Subscribe Now!Mini Contest – Best Short Joke
February 6th, 2007 by Anita Bath
UPDATE: The contest is over, but I’m waiting for you to help me pick the winner in this short poll. Thanks for all your great jokes, I had a fun time reading them!
Time for another fun little contest. This one’s easy – just add a comment with your best short joke.
Leave as many jokes as you’d like, they can be original or ones you’ve heard elsewhere. The only limitations are to keep them short and keep them G/PG rated.
Depending on the response, I’ll either announce my favorites here or put them up for vote. The top 5 will get posted here with a link back to their site (if they have one). I’ve decided to throw in a fun mystery prize for the best one (or a cash prize if the winner would prefer)!
Even cheesy or bad jokes are welcome … I laugh at almost anything, even this:
The contest will end Saturday night, so don’t delay in showing off your inner Comedian! 
Related Posts:
No results.
Grasshopper walks into a bar.
Bartender says, we have a drink named after you.
Grasshopper says, you have a drink named Steve?
Woman goes into labor yells, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Can’t!”
She was having contractions.
DOCTOR: I’ve got some bad news and I’ve got some really bad news.
PATIENT: Give me the bad news first.
DOCTOR: Well, you have about twenty-four hours to live I’m afraid.
PATIENT: That’s terrible, what’s the really bad news?
DOCTOR: I’ve been trying to call you since yesterday…
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why does everything you sit on feel like underwear?
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
If someone says, “I never forget a face,” how would he know?
Why was the game named “golf?” (Because “%#@!” was already taken.)
What happened to the butcher who sat on his bacon slicer?
-He got behind with his orders!
What lunch meat was responsible for 9/11? Osalami bin Laden!!
Yuk yuk?
What kinds of bugs live in chimneys? Chimney crickets!
What is the study of soda carbonation? Fizzics!
What’s a swimmer’s favorite sport? Pool.
What was Carl Sagan’s druid name? Carl Pagan!
A dog limps into a bar and says, “I’m looking for the man that shot my paw!”
What’s green, lives in your refridgerator and sings?
Elvis Parsley.
A baby seal walks into a club.
What are seagulls that live by the bay? BAGELS
What did the fish say when it ran into a brick wall?
Dam!
So, three dyslexics walk into a bra…
Little Jonny went to the police claiming he was constantly beaten by his parents. Child services looked into it and found the whole family had abuse problems back generations. The judge didn’t know what to do! Finally, he realized the perfect solution. He gave Jonny to the Chicago Bears. They never beat anyone.
zing
Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
Every time I see a fireplace, I think of Santa Clause, and am ashamed.
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey — why the long face?”
A naked man wrapped in saran wrap walks into a shrinks office. the shrink looks at him and says “I can clearly see you’re nuts”
Doctor: I am sorry you are deathly ill
Patient: how long do I have to live
Doctor: Ten
Patient: Ten months, ten days ? what?
Doctor: Ten, nine, Eight, seven, ………
A bear walks into a bar and orders a Gin………………….and tonic.
The bar tender asks him, “why the big pause?”
The bear holds up his hands and says, “I was born with them.”
One more:
A pirate walks into a bar, and the barkeep says “Hey! Did you know that you’ve got your ship’s wheel stuck in your pants?!”
So the pirate says “Aye! That thing be drivin’ me nuts! Aaargh!”
When is a door not a door?
When its a-jar.
What was the last thing to go through the bugs mind when it hit the windshield?
It’s butt.
A guy walked into a bar and said, “ouch.”
Q: Why are there no zebras in Czech zoos?
A: Czechs and stripes don´t mix.
Okay – those were funny! Sitting here laughing out loud. I esp like the grasshopper named steve – and Jake’s jokes were all prety funny too. I like the dyslexics and the bra.
I have got nothing to add though… I will be back if I can think of something/ find something.
Great contest!
Q: Why are restaurants on the moon so boring?
A: There’s no atmosphere.
Never worry about being a little behind;
worry about being a big one.
Two Irishmen walked out of a bar.
Well, it COULD happen.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue;
I’m schizophrenic,
And so am I.
Just because you’re not paranoid doesn’t mean that we’re still not out to get you.
