Florida (Strutts News Services) - Construction of the world’s largest miniature golf course began last week on the outskirts of Hacalugi, FL. Mr. Lannie Foosers, president of of Foosers Excavation, described the project as, “a virtual act of God. This is gonna be the greatest putt-putt golf course the world has ever seen, and we’re only on the first hole.”
However, construction has been temporarily halted. Hacalugi Councilwoman Tooncie Crumbler acknowledged the difficulties in getting approvals for the process. “It’s already a redevelopment district, so any improvement is, well, an improvement. After all, the first tee is a little over a quarter mile away. That’s a lot of land to manage.”
When asked about the schedule for the GMGC (Great Miniature Golf Course), Ms. Crumbler explained that the Hacalugi City Council was still working with the FAA to get approvals for a 422-foot tall windmill for the park. “Then, we’ll go on to the second hole,” explained Councilwoman Crumbler. “I hear that the par is going to be very challenging, but once you get to the green, no putters, no problem.”
The “Great Putt-Putt”, as it is known locally, is scheduled to officially open to the public sometime this century, maybe sooner. Or not.
From what I can tell, Anita has been practically living at work over the past week. After exchanging a couple short IMs, this is the story I pieced together:
OK, so I might have added a couple few minor details, and Anita’s boss might be a little taller, but otherwise it’s factual.
I found this old cassette (does anyone still remember cassettes? 8-tracks? Vinyl records? 45’s? 78’s?) in my garage. It was barely playable, especially because I don’t have a cassette player anymore. I think it might be a bootleg recording because both sides had this same song:
Over and over and over. And over. Nevertheless, I think that Anita did a good vocal on the song, even though I have no idea what the song is about. YOU ROCK, BATH GIRL! (I just know she’s gonna smack me for this one.)
The actual recording posted here was of Ada Jones and the Victor Light Orchestra. AJ was a hottie in her day, unlike Mr. Victor. There are several more downloadable songs from the early 1900’s available for free at foldedspace. These are recordings that made your great-grandmother get all jumpy-and-jivey, until your great-grampa told her to hush up and sit down and, “Don’t make a spectacle out of yourself. What’s for supper?”
Understand that these recordings were MECHANICAL recordings. No electricity, all vibration, which meant that the singers and musicians had to play LOUDLY. The Victorolas that the slate discs were played on operated by vibrations also, and there was no volume control except to close the “speaker” cabinet. And the Victor Light Orchestra was the house band for what would become RCA Victor Records. Yep. THAT RCA.
It’s pretty rare to find a prank that actually helps someone, particularly the homeless. I thought the following video was both funny and touching. If you’re looking to pull off a prank and feel good about it, this may be the inspiration you need:
If you saw these at your local grocery store, what would you think?
If you’re like me, you’d probably think “What is a grocery store doing selling something like that!?” Oddly though, the grocery store is exactly where you may someday be able to buy this strange invention … the Banana Bunker:
Imagine the progress humans could have made if the Banana Bunker was invented sooner! We need to stop letting our fruits and vegetables go naked, and start providing the protection they deserve. Are we so barbaric that we cannot come up with a way to package every single naturally occuring food?
Come on inventors, time to get creative … I’ll pay my $4.99 in advance to reserve a Kumqwat Bunker.
This picture has almost nothing to do with the following joke, other than the setting. I just thought it was a funny way to advertise chicken:
I’ve always loved smart jokes, and usually I am amused by blonde jokes (my son and half the people in my extended family are either blonde or used to be). Since smart and blonde jokes are usually mutually exclusive, I was thrilled to receive this rare gem from MC at Culture Kills:
Setup: A middle-aged lawyer and an attractive blonde woman are sitting next to each other on a long flight from New York to London. The blonde is trying to get a little sleep, while the lawyer is vainly attempting to impress the blonde with his wit and intelligence. The blonde ignores the lawyer until he suggests a little wager.
Lawyer: Would you like to play a game? I’ll first ask you a question. If you can’t answer it, using any means at your disposal, you give me $5. Then if I can’t answer one of your questions, I’ll give you $500. Blonde: Sure, why not? Lawyer: Great. What’s the circumference of the earth? Blonde (after quietly handing him $5 from her purse): OK, my turn. What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down the hill with four?
The lawyer is stumped. He starts jotting down ideas, searches the net via the plane’s in-seat phone, then finally calls up a few friends, all without any luck. After over an hour, he finally wakes up the blonde and hands her $500.
She thanks him for the money and closes her eyes, but the lawyer can’t contain himself: “Wait! You’ve gotta tell me, what was the answer???” Without a word, she reaches into her purse and hands him another $5, then lays down and falls back asleep.
Surprisingly, these are un-photoshopped images of real trees:
In the 1920’s, a farmer in Hillmar CA began humilating some sycamores on his property. Axel Erlandson continued his mad arborist experiments for 40 years. 75 trees later, God nailed him for being a wise guy.
Erlandson’s “circus trees” were popular, and just like any decent circus, travelled around a bit before finally settling down for retirement at the Bonfante Gardens in Gilroy, California. More photos and history can be found here.
Subscribe Now!
