There always has been and always will be a warm spot in my heart for parodies, and this one is probably one of the most fun I’ve seen in a while.

My favorite quote: “I will no longer be homeless! I will be POOR!!”

Oh my. And, if you liked it, there’s a sequel:

At the height of the cold war, amidst talk of radical changes in transportation, a battle cry could be heard from our Soviet neighbors: “We’re Russian, we don’t need no stinking bullet train … we have a jet plane instead”:

This is actually a real train, albeit a prototype, built by the Russians in the early 1970s. Its maximum speed was about 180 mph, pretty impressive for an age when trains rarely exceeded 80, and it would still be amongst the fastest trains in the world today. via English Russia

Not surprisingly, the Russians got the idea from the United States:

This is the M-497, a jet-powered engine was tested in New York during the summer of 1966. No passengers were ever transported, but the train did exceed 183 mph (still a U.S. record today).

I would have figured the Russians would have at least tried to hit 184 to clinch the record, but (like me) they probably were just having trouble with the metric system conversion and gave up.

via Dark Roasted Blend

I’ve read this article maybe twenty times, and I still can’t quite wrap my head around it.

A woman in Arkansas has been arrested…for stealing a teddy-bear from a baby. When a local detective was asked for a possible motive, he answered, “That’s a real good question.”

This story wasted its potential: had the bear contained some explosive device, we’d have had a national hero.

Had the bear contained a large and valuable diamond, we’d have had two mice from the Rescue Aid Society get it back and rescue Penny from the alligators.

If the bear somehow became sentient and called for the woman’s help to get him free, I’d… board up the windows, and up my dosage.

But, no. Apparently some woman in Arkansas had such a sudden and desperate need for a stuffed toy, that she simply had to lean into a stranger’s car whose windows were open and snatch a teddy-bear from the arms of a small child. But perhaps the most heinous part of the whole ordeal is, we’ll never know why she did it.

The farmer who posted this sign either has a great sense of humor or takes the “truth in advertising” adage a little too seriously:

I wonder if they also accept trade-ins? Or maybe I can trade up from a new goat to a slightly used cow?

For those wondering where the sign is located … I’m told that if you drive South from Louisville, Kentucky along Interstate 65, you’ll see the sign on a parallel country road within half an hour.

via Michael and Krissy’s photogallery

In Sao Paulo, Brazil, motorcyclists regularly infuriate locals with their foolhardy riding style. The following video shows what happens when a police force known for their brutality chases after a couple of these fearless riders:

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

Based on the speed of the cops, relative to the first rider (who must have broken something), I think they’ve been eating too many bolinhos de chuva (Brazilian doughnuts). He probably still could have escaped if he was pushing himself in a wheelchair!

via Bizarre Brazil – Thanks Rico!

Mmmm … bacon:

via

Remember hand and armpit farting when you were a kid? I could only muster a couple notes in the pool with my hands, and a nice slurpy disco beat with my pits. Nothing like Gerry Phillips, a seasoned hand farter who’s been perfecting his technique for over 37 years. This guy is amazing:

(if you can’t see the video, click here – Thanks Hammer!)

Wow, I just caught myself singing along to a guy farting with his hands. This next video really highlights his talent – Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring, at about four times actual tempo:

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

Incredible. If J. S. Bach was still alive, I think he might actually be proud of that performance. I wonder if Gerry plays along with his hands at church?

Moving to armpits, it turns out that quality armpit farters are in short supply. This ridiculous Afghani appears to be the best around:

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

There must be better armpit farters, right? If not, I’m going to start practicing … I’ve always wanted to be the best in the world at something.

We all know what recycling is … but what about unrecycling?

How do you unrecycle something? Does the Chinese government fill up the can with trash and require pedestrians to take some with them? That’s my assessment after seeing this puzzling unrecycling logo:

I’d love to learn the real usage, or just read your guesses.

via boingboing

We all know that smoking and drinking can be bad for humans, but what about for Marshmallow Peeps? Extensive research was conducted in the late 90’s to determine the impact of these vices on the fragile, yet delicious, Easter treats.

Smoking:

Even though the Peep finished half a camel, it showed no signs of coughing or lung damage. Fearing a backlash for giving cigarettes to “young chicks”, researchers stopped their study after a single smoke instead of giving the purple peep a 500-pack case as originally planned.

Drinking:

Once again, the peep showed surprising resiliency. After being given 8 shots of 190 proof alcohol, there were no noticeable physical changes to the peep, although at one point it began swimming on its side and bumping into the glass walls.

Smoking and Drinking:

Researchers were stunned at the peep’s hardiness, so they decided to get the peep ready for a night out on the town by testing its reaction to the combination of smoking and drinking.

After only a few minutes, the peep began to show signs of distress:

Oops, looks like peeps are better suited for Easter baskets than night clubs! More peep research available here. Thanks Matt!

It takes a lot of concentration and self-control to pull this off. Or in.

According to eyewitnesses, the ball hovered for a full five seconds while the cameraman adjusted the focus and f-stops and thingies, and everyone else looked for a match.

Once the photograph was taken, Midfielder Lannie Foosers just blew it off.

Photo from Thrilling Wonder