My grampa used to say, “You know, Bunky, one of these days I’m gonna wake up dead.” He was right.
It’s a well known fact that 67.4% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
7 out of 10 doctors don’t know what they’re talking about.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
why did the boy fall off his bike?
because someone threw a fridge at him.
There’s no use being pessimistic, it probably wouldn’t work anyways.
Shortest Students Joke ever:
I think
okay, so…
after our talk, i had an idea, and went to put it in action. so, if you agree to the idea, could you make this available? if not, just ignore it.
I’m really sorry to intrude on your space like this, but I came to proposition you and everyone who reads your blog. Now, don’t delete me, hear me out.
I’ve just started a new blog, it’s Oh, what a preeety world, and here is a little something about it:
Please stop by and comment on this week’s topic. We would really appreciate your view on the subject.
Little Susie tosses a clock out the window. A robot inquires, “Why did you do that?” She replies, “I wanted to see time fly!” The robot says, “Ah … A perfect subject for elimination,” and shoots her with a laser beam through the face.
A rabbi, an Arab, a robot, and a Catholic priest walk into a bar. Only the robot exits.
Why did the absurdist cross the road?
FISH!
Whats invisible and smells like carrots?
Bunny farts!
Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.
Four thirds of all Americans do not know how to use fractions correctly.
Rene Descartes walks into a bar and asks for their finest cognac. The bartender searches his stock, finds a dusty bottle, and pours a snifter for Descartes. Descartes takes a sip and grimaces. The bartender says, “That’s pretty good, ain’t it?” Descartes haughtily replies, “I think not” and disappears in a puff of logic.
The doctor tells Dumb Dora she’s pregnant with twins. Dumb Dora just laughs; she knew she only did it once.
What sist on the bottom of the ocean and trembles?
A nervous wreck !!
“I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.”
“I was born via ceasarian section. It’s never really bothered me but, now and then, when I leave my house, I got out through the window.”
Stephen Wright
You hear about that new pirate movie? It’s rated ARRR.
Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo’ Drizzle.
Duke Nukem Forever is coming out soon.
Did I tell you about the three holes in my backyard?
No?
Well, well, well…
How do you get down from an elephant?
You don’t. You get down from a duck.
I was told that cow tongue is a delicacy, but I have a hard time tasting something that is tasting me back.
Why aren’t psychics rich?
P.S. Robert’s Descartes joke (a few posts above) is very clever.
I came from a town so small that the dentist and the proctologist was the same guy. It was alright, as long as you set up your dental appointment before noon.
–Pinkard & Bowden
There are 10 types of people, those who know binary and those who don’t.
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and asks, “What is this, some kind of joke?”
Little Jewish boy asks his father for fifty dollars. Father says:”FORTY DOLLARS?? Whadda ya’ need thirty dollars for?”
Did you hear about the Buddhist monk that refused the Novocaine when getting a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
A Buddhist monk walks up to a hotdog vendor and says “Make me one with everything.”
When I die I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming like the passengers in his car.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Eye-Deer.
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no Eye-Deer.
What’s green and smells like red paint? Green paint.
Why are men like parking spots? All the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
what’s new with windows XP 64bit-edition? you can get blue-screen even on a monochrome monitor!
the swedish pilot to the other after landing: “these runways are damned short, but insanely wide!”
little Pete came with his father to the pub
-Daddy, when are you drunk
-When the two guys over there becomes four
-But there is only one guy there
Q: What do you do with a wombat?
A: Play wom.
How do you fit four elephants in a wee red mini?
Two in the front and two in the back.
How can you tell when there’s an elephant under your bed?
You nose is touching the ceiling.
Why do elephants paint the souls of their feet yellow?
So they can hide upside down in bowls of custard.
Have you ever found an elephant in your custard?
Must work then.
How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge?
There’s one set of footprints in the butter.
How can you tell if two elephants have been in your fridge?
There’s two set of footprints in the butter.
How can you tell if four elephants have been in your fridge?
There’s there’s a wee red mini parked outside.
What’s big, brown, has six legs, and would kill you if it fell out of a tree?
A pool table.
