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The Art of Hand Farting

Remember hand and armpit farting when you were a kid? I could only muster a couple notes in the pool with my hands, and a nice slurpy disco beat with my pits. Nothing like Gerry Phillips, a seasoned hand farter who’s been perfecting his technique for over 37 years. This guy is amazing:

(if you can’t see the video, click hereThanks Hammer!)

Wow, I just caught myself singing along to a guy farting with his hands. This next video really highlights his talent – Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring, at about four times actual tempo:

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

Incredible. If J. S. Bach was still alive, I think he might actually be proud of that performance. I wonder if Gerry plays along with his hands at church?

Moving to armpits, it turns out that quality armpit farters are in short supply. This ridiculous Afghani appears to be the best around:

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

There must be better armpit farters, right? If not, I’m going to start practicing … I’ve always wanted to be the best in the world at something.

11 Responses to “The Art of Hand Farting”

  1. on 07 Apr 2007 at 3:13 pm Anita Bath

    Ben – “hand farting” is technically called manualism. Surprisingly, some manualists appear to take it pretty seriously, although the guy in the video seems like he wouldn’t be offended.

    BTW, I’d love to see you out-armpit-fart that Afghan guy. You might need to shave your pits first to get better pitch control. 😉

  2. on 07 Apr 2007 at 4:42 pm Dan

    I’m slow in catching on, but are you new to posting here Ben? I always assumed it was just Anita.

    Maybe Anita heard your arm farting and couldn’t resist any longer?

    In any event, Happy Easter and/or Passover and/or whatever.

  3. on 07 Apr 2007 at 9:05 pm ben

    Hey Dan – I’ve been posting here a while, but have been helping Anita out a little more lately. BTW – sorry to hear about your alient abduction 😉

  4. on 07 Apr 2007 at 10:36 pm Anthony

    Wow… you mean there is actually a name for that practice. Some people have way too much time on their hands. Not that I should speak, I visit way too many blogs daily which ranks me right along side them :(

    Journey Through Divorce

  5. on 08 Apr 2007 at 6:03 am Freelance Cynic


    I told the witch doctor……

  6. on 08 Apr 2007 at 7:58 am Tisha

    The Afghani is pretty entertaining!

  7. on 10 Apr 2007 at 4:40 pm Say What?

    I am thinking my 8 year old son could give the Afghani a run for his money. He has mastered his armpits and his knee pits (what he calls the back of his knees)

    His father and I are so proud. (wiping imaginary tear away)

  8. on 10 Apr 2007 at 10:13 pm Rowan

    That first guy is unbelievable.

    Now I am trying unsuccessfully to make fart noises with my hand. I am such a loser.

  9. on 11 Apr 2007 at 3:01 am Laugh Links | Freaked-Out Fathers

    […] The Art of Hand-farting at Say No to Crack. […]

  10. on 13 Apr 2007 at 9:47 am Ian

    Boy that was one of the funnies things i’ve ever seen!!! I stumbled onto your website, and I’ve shared it with all my friends, it’s all good!
    Thanks for the laughs!

  11. on 15 Apr 2007 at 12:35 pm Dave

    Doubt I’ll ever achieve the skill displayed by Gerry; my hands are usually too dry to get much sound out. But my kids know to look out when we’re at the pool or lake. I can shoot a stream of water with my hands about 20 feet! Guess I shouldn’t brag; Gerry could probably imitate one of those fancy pulsing fountains with his.

    That Afghani is pretty entertaining to watch. Don’t think I’d want to shake his hand after a performance though!

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