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FACT: Three-year-old boys know how to cuss by the time they are two; it just takes them another twelve months to polish it and get it right.

Cussing generally improves with age, but it gets significantly less creative after the age of 12 or so, when it becomes limited to words starting with f and s. The following is a dad’s description of a true story (from, and the re-enactment is a YouTube classic:

My three-year-old has decided that “Pickles” is a curse word. It basically means “a**hole.” Or possibly, “You d**k.”

Here is an actual exchange from the other morning:

Me: Please put your pants on.
Him: Fine, Pickles.

He says it right to my face, with complete disgust.

To better illustrate the scene for you, I’ve asked the guy who played Ricky in “Better Off Dead” to provide a re-enactment using his professional acting skills. Please enjoy.

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

If you can’t appreciate the wonderful absurdity of an adult acting out the storyline insult of a three-year-old, then you’re a pooty-face times infinity plus one.

3 Responses to “Pickles is a Dirty Word”

  1. on 04 May 2007 at 11:57 am desiree

    This is hilarious! I’m using ‘pickles’ as a swear word from now on.

  2. on 04 May 2007 at 4:15 pm Barb

    They kind of do on the show “Higglytown Heroes”. Any cry of disgust is usually “Aw Pickles!”

    Might be where that kid got it from.

  3. on 06 May 2007 at 3:03 pm Beenzzz

    You know, “pickles” is a good replacement for curse words. Nah….I can’t do it.

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