Two blondes come across a set of tracks in a forest. They start bickering over whether they’re deer or rabbit tracks. The argument is cut short however when they’re both run over by the train.
Two cows are standing in a field. The first one asks ‘Aren’t you worried about this mad cow disease?’
The second one responds ‘It doesn’t worry me, I’m a duck’.
Doctor: Sorry, John… your condition is pretty bad! I guess is that you have only about 3 minutes left.
Pacient: Oh, no!!! 3 minutes!!!! Doctor, please, there isn’t anything you can do for me?
Doctor: In 3 minutes? Well, I can prepare cup noodles for you…
man walks into a shop asks for a packet of helicopter flavour crisps. Guy behind the counter shrugs and says – “sorry we’ve only got plane (plain)!”.
A horse walks into a bar. Bartender asks, “Awww, why the long face?”
Panda walks into a restaurant orders a meal and then guns everyone down. The papers the next day say: “Panda Eats, Shoots and Leaves.”
A Buddhist says to the hot dog vendor, “Make me one with everything.”
Tragedy in Portugal: 200 people died in Lisbon due to a plane crash. 100 in the accident and the other 100 in the accident reconstitution.
What kind of bees give milk?
Boobees.
Two peanuts were walking down the street and one of them was a salted. (assaulted)
Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, “You man the guns, I’ll drive!”
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh
A naked man walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender looks and says “What’s the story, Carl?” The duck answers, “Man, there’s just some things you can’t explain.”
What’s brown and looks in your window? A nosey poo.
Two aerials met, fell in love and got married. The wedding wasn’t very good but the reception was great.
A guy walks into a pet shop and asks to buy a wasp. The shopkeeper says “We don’t sell wasps” Man replies ” But there’s one in the window.”
Masochist: Hurt me!
Sadist: No.
Shortest joke ever: Pretentious? Moi?
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
What do you call an Amish man with his hand in a horse’s butt?
A mechanic.
What goes, “Clip-clop, clip-clop, bang. Clip-clop, clip-clop, bang?”
An Amish drive-by.
why did the man throw a stick of butter out the window?
he wanted to see a butter-fly
A termite walks into a bar and says, “Is the bar tender here?”
A priest, a rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. “Ow.” “Oy”. “Quack!”
Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other “You know, I’m a bit worried about this mad cow disease that’s been going around.” The other replies, “I’m not, I’m a helicopter.”
Heisenberg was driving down the highway when a cop pulled him over. The cop asks, “Do you know how fast you were going?” Heisenberg says, “Yes, but I have no idea where I am!”
(for non-physics folk, it’s based on Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle).
Two atoms are walking down the street. One turns to the other and says “Bill, I think I lost an electron!!” “You sure, Bob?” “Yeah, I’m positive!”
what did one snowman say to the other snowman?
“do you smell carrots?”
a ham sandwich walks into a bar and says “do you serve food here?”
A duck walks into a pharmacist and says “Gimmie some Chapstick and put it on my bill.”
A woman walks up to a bishop at an ordination and says “Bishop, I love your dress, but your handbag is on fire.”
A horse walks into a bar
The bartender says: Hey, why the long face?
What’s red and green and red and green and red and green…
A frog in a blender.
Did you hear about the Rabbi who was drunk on job?
He got the sack…
(that’s “the job”, above)
Also:
Q: What’s the difference between Ignorance and Apathy?
A: I don’t know, and I don’t care.
Why do sharks live in salt water? Because pepper water would make them sneeze!
What do you call a black guy that flies a plane?
-A pilot you freakin’ racist
An Irishman walks out of a bar.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
How do you circumcize a whale?
Send in four skin divers.
what did the snail say when he jumped on the turtle’s back?
“wheee!”
and in a similar vein…
a snail was walking down the street and was jumped by a group of roving turtle thugs, who beat him up and stole his wallet.
He called the police and told them what happened, and they asked, “did you get a good look at these guys?”
The snail sniffed and said mournfully, “It all just happened so fast!”
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
A kid arriving from school says to his mother:
- Mom, everyone is saying I’m too hairy!
The mother, frightened yells to his husband:
- Honey!! The dog is talking!!
what’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
a carrot
Did you hear about the guy combining an abalone and a crocodile? He wanted to call it an abodile. I think it’s a crock of baloney.
