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The Evil Overlord List

I realize this is a pretty old piece of work, but I thought I’d take this opportunity to share it with anyone who’s never seen it, because it really is excellent, and anyone who hasn’t seen it yet, should. Very long, but worth the read.

It’s a list of 100 things the creator would do (or not do), if he ever became an Evil Overlord. Basically, lessons learned from every epic movie/book/video game ever created. If you have a goal of someday achieving evil greatness, this is a definite must read. Some of my favorites:

  • My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
  • After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks’ time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
  • I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.
  • If I’m eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.

And there are so many, many more. A good time-waster.

2 Responses to “The Evil Overlord List”

  1. on 02 May 2007 at 3:00 pm brent

    Simply awesome, I will definitely put this suggestions to work at my secret island fortress of despairing dastardly doom.

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