Say No to Crack » Blog Archive » Funny Google search phrases

Funny Google search phrases

December 4th, 2006 by Anita Bath

If you run a website, you’ve probably looked through the logs to see how people reached your site. Out of curiousity today, I checked how people reached Say No to Crack from Google. Given that we’re a humor site (or at least try to be), I was expecting something random and funny. I wasn’t let down.

Bart at Blackboard

First, here’s a few searches that made sense:

Crazy celebrity baby names - Wow … we had a post entitled What’s up with Crazy celebrity baby names! Funny how that works.
Say No to Crack - A much more popular search phrase than we’d expect.
Kung fu baby - Yes, we posted a video of a Kung Fu Baby. Pretty funny/cute little baby.

There were also some search phrases that certainly were a bit of a stretch:

Redneck contest pictures - We never used the term ‘redneck’, which means there must be a shortage of Redneck Contests. If you have a site and want extra readers, this may be your ticket to internet stardom.
Would you want to be immortal? - We did ask you What superpower would you Choose, but it seems like a strange question to ask Google.
Free geometry websites for 9th graders - This was my biggest surprise. Over 500 people searching for something related to Geometry landed on our page in the past 7 days alone. Hopefully these students found other sites as well, as our High School Geometry Test probably didn’t help them improve their grades!

Now the funny ones. There were over a thousand searchers who typed in something completely random to get here. These must be the folks who scroll to page 387 of the Google search results and randomly pick a site, since most of these have NOTHING to do with Say No to Crack:

did your wife really fart - I’m sure we don’t have the answer!
pictures of really funny looking monkeys - luckily none of us posted our pictures, or this person would have had what they wanted
top 100 things yoda might say in bed - such as “Yessss, forget to brush my teeth I did”?
what would it look like to have your sinuses ripped out - YUCK!
how to send subliminal messages on myspace - “be my friend”, “be my friend”, “be my friend” always works for me
pregnant fart gas - 2 people actually typed in this one, I don’t even want to know why
marry your cousin - looking for a how to?
how to say aunt in norwegian - apparently it is tanten, now you know (haha on me: a Norwegian reader pointed out it’s “tante”)
my farts stink - and they were trying to find out who else shares their ‘problem’?
what happens when you dont bath - a hint: limburger cheese can be cultivated from humans too
how do you make real friends - possibly from the same kid who asked the prior question?
elvis is the worst roommate - pmmm … this person seems to have insider information
delete friends harddrive practical joke - suuuurrre … sounds like a nice harmless little prank

What did you think? Also, if you have a website and check these statistics, do you get equally random keyword search referrals through Google, or were these particularly strange?

Posted in Musings, Original |

17 Responses to “Funny Google search phrases”

on 05 Dec 2006 at 3:25 am Øyvind

“how to say aunt in norwegian - apparently it is tanten, now you know”
As a Norwegian, I know that it is “Tante”, not “Tanten”
on 05 Dec 2006 at 7:41 am Mr. Fabulous

Yes. Yes I am. How DO I marry my cousin?
on 05 Dec 2006 at 2:42 pm d_

And this is exactly why none of the browsers I use send referers.

I like my weird searches involving monkeys, thank you.
on 05 Dec 2006 at 8:42 pm Miss Cellania

I posted a list of things Yoda says “in bed”, once. I bet thats what they were looking for.
on 05 Dec 2006 at 10:44 pm panthergirl

Hey, thanks for the comment on MyBlogLog.

One of the most common search terms that brings people to my other blog, The Dog’s Breakfast, is: Kathy Lee Braless. WHY oh why would anyone want to see that?? And they aren’t going to see it on my blog, I assure you.
on 06 Dec 2006 at 12:58 pm prying1

Most of the hits I get are pretty straight forward and make sense for what I have written and posted. I do get a few hits of people looking for naked nazis (worded various ways and the Google hits are far from number 1) which directs them to a posting I did concerning a friend’s aunt escaping from Nazi Germany.

What sort of twisted brains look for naked nazis???
on 06 Dec 2006 at 1:17 pm Anita Bath

panthergirl - I’m definitely glad your site doesn’t provide them what they are looking for … come on, Kathy Lee? I’m sure some sick person is searching for Barbara Bush in the same attire as well …

prying1 - wow, that is twisted!
on 06 Dec 2006 at 1:47 pm Leslie

Most of my Google Search phrases involve “mommy” and “boobs.” Apparently, mommy’s boobs are what’s hot right now.
on 08 Dec 2006 at 1:08 am Gregory

How do you find out how people reached your site?
on 11 Dec 2006 at 9:40 am Jeremy Stratton

Gregory->Google analytics http://www.google.com/analytics
on 14 Dec 2006 at 4:21 pm cici

yo crazii
on 11 May 2007 at 5:55 pm Robin

I found the link from i-am-bored.com
on 29 Jun 2007 at 5:11 am Living Behind The Curve » Increase Your Site Traffic Without Even Trying (Stupid Walrus Edition)

[...] are lots of posts out there about quirky, strange, and ridiculous terms that people plug into search engines, which in turn refer them to blogs. I [...]
on 25 Sep 2007 at 10:01 am The Doctor

WHAT THE FO?
on 09 Dec 2007 at 9:38 pm Ally Nasar

haha! I found this site my searching cell phone charms, I ended up finding that golden chinesse poop thing and for some reason clicked it…
on 02 Mar 2008 at 2:58 am Zen

Good advise :o)
on 30 Jul 2008 at 5:04 pm Tom Raywood

Try this:

GFGYoYoYoYiggle

Tom Raywood