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Funny Google search phrases

If you run a website, you’ve probably looked through the logs to see how people reached your site. Out of curiousity today, I checked how people reached Say No to Crack from Google. Given that we’re a humor site (or at least try to be), I was expecting something random and funny. I wasn’t let down.

Bart at Blackboard

First, here’s a few searches that made sense:

  • Crazy celebrity baby names – Wow … we had a post entitled What’s up with Crazy celebrity baby names! Funny how that works. ๐Ÿ˜‰
  • Say No to Crack – A much more popular search phrase than we’d expect.
  • Kung fu baby – Yes, we posted a video of a Kung Fu Baby. Pretty funny/cute little baby.

There were also some search phrases that certainly were a bit of a stretch:

  • Redneck contest pictures – We never used the term ‘redneck’, which means there must be a shortage of Redneck Contests. If you have a site and want extra readers, this may be your ticket to internet stardom.
  • Would you want to be immortal? – We did ask you What superpower would you Choose, but it seems like a strange question to ask Google.
  • Free geometry websites for 9th graders – This was my biggest surprise. Over 500 people searching for something related to Geometry landed on our page in the past 7 days alone. Hopefully these students found other sites as well, as our High School Geometry Test probably didn’t help them improve their grades!

Now the funny ones. There were over a thousand searchers who typed in something completely random to get here. These must be the folks who scroll to page 387 of the Google search results and randomly pick a site, since most of these have NOTHING to do with Say No to Crack:

  • did your wife really fart – I’m sure we don’t have the answer!
  • pictures of really funny looking monkeys – luckily none of us posted our pictures, or this person would have had what they wanted
  • top 100 things yoda might say in bed – such as “Yessss, forget to brush my teeth I did”?
  • what would it look like to have your sinuses ripped out – YUCK!
  • how to send subliminal messages on myspace“be my friend”, “be my friend”, “be my friend” always works for me
  • pregnant fart gas – 2 people actually typed in this one, I don’t even want to know why
  • marry your cousin – looking for a how to?
  • how to say aunt in norwegian – apparently it is tanten, now you know (haha on me: a Norwegian reader pointed out it’s “tante”)
  • my farts stink – and they were trying to find out who else shares their ‘problem’?
  • what happens when you dont bath – a hint: limburger cheese can be cultivated from humans too
  • how do you make real friends – possibly from the same kid who asked the prior question?
  • elvis is the worst roommate – pmmm … this person seems to have insider information
  • delete friends harddrive practical joke – suuuurrre … sounds like a nice harmless little prank

What did you think? Also, if you have a website and check these statistics, do you get equally random keyword search referrals through Google, or were these particularly strange?

17 Responses to “Funny Google search phrases”

  1. on 05 Dec 2006 at 3:25 am รƒหœyvind

    “how to say aunt in norwegian – apparently it is tanten, now you know”
    As a Norwegian, I know that it is “Tante”, not “Tanten” ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. on 05 Dec 2006 at 7:41 am Mr. Fabulous

    Yes. Yes I am. How DO I marry my cousin?

  3. on 05 Dec 2006 at 2:42 pm d_

    And this is exactly why none of the browsers I use send referers.

    I like my weird searches involving monkeys, thank you.

  4. on 05 Dec 2006 at 8:42 pm Miss Cellania

    I posted a list of things Yoda says “in bed”, once. I bet thats what they were looking for.

  5. on 05 Dec 2006 at 10:44 pm panthergirl

    Hey, thanks for the comment on MyBlogLog.

    One of the most common search terms that brings people to my other blog, The Dog’s Breakfast, is: Kathy Lee Braless. WHY oh why would anyone want to see that?? And they aren’t going to see it on my blog, I assure you.

  6. on 06 Dec 2006 at 12:58 pm prying1

    Most of the hits I get are pretty straight forward and make sense for what I have written and posted. I do get a few hits of people looking for naked nazis (worded various ways and the Google hits are far from number 1) which directs them to a posting I did concerning a friend’s aunt escaping from Nazi Germany.

    What sort of twisted brains look for naked nazis???

  7. on 06 Dec 2006 at 1:17 pm Anita Bath

    panthergirl – I’m definitely glad your site doesn’t provide them what they are looking for … come on, Kathy Lee? I’m sure some sick person is searching for Barbara Bush in the same attire as well …

    prying1 – wow, that is twisted!

  8. on 06 Dec 2006 at 1:47 pm Leslie

    Most of my Google Search phrases involve “mommy” and “boobs.” Apparently, mommy’s boobs are what’s hot right now.

  9. on 08 Dec 2006 at 1:08 am Gregory

    How do you find out how people reached your site?

  10. on 11 Dec 2006 at 9:40 am Jeremy Stratton

    Gregory->Google analytics

  11. on 14 Dec 2006 at 4:21 pm cici

    yo crazii

  12. on 11 May 2007 at 5:55 pm Robin

    I found the link from

  13. […] are lots of posts out there about quirky, strange, and ridiculous terms that people plug into search engines, which in turn refer them to blogs. I […]

  14. on 25 Sep 2007 at 10:01 am The Doctor


  15. on 09 Dec 2007 at 9:38 pm Ally Nasar

    haha! I found this site my searching cell phone charms, I ended up finding that golden chinesse poop thing and for some reason clicked it…

  16. on 02 Mar 2008 at 2:58 am Zen

    Good advise :o)

  17. on 30 Jul 2008 at 5:04 pm Tom Raywood

    Try this:


    Tom Raywood

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