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Funny Google search phrases

If you run a website, you’ve probably looked through the logs to see how people reached your site. Out of curiousity today, I checked how people reached Say No to Crack from Google. Given that we’re a humor site (or at least try to be), I was expecting something random and funny. I wasn’t let down.

Bart at Blackboard

First, here’s a few searches that made sense:

  • Crazy celebrity baby names - Wow … we had a post entitled What’s up with Crazy celebrity baby names! Funny how that works. ;)
  • Say No to Crack - A much more popular search phrase than we’d expect.
  • Kung fu baby - Yes, we posted a video of a Kung Fu Baby. Pretty funny/cute little baby.

There were also some search phrases that certainly were a bit of a stretch:

  • Redneck contest pictures - We never used the term ‘redneck’, which means there must be a shortage of Redneck Contests. If you have a site and want extra readers, this may be your ticket to internet stardom.
  • Would you want to be immortal? - We did ask you What superpower would you Choose, but it seems like a strange question to ask Google.
  • Free geometry websites for 9th graders - This was my biggest surprise. Over 500 people searching for something related to Geometry landed on our page in the past 7 days alone. Hopefully these students found other sites as well, as our High School Geometry Test probably didn’t help them improve their grades!

Now the funny ones. There were over a thousand searchers who typed in something completely random to get here. These must be the folks who scroll to page 387 of the Google search results and randomly pick a site, since most of these have NOTHING to do with Say No to Crack:

  • did your wife really fart - I’m sure we don’t have the answer!
  • pictures of really funny looking monkeys - luckily none of us posted our pictures, or this person would have had what they wanted
  • top 100 things yoda might say in bed - such as “Yessss, forget to brush my teeth I did”?
  • what would it look like to have your sinuses ripped out - YUCK!
  • how to send subliminal messages on myspace - “be my friend”, “be my friend”, “be my friend” always works for me
  • pregnant fart gas - 2 people actually typed in this one, I don’t even want to know why
  • marry your cousin - looking for a how to?
  • how to say aunt in norwegian - apparently it is tanten, now you know (haha on me: a Norwegian reader pointed out it’s “tante”)
  • my farts stink - and they were trying to find out who else shares their ‘problem’?
  • what happens when you dont bath - a hint: limburger cheese can be cultivated from humans too
  • how do you make real friends - possibly from the same kid who asked the prior question?
  • elvis is the worst roommate - pmmm … this person seems to have insider information
  • delete friends harddrive practical joke - suuuurrre … sounds like a nice harmless little prank

What did you think? Also, if you have a website and check these statistics, do you get equally random keyword search referrals through Google, or were these particularly strange?

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17 Responses to “Funny Google search phrases”

  1. on 05 Dec 2006 at 3:25 am Øyvind

    “how to say aunt in norwegian - apparently it is tanten, now you know”
    As a Norwegian, I know that it is “Tante”, not “Tanten” ;-)

  2. on 05 Dec 2006 at 7:41 am Mr. Fabulous

    Yes. Yes I am. How DO I marry my cousin?

  3. on 05 Dec 2006 at 2:42 pm d_

    And this is exactly why none of the browsers I use send referers.

    I like my weird searches involving monkeys, thank you.

  4. on 05 Dec 2006 at 8:42 pm Miss Cellania

    I posted a list of things Yoda says “in bed”, once. I bet thats what they were looking for.

  5. on 05 Dec 2006 at 10:44 pm panthergirl

    Hey, thanks for the comment on MyBlogLog.

    One of the most common search terms that brings people to my other blog, The Dog’s Breakfast, is: Kathy Lee Braless. WHY oh why would anyone want to see that?? And they aren’t going to see it on my blog, I assure you.

  6. on 06 Dec 2006 at 12:58 pm prying1

    Most of the hits I get are pretty straight forward and make sense for what I have written and posted. I do get a few hits of people looking for naked nazis (worded various ways and the Google hits are far from number 1) which directs them to a posting I did concerning a friend’s aunt escaping from Nazi Germany.

    What sort of twisted brains look for naked nazis???

  7. on 06 Dec 2006 at 1:17 pm Anita Bath

    panthergirl - I’m definitely glad your site doesn’t provide them what they are looking for … come on, Kathy Lee? I’m sure some sick person is searching for Barbara Bush in the same attire as well …

    prying1 - wow, that is twisted!

  8. on 06 Dec 2006 at 1:47 pm Leslie

    Most of my Google Search phrases involve “mommy” and “boobs.” Apparently, mommy’s boobs are what’s hot right now.

  9. on 08 Dec 2006 at 1:08 am Gregory

    How do you find out how people reached your site?

  10. on 11 Dec 2006 at 9:40 am Jeremy Stratton

    Gregory->Google analytics http://www.google.com/analytics

  11. on 14 Dec 2006 at 4:21 pm cici

    yo crazii

  12. on 11 May 2007 at 5:55 pm Robin

    I found the link from i-am-bored.com

  13. [...] are lots of posts out there about quirky, strange, and ridiculous terms that people plug into search engines, which in turn refer them to blogs. I [...]

  14. on 25 Sep 2007 at 10:01 am The Doctor

    WHAT THE FO?

  15. on 09 Dec 2007 at 9:38 pm Ally Nasar

    haha! I found this site my searching cell phone charms, I ended up finding that golden chinesse poop thing and for some reason clicked it…

  16. on 02 Mar 2008 at 2:58 am Zen

    Good advise :o)

  17. on 30 Jul 2008 at 5:04 pm Tom Raywood

    Try this:

    GFGYoYoYoYiggle

    Tom Raywood

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