Two snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Ba-boom ching
What’s grey and can’t climb up trees? A car park
While taking a bath, a three-year-old boy was examining his testicles.
“Mom”, he asked, “are these my brains?”
“Not yet”, she replied.
A man walked into a bar and said “Ow.”
Duct Tape is like the Force: It has a Light Side, a Dark Side, and it binds the galaxy together.
An aide is briefing President Bush on the latest from the Iraq front.
Aide: “…And also yesterday we lost three Brazilian soldiers.”
President Bush: “How many is a Brazilian again?”
What’s orange and looks good on a hippie? Fire
How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, but how did they get in there?
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
It was dead.
Why did the baby fall out of the tree?
It was stapled to the monkey.
What’s the difference between a grape and an elephant?
Grapes are purple
What did Tarzan say when she saw the elephants come over the hill?
“Look at all those grapes!” (She’s colorblind)
Why was the elephant wearing black sneakers?
His white ones were dirty
A piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “hey get out of here we don’t serve string”. Angered by the bartenders comment, the string leaves, goes out onto the sidewalk, ties him self up, messes up his hair and walks back into the bar. The bartender looks at him ans says “hey aren’t you that string that was in here a minute ago?” and the string says “nope, i’m afraid not.”
How do you tell the best man at a nudist wedding?
What’s the best part of a bee?
Its knees.
What’s the difference between a duck?
One of its legs is both the same.
Thankyou, I’m here all week…
1st guy: I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
2nd guy: Oh yeah, what’s the name of his other leg.
Did you hear the new joke for the deaf? Me neither.
Why didn’t Jesus go to College?
He got nailed on the boards.
2 Polish guys went hunting. They saw a sign that said bear left, so they went home.
A man walks into a bar and says “Ouch.”
Did you hear about the dyslexic, atheist, insomniac?
He layed awake in bed all night wondering if there really is a dog.
My favorite short joke:
A mushroom walks into a bar
The bartender says “We don’t serve your kind in here.”
The mushroom says “Why not? I’m a fungi.”
Ba dum dum
1. A boy in school one day says, “I can walk through walls.”
His teacher replies, “Prove it!”
“Okay,” the boy says. He opens the door and walks out.
2. The boy is in school a week later and says, “I can throw a rock and it will never come down!”
The teacher sighs wearily and says, “Fine… prove it.”
The boy throws a rock toward the classrom ceiling, where it sticks on the wad of gum he had thrown there earlier.
Lame, I know, but I was trying to think of things that hadn’t been done yet.
A skeleton walks into a bar and says “Give me a beer and a mop.”
How do get an elephant into Safeway?
You take the “S” out of Safe and the “F” out of “Way.”
Did you hear the one about the Gestapo?
Liar!
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig.
Why do elephants float on their backs in the river?
To trip low flying ducks.
Is it time to get out the dead baby jokes?
Why don’t they have ice cubes in Poland?
The lady with the recipe died.
How many Navy midshipmen does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They’ll send in the marines.
Blind guy walks into a bar.
Did you hear about the exhibitionist who was thinking of retiring? He decided to stick it out for another year.
What’s brown and wrinkled and lives in the bell tower?
The lunchbag of Notre Dame.
A dead fly is a flew.
A myth is a female moth.
“It depends on what the meaning of ‘is’ is.”
–Bill Clinton
If your car could go at the speed of light and you turned the headlights on, would the deer still stop?
Dwarves, midgets and young children experience the elevator a lot differently than the rest of us.
I bought a trash compactor that takes 10 pounds of trash and converts it to 10 pounds of trash. I’m getting my money back.
Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder’s wife? Neither has he.
Q: “Why do you still go out with that sadist?”
A: “I dunno. Beats me.”
Doc Fischer came up with the idea for a drive-thru vasectomy clinic. The francise was named, “Suture Self.”
–Jerry Galvin/Doc Fischer “talk-talk”
It was so hot that I saw a dog chasing a cat chasing a mouse, and all three were walking.
It was so hot that I saw two trees fighting over a dog.
…thirstier than a dog in a fire hydrant factory.
