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Marshmallow Peep Research

We all know that smoking and drinking can be bad for humans, but what about for Marshmallow Peeps? Extensive research was conducted in the late 90’s to determine the impact of these vices on the fragile, yet delicious, Easter treats.

Smoking:

Peep smoking cigarette

Even though the Peep finished half a camel, it showed no signs of coughing or lung damage. Fearing a backlash for giving cigarettes to “young chicks”, researchers stopped their study after a single smoke instead of giving the purple peep a 500-pack case as originally planned.

Drinking:

Peep and Alcohol

Once again, the peep showed surprising resiliency. After being given 8 shots of 190 proof alcohol, there were no noticeable physical changes to the peep, although at one point it began swimming on its side and bumping into the glass walls.

Smoking and Drinking:

Researchers were stunned at the peep’s hardiness, so they decided to get the peep ready for a night out on the town by testing its reaction to the combination of smoking and drinking.

Peep before smoking and drinking

After only a few minutes, the peep began to show signs of distress:

Peep after smoking and drinking

Oops, looks like peeps are better suited for Easter baskets than night clubs! More peep research available here. Thanks Matt!

13 Responses to “Marshmallow Peep Research”

  1. on 06 Apr 2007 at 3:55 pm Diesel

    I’ve often felt that way after a night of smoking and drinking.

    My wife just brought home a package of Peeps and a box of Rice Krispies, so I can make my patented Peep Krispy treats. It’s fun to watch them melt in the pan and make “Peep peep!” noises.

    Anita and friends, come play in my caption contest!

  2. on 06 Apr 2007 at 5:44 pm BOSSY

    This helps explain why Bossy blew up the last time she smoked inside a beaker. Thanks.

  3. on 06 Apr 2007 at 6:34 pm Freelance Cynic

    What the hell is a marshmallow peep? And why would we want to encourage them to start smoking?

    Shouldn’t we save that for the working class poor…

  4. on 06 Apr 2007 at 8:04 pm Bunk

    Lick ’em and stick ’em to the ceiling. That’s all that peeps are good for.

  5. on 06 Apr 2007 at 9:18 pm Danaë

    My wife just brought home a package of Peeps and a box of Rice Krispies, so I can make my patented Peep Krispy treats.

    Oooooh… good idea.

  6. on 07 Apr 2007 at 10:22 am Robin

    That peep would drink me under the table.

  7. on 07 Apr 2007 at 11:20 am Anthony

    The surgical separation was pretty funny too on that website :0

    Anthony
    The Insane Membrane

  8. on 09 Apr 2007 at 12:59 am z

    If you’ve got a microwave oven with a clear window, take those long cocktail toothpicks and tuck one under the ‘wing’ of two Peeps. Face them two Peep-paces away from each other in the micro and press ‘start.’ It’s know as Peeps jousting, and there’s a bit more inherent drama than in lick ’em and stick ’em. (Though not as much as in flaming out inside a beaker, but the Management frowns on blatant combustibles).

  9. on 09 Apr 2007 at 4:53 pm Ed

    That last image of the partied out peep is similar, apparently, to what my Grandad looked like on the inside after 60 cigarettes a day for 60 years.

  10. on 10 Apr 2007 at 10:24 pm Rowan

    Too F’ing funny. I also liked the Peep separation – I thought that was even better than the smoking and drinking.

  11. on 13 Apr 2007 at 12:15 am Bunk

    z–

    Microwave peep jousting sounds cool, but “lick ’em & stick ’em” provides long term suspense, and won’t set your microwave on fire.

    Have friends initial them for a peep-pool, bet on when they fall. If your wife decides to knock ’em all down at once, everyone wins their original bet.

    Otherwise pace it for a year: First one wins half; the second peep to fall wins half of the rest, etc.

    Your wife will knock the rest of them down anyway two months from now, and you losers can split the remainder of the pot. But you had fun, yeah?

  12. on 13 Apr 2007 at 12:20 am Bunk

    On second thought, you’ll also have to set up a live streaming webcam to catch the falling peeps AS THEY OCCUR so your friends won’t accuse you of cheating.

  13. on 13 Apr 2007 at 12:21 am Bunk

    Okay. Peep jousting in the microwave does sound better.

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