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Boys will be contaminates

so fun, it’ll kill you!

Story on SFGate: Boys Contaminate W.Va. Town With Mercury

So basically, some boys sneak into a dentist’s office and steal four pounds of mercury.

The moral of this article? An entire town is potentially contaminated by the brain-damaging substance that these boys, with their thievery, introduced, and the response is… “boys will be boys.”

“Hahaha, oh, that crazy little Billy and his endangerment of an entire town. That silly kid, but who can blame him? It was shiny and fun!”

Shiny and fun and incredibly toxic…that’s what being a little boy is all about.

10 Responses to “Boys will be contaminates”

  1. on 13 Apr 2007 at 11:51 am Anthony

    Hmm, dentist has stroke 18 months ago, sign on door for sale, leave place unlocked, gotta love small towns…

    I’m off to google to search for any small towns where the banker had a stroke in the last 18 months :)

    The Insane Membrane

  2. on 14 Apr 2007 at 12:57 am Bunk


    Actually, mercury is not that toxic when you look at statistics. More people die from inhalation of di-hydrogen-oxide every year.

  3. on 14 Apr 2007 at 1:02 am Bunk

    Typo– should read dihydrogenmonoxide.

  4. on 14 Apr 2007 at 2:11 pm Anthony

    I always did love the Pen and Teller special on DHMO :)

    Journey Through Divorce

  5. on 14 Apr 2007 at 7:28 pm Karen

    Bunk – I’m just exaggerating because no matter how not toxic it is, the town’s still been contaminated, and it’s because those “boys would be boys” by stealing four pounds of it :P.

  6. on 15 Apr 2007 at 2:03 am Bunk

    Four pounds of mercury cannot “contaminate” a town. It is the equivalent volume of four ounces of water.

  7. on 15 Apr 2007 at 2:14 am Karen

    Lol, okay, so they contaminated 200 people then. The danger of mercury wasn’t what I found funny about the article.

    Personally, I’d love to play with that stuff. My old biology teacher used to talk about how much fun it is. Though, I must say, I’d never steal it from an abandoned dentist’s office :)

  8. on 15 Apr 2007 at 11:22 pm Bunk

    Karen, you wrote, “I’d never steal it from an abandoned dentist’s office.” So, where would YOU steal it from?

    Just funnin’ witcha. Mercury IS fun, if you handle it properly.

  9. on 17 Apr 2007 at 5:45 pm KC

    I remember playing with mercury as a kid. We touched it with our fingers, rolled it around the floors, desktops, scooped it up with paper, herded it into little corrals… NEVER once got ill.
    I’m sure it’s toxic, but if it was DEADLY toxic by proximity, I’d be dead, and that’s no lie.

  10. on 20 Apr 2007 at 2:12 am L

    I guess you guys have never heard of Minamata disease…

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