I had surgery that implanted a dog’s olfactory glands so I could smell better. Now I have to drive with my head out the window.
why was the salad blushing?
he saw the salad dressing
why are pirates called pirates?
Because they arrrrre
Guy walks into a bar with a FROG on top of his head.
Bartender says, “Hey buddy, where did you get THAT?”
The frog says, “Well, he started out as a small BUMP on my BUTT…..!”
Guy walks into a bar with a chicken under his arm.
Bartender says, “Hey buddie, where’d you get THAT?”
the Chicken says, “Heck, walk into any bar ’round here–there’re a dime a dozen!”
Hear about the optomitrist (sp?) that fell into his lense grinder?
he made a “spectacle” of himself…..
There are 10 types of people.
those who understand binary,
and those who don’t.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
ones and zeros…. get it?
What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
and now, for a listing of my favorite T-shirts…:
“It’s not Fascism when WE do it”
Draft the Bush Twins
If it weren’t for Physics and Law Enforcement, I’d be Unstoppable
“I love New York” (written in Arabic, with the red heart and all…)
just because I don’t CARE dosen’t mean I don’t UNDERSTAND….
“When Fascism comes to America, it will be Draped in the Flag, and carrying a Cross” –Sinclare Lewis, 1938
I do all my own stunts
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my granddad.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
not Screaming in Terror like the Passengers in his car!!
Here’s a good one for English teachers…
A man who just arrived in Boston on a business trip steps out of the airport and flags a cab. The cabbie says, “Where to, pal?” The man asks, “Hey, can you tell me where I can get scrod around here?” The cabbie says, “Man, I have heard that request about a million times but that is the first time anyone has ever used the pluperfect subjunctive!”
What does a walrus have in common with tupperware?
They both like a tight seal.
I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said ‘You’ve been promoted.’ And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said “You’ve been promoted again.’ And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said ‘You’re managing director.’ And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said ‘What happened to you?’ And I said ‘I careered off the road.
I was walking down the street and I saw a guy with a crowd of people round him. The back of his anorak was jumping up and down and people were giving him money. I said to him “Wow. Do you actually make a living from that?”
He said “Yes. It’s my livelihood.”
Q: What did Chewbacca’s boss say to him when he screwed up on his first day of work?
A: It’s a wookie mistake
Q: Why was the germ mad at his wife?
A: She was a flu-zy
Q: What do the Trix Rabbit, Cap’n Crunch and Tony the Tiger fear the most?
A: Cereal killers
Q: What did the spoon say to the knife when he was mad?
A: Fork you!
Q: What kind of spirit likes to listen to the accordion?
A: Polka-geists
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese!
What’s better than a talking dog?
A spelling bee!
Where did the Napoleon keep his armies?
In his sleevies!
What does a slice of toast wear to bed?
Jammies!
What’s a ghost’s favorite food?
I-scream!
How do you make a milkshake?
Give it a good scare!
And finally… wanna hear my tortilla joke?
I must warn you, it’s really corny!
(Gosh I love cheesy jokes…)
A guy walks down the road with a fried egg on his head. Another guy asks him why he has a fried egg on his head. The guy replies, “Well if it was boiled it’d roll off”.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
The interrupting cow.
The interrupting cow wh-
MOO!
What’s Irish and hangs out in the back yard? Patty O’Furniture.
What kind of socks do pirates wear? Aaaarrrrrgyle.
There was this snail and it skids out the curve.
^g^
For those of you with short-term memory:
“Knock.”
This is a multiple choice question:
True or False?
American beer is like making love in a canoe.
It’s #@$%ing close to water.
I got a bottle of Jack Daniel’s Green Label for my mother-in-law. Was that a great trade, or what?
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
Heard during a tour of the Jack Daniel’s Distillary in Lynchburg, Tennessee, 1989:
“Man, I’d love to have a job as the whiskey-taster here!”
“No sir. That’s the worst job, because you have to spit it out. The best job is hunting for the leaks in the barrels. You can tell who he is, because at 5 o’clock, he’s the guy with a smile on his face and splinters on his lips.”
Q: How many blocks of stone did it take to finish the Washington Monument?
A: One.
I lost $20 playing poker with my cell phone.
