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Archive for March, 2007

Have you ever been on the edge of losing it at work? I’ve kicked copiers and pulled off all the keys on a laptop out of frustration, but have always managed to appear calm and collected.

The guy in this video, on the other hand, has obviously been told to “just try again or reboot your computer” one too many times. He’s attempting to do a print-screen, but keeps getting junk (note: the first 45 seconds are slow, but it gets better):

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

Talk about a career limiting move! Thanks to Mr. Disgruntled at Disgruntled Workforce for the video.

Update: Bunk just sent me this video of another office worker snapping:

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

While the guy in the first video probably could have talked his way out of getting fired, the second must have been toast. Second video possibly via Miss Cellania.

Now, even McDonalds is getting in on the “bald is beautiful” trend:

McDonalds and Britney Spears Bald Billboard

Thank goodness they aren’t giving out a McFlurry or Shamrock Shakes … I would have seriously considered their offer!

The Portable Pub

We’ve all heard of Port-a-Potties, but what about Port-a-Pubs?

Portable Pub

Billed as “the world’s first inflatable pub”, this pub in a box holds up to 50 guests (or 200 college students), fits in the back of a van, and assembles in under an hour:

Portable Pub crowd

Why add an extension to your house when you can buy a portable pub that travels with you? All pub-like features are painted directly onto the PVC walls (now anti-fungal and flame retardant!), so there’s no need to worry about unruly guests breaking paintings or windows … although you may want to watch out for guests trying to carve their names on the “wood” beams:

Portable Pub - Drinks Served

While it probably doesn’t come with a dartboard, the portable pub does have a built-in fire escape:

Portable Pub - Fire Escape

Personally, I think Amber Iris (its distributor) should sell a version with a bouncy castle attached … kids’ birthday parties would suddently draw quite the crowd.

Motorcycle Model

“We’d like to hire you to be our ‘spokes-model’ at the convention.”
“Okay.”

“You will have to act the part, pretend you’re riding the motorcycle through the countryside.”
“Okay.”

“You’ll probably have to do it for several hours at a time. Are you up to that?”
“Okay.”

“Show us how you’d REALLY look riding on this magnificent machine, with the wind blowing through your hair.”
“Okay.”

Motorcycle Spokesmodel

Photo via Arbroath

I love to fish, but could never get into ice fishing. Why not? To be honest, I was always afraid of something like this happening:

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

This is supposedly part of a commercial for Fish Oil … I can’t find the whole thing, but it certainly doesn’t give me the urge to buy supplements! Maybe Fishermen Anonymous could use this video in promotional materials instead? 😉

Notice anything strange about Derek Jeter’s newest Topps baseball card?

Derek Jeter Baseball Card with George Bush and Mickey Mantle

Wait, is that George W. Bush waving to Mr. November as he takes a swing? Who knew that secret service would allow the president to sit in the regular box seats? And who’s that in the dugout? Did the Great Mickey Mantle decided to make a return to the living to catch a Yankees game? Talk about pressure!

Apparently somewhere between the final proofing and printing the cards, someone at the company thought it would be funny to put in Bush and Mantle. It was too late for Topps to change the card, so they just laughed and included the card in the set.

I’d love to get one of these, seems like it would make a great collector’s card one day.

Link

Fresh Fruit at Amazon.com?

Did you know that you can buy fruit (and other food) from Amazon.com? I’m sure the fruit tastes great, but after reading a few customer reviews I was laughing too hard to consider buying anything. Here are a few of my favorites, directly from Amazon:

Chiquita Bananas:

BananasThese are good for eating, but they are VERY UNSUITABLE FOR SURGICAL PROCEDURES. It seems as if they just can’t hold a sharp enough edge to incise human skin.

No plot, terrible cover … I can’t see how stuff like this gets published. (in a reply: I don’t know…I found it quite a-PEEL-ing!)

I should note that while banana skins are not addictive, there is some chance of experiencing mild withdrawal symptoms after prolonged heavy use (muscle aches, chills, etc). Certainly not anything in the realm of heroin or morphine withdrawal though.

Ring Ring Ring Ring goes the Banana phone – i like to wear the peel as a hat.

California Green Seedless Grapes:

GrapesUnlike the banana, the california green seedless grape fits perfectly into one’s nostril. I only give this item four stars, however, because it’s difficult to retain its original shape and texture AND remove it from said nostril.

California’s ‘Green Seedless Grapes, 1 lbs’ lacks the lyrical punch of their first album (‘Avocados, 1 Each’)

I once tried to reverse engineer grapes by soaking raisins in water for 6 months … Don’t make the mistake I did and think that you can play God with grapes.

Someone said that these would make excellent broomball shoes, which are very hard to find and expensive. They were wrong!

Fresh Vine Ripe Tomatoes:

TomatoesRipoff – I thought my Fresh Vine Ripe Tomatoes would come whole. Instead, as you can see from the graphic, I received five whole tomatoes and one that had already been cut in half.

Not Very Deadly – Despite being a member of the Solanaceae or often-deadly nightshade family (native to the Americas), I find tomatoes to be relatively friendly.

As a side note, tomato put the “T” in BLT.

Fresh Spanish Onions

OnionAir Freshener – This is best used when chopped into little pieces and spread copiously throughout the house. It leaves a lovely aroma that will have your guests talking!

Boycott these onions! They are taking away all the jobs from perfectly good white onions!

Two weeks ago I saw these onions out behind the Denny’s on 81st. They were speaking perfect English. Not a hint of a Spanish accent. Then just yesterday I was at a rendition of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof and I saw one of them pretending to be German. It’s all a SHAM!!! These are simple American onions trying to be pretentious and pass themselves off as something exotic. Don’t believe the hype!

You can read hundreds of other reviews on each fruit’s page (Bananas, Onions, Tomatoes, and Grapes). Many of the other fresh products on Amazon also have interesting reviews. If I missed any great ones, let me know in a comment!

Do Not Drink the Water

Why is the sign only in English? Why isn’t it in Braille as well? What a cruel trick.
Picture via grow-a-brain.

What’s the easiest way to guarantee that the DMV won’t renew your driver’s license, even if you show up on time with all your paper’s in order? Try this:

(if you can’t see the video, here)

Surprisingly, all injuries were later reported to be very minor. Think they renewed her license?

I’ll give $379 to anyone who can finish this burger:

World's Largest Burger

Up for the challenge? I’ll even let a friend help, although don’t expect a windfall from my offer … the burger alone costs $379 (part of which goes to charity)! Plus, you’ll need plenty of extra drinks to wash down the 80-pound beef patty, 30-pound bun, 12 tomatoes, 160 slices of cheese, and 4 pounds of lettuce, ketchup, mustard and mayo.

For a real challenge that is at least theoretically possible to complete, try Denny’s Beer Barrel Pub YE’OLDE 96er. Only a couple people have ever finished the 11 pound burger in the alotted 3 hours … the first being this 115 pound teenager (Kate Stelnick from Princeton, New Jersey):

Kate Stelnick Burger

Nice … looks like Denny’s is only about an hour from my house … time to start training.

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