except my throw probably wouldn’t go anywhere near the plate).

As 99% of you already know, this site has nothing to do with saying no to drugs. However, sometimes it’s necessary to take a breather for a public service announcement.

This time, it’s to say: “if you want to convince your friends that aliens visited your uncle’s cornfield, be clean and sober when creating the crop circles”:

Cornfield

The 35 year old driver who left this poor excuse for a crop circle obviously didn’t follow this advice, and is now serving time in a Dutch prison for impersonating an alien. Drug abuse and destroying four police cars will likely be listed as secondary offenses.

via Daily Mail

For all you scene kids out there, a brand new product that should brighten…um…darken? your day up…er, down…a bit.

Emo  Bulb!

Get one free with your purchase of Disney and Pixar’s hit animated film Finding Emo!

finding emo :(

And speaking of emo, check this out (again, not new, but worth a view):

…Okay, I can’t get them to embed, but here’s the links, it’s an episode from the Hope is Emo series:
Quicktime

Flash

Nancy Pelosi Eyeball

Cleveland Ohio (Strutts News Services) – Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi startled a gathering of patrons attending a fundraiser for Wiccan Presidential candidate Lannie Foosers. When asked by Foosers’ campaign manager Tooncie Crumbler what she intends to do about the ever-increasing bat wing shortage, Ms. Pelosi quickly and deftly removed her right eyeball, and declared that she would do everything in her power to stop global warming caused by the current administration.

The crowd gasped, but then applauded, as Ms. Pelosi replaced her orb as quickly as she had removed it. She then blinked 52 times per second for the next 13 minutes. Ms. Crumbler suddenly and unexpectedly spontaneously combusted, erupting in blue flames while seated in the front row.

Ms. Crumbler was rushed to St. Vincent Charity Hospital where she is recuperating from 1st and 2nd degree burns on her upper torso. Complete recovery is expected.

No other injuries were reported, and no more questions were asked. The fundraiser ended three hours early, and Ms. Pelosi left quietly on her broom.

Photo via Drudge Report

How boring is your job? Do you think it could be worse than working here?

Boring company picture

Now THAT is a boring company!

Dean BoringBoring Business Systems is actually a real business in Lakeland, Florida … led by a gentleman with the unfortunate name of Dean Boring (to the right). If my name was Boring, I’d probably become a clown, trapeze artist, or something else decidingly NOT boring. I’d also make sure to wear my clown outfit in company pictures, not something that makes me look like an accountant.

For anyone out there that works for Boring (or knows someone who does) – I’d love to know what recruitment tool you use to convince your applicants that your company ISN’T boring. Or do you just look for boring candidates?

via Scribal Terror

I know this also isn’t too new, but again, my heart belongs to parodies, so I couldn’t help but share this gem:

Frankly, I’d overlook the whole thing, but that mock movie clip from Dinosaur Island makes this one of my most favorite videos.

WHO CARES.

Eric Conveys an Emotion

This is one of those runners up I didn’t tell you about.

It’s also one of my favorite sites, except for the fact that it hasn’t been updated properly in over a year. The concept is simple: people send Eric emotions, and Eric conveys them. He’s the human smiley.

They start off with some pretty standard basics:

happy
Happy

sad
Sad

To the more expressive:

unctuous
Unctuous

what’s that smell?
What’s that smell?

To, naturally, the ever-popular:

freeeeeeedoom
FREEEEEEDOM!!

Despite the fact that the project has basically ended, there is quite a fun collection of emotions for you to peruse. Some of them are completely priceless. Let’s hope he comes back sometime, maybe, and creates a few more.

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