By mistake, I called myself.
Believe it or not: The word “gullible” cannot be found in any English Dictionary.
Last joke: Human activity is the cause of global warming.
Little Audrey was walking home when a big bad man jumped out of the bushes and snarled, “Take off your panties!” But Little Audrey just laughed and laughed and laughed, because she knew they wouldn’t fit him.
I made the mistake of taking my car to a quantum mechanic. He told me my car was and wasn’t running.
So I asked if he had bothered to look under the hood. He answered “No. The act observing the motor will alter its reality dimension.”
ha ha ha
One day Little Audrey was at home playing with matches even though her mother had told her not to. Well, Audrey started the house on fire and she and her mother had to run outside. As the house was burning down, Audrey’s mother said, “Boy, is your dad going to whoop you when he gets home.” But Little Audrey just laughed and laughed and laughed, because she knew her dad had came home early for a nap.
Two Snowmen standing in a field, one turns to the other and says “Can you smell carrots?”
A neutron walks into a bar and without saying anything, the bartender pours him a beer. The neutron asks “What do i owe ya ?” the bartender then replies “For you, no charge.”
what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
Where’s my tractor?
Guy comes home, yells to his wife, “Pack your bags! I just won the lottery!”
“Where are we going?” she asks.
“What do you mean ‘we’?” he says.
World’s best joke under 30 words.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because. He was dead.
whats brown and sticky?
a poo
whats white and sticky?
an old poo
whats blue and sticky?
a smurf covered in scotch tape
Why did the little girl laugh?
Her brother farted.
Why couldn’t the little mermaid go see the new pirate movie?
Because it was rated ahrrr! lol
Two men walk into a restaurant. The waitress comes up and says to the men, “What would you like? Today, we have a new item on the menu, a cow tongue sandwich.” The 2nd man says, “I’ve never tried a cow tongue sandwich, so I’ll have one.” The first man says, “That’s disgusting! How could you ever have something as disgusting as a cow tongue sandwich, having a gross body part like that!” The waitress then asks the first man, “Well then, what would you like to order?” He replies, “I’ll have an egg salad, please.”
How many men does it take to tile a bathroom?
One, if you slice him thinly enough
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
The holocaust.
The son of a Native American chief decides to ask his father one day, “Why am I called Fallen Petal?” so the chief replies, “because just after you were born a beautiful petal fell down and landed on your head”. His other son then asks, “Why am I called Misty Raindrop?” and the chief replies, “because just after you were born on a misty day, a raindrop fell from the sky and landed on your head”. His third son asks “g=!h%b#?s!p”, the chief says: “Shut up fridge!”
what is green, has four legs, and would kill you if it fell out of a tree?
A pool table
This contest is so much more fun when you don’t replace your calendar.
I saw a dog missing a hind leg. Although he could run as well as the other dogs, I wondered how he pees.
You’ll never see your own face.
What would happen if you sneezed in reverse?
If you had a nose on each side of your head, could you smell in stereo?
A mirror reflects right to left, but if you look into the mirror while lying on your side, it reflects up to down.
I bought some new vinyl windows for my house. I can’t see through ‘em. Next time I’ll order glass ones.
Came home yesterday. The toilet had backed down. My house was spotless.
Anagram “Say No To Crack” and add another “c” and you get “Tacky Raccoons.” Go Google.
P.S. If any of you see Anita B. tell her Bunky said hi.
Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.
I know it’s over but…
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a Grocery bag??
One is made from plastic and dangerous to young children…
the other holds groceries.
Ginger(thiers this band that iv’e started to like called simply red
I don’t know why.
Its like it’s just come of the top of my head!
You have to say this to an annoying person no 1 likes.
Man ________ you so stupid u cant get into the dumb class
lol it was funnier when i said it to that b^tch
Never leave alphabet soup boiling on the stove when you go out. It could spell disaster!
Venison’s dear, isn’t it?
[...] how I got indirectly sucked into blogging. Neatorama posted a link to a joke contest in 2007 that I couldn’t pass up. Anita Bath asked if I’d like to be a guest poster, [...]
What did the elephant say to the naked man on the corner?
Can you breathe through that?
What’s brown and sticky?
A STICK!!