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Archive for November, 2006

Have a witty/funny title or good explanation for the following picture?
elephant in diapers
(thanks to buhny for the pic)

Based on evidence alone, that elephant needs to quickly change both its diet and brand of diapers! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Do you ever feel like a complete stranger when you wake-up? Do you get that “who am I, where am I” feeling? I felt that way this morning, which made we wonder (after I got my bearings that is) … what would life be like if I woke up as Borat in Kazakhstan? Why Borat? Well, quite simply because he was the last thing I watched on YouTube before going to sleep last night.

In the process of considering this life altering question, I came up with the following “Top 10 signs you’ve woken up in the wrong country”:

10. You are offered raw pig and cut grass for breakfast

9. You realize that your sister is also your cousin

8. Instead of pictures, you have cow patty sculptures resembling your kids (pic courtesy chidorian)
cowpie face

7. Your second most prized possession, next to your disco shoes, is your 1982 GE AM clock radio

6. Your brother’s best man at his wedding was his pet goat

5. Your neighbor offers you 15 gallons of top shelf insecticide to marry your daughter

4. You find that a very popular local pasttime is taking pictures of women ‘making toilet’

3. Your social status affords you a seat on the side of the bus instead of on top (no more ducking under bridges!) … (pic courtesy ejaz)
packed bus

2. You are told that the local dating scene centers around matching couples by their proficiency with a hand plow

1. You learn that bathing is timed to coincide with Birthdays and important Holidays (like Christmas and Chicken Plucking Day)

If you’ve watched any Borat videos (or the Ali G show), you’ll probably recognize a few references to his schtick above. I haven’t yet seen the movie, but it looks hilarious.

I’ve got the blender blues

Like most people, I have a low-end blender. OK, REALLY low-end. It shorts and stops while trying to make smoothies, and after a few minutes everything still comes out chunky. Even worse, anything requiring serious blending tastes like burnt metal by the time it’s done. So when I saw that my brother-in-law had put a hi-tech $200 blender on his wedding registry, my curiousity got the best of me and I decided to do some research.

Amazingly, it turns out that $200 isn’t even top of the line. If you want true blending power, you need the $400 BlendTec Total Blender (and no, I am definitely not getting paid to write this). Why? Not only does it come with a 100% money back guarantee if you can’t blend ice into snow, but it can blend just about anything. Don’t believe me? Check out these short videos … they’re corny, but pretty funny/amazing:

Destroy your unlucky golf balls:
(if you can’t see this video, click here)

Make a (very untraditional) Coke smoothie:
(if you can’t see this video, click here)

Dispose of garden tools:
(if you can’t see this video, click here)

Get rid of your kid’s old marbles:
(if you can’t see this video, click here)

For now, I think I’ll save the $400 and stick with my little fire starter … but the next time I need to cover all physical traces of my existence: it’s hasta la vista Sunbeam, heeelllloooo furniture-chomping super blender! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Ready for some reader participation? Leave your answer to the following question as a comment: What did you eat for dinner tonight (or last night if you’re reading this before dinner), and what would you have rather eaten?

To start off, here’s what I had for dinner tonight (pic thanks to tspauld):
qdoba sign
Qdoba is fast food Mexican. My theory is that Qdoba puts a highly addictive but marginally legal substance in their chicken burritos … the food isn’t anything special, but this unnamed additive makes you want to come back repeatedly. There’s a whole group of us at work who go there almost every day and always say it’s the last time, but can’t stop ourselves the day after.

And here’s what I really wanted to be eating (pic thanks to hale_popoki):
qdoba
OK, maybe not pizza in the shape of a cat, but some type of big greasy pepperoni pizza. A domestic draft and some onion rings on the side would have been simply perfect. Unfortunately for my cravings, Qdoba is quick, cheap, and only 100 yards from my office. Oh well, I can dream. :)

Maybe each week we’ll post some type of random question to mix things up … what do you think?

Celebrities have a penchant for trying to one-up each other. My theory is that there’s almost no scoop in the tabloids – it’s all planted by the celebrities. In some cases the story or the celeb’s location is probably even leaked by a Public Relations (PR) person who is taking a cut of the paparazzi’s fee.

bjork swanBjork’s unforgettable swan dress? PR. Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillipe breaking up? PR. Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaugn being “caught” together over and over again? PR. Britney Spears being videotaped in all types of childish embarassing situations. PR. And most famously, Janet Jackson’s wardrobe “malfunction”? Definitely staged PR.

The common thread is that these celebrities behave erraticly when their careers are flagging. It’s not coincidence that you see Britney and the Olsen twins on the cover of the scandal sheets every other week, but never see anything juicy about rising stars like Scarlett Johansson.

Which brings me to the grand-daddy of all career saving PR stunts: naming your kid something completely bizarre. Here are some of my favorites:

  • Pilot Inspektor Lee – son of Jason Lee (of My Name is Earl) and Beth Riesgraf
  • Apple Martin – daughter of Gwynetth Paltrow and Chris Martin
  • Pirate Davis รขโ‚ฌโ€œ son of Devin and Jon Davis (of Korn)
  • Coco Arquette – daughter of Courtney Cox and David Arquette
  • Moxie CrimeFighter Jillette – son of Emily and Penn Jillette (of Penn and Teller)

How could these kids ever make it in school, let alone a public school? Even in Kindergarten, Apple would get taunted relentlessly … “Hey Apple, were your parents Bananas?”, and how do you seriously conduct an interview for a ‘Moxie CrimeFighter’?

Sure, crazy names aren’t confined to celebrities, but ex A-listers seem to have more than their fair share of them. But who knows, maybe ten years from now names like Moxie CrimeFighter and Apple will become as common as some of the “crazy” or unusual names of the past have become today.

Know someone with a funny name, or have a favorite celeb baby name not listed here? Leave a comment to let us know.

You don’t need to wait until Valentine’s Day, your Anniversary, or a Birthday to tell that special someone in your life that you love them. Now, White Castle has given you a foolproof way to say these 3 magical words any time of year:

white castle love
(thanks to Sister72 for the pic!)

If there were only White Castles in Maryland, I’d have to give this a shot! Speaking of which, have you ever given/received something strange or completely unexpected from your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend? Tell us about it!

Singing the Dollar Store blues?

So at my niece’s birthday party today, my brother asks my grandmother why she doesn’t just buy some new placemats for her kitchen table:

Brother: “Grandma, you can just go down to the Dollar Store and buy them for like a dollar!”.
Grandma (very seriously): “OH NO! I wouldn’t go back the Dollar Store, they’ve gone way too upscale for me!”

Depression era logic at its best … a smart older woman who could afford to shop at places like Pier 1 tries to reason that the rinky dink local Dollar Store is far too foo-foo. Her resoluteness made us laugh so hard that we didn’t have the courage to ruin the moment by asking where in the world she could buy her placemats that would be less “upscale”.

Nerd punk rock

I’ve been sent the following video from a couple people now … I found it pretty amusing, but maybe I’m not nerdy enough to have the same gusto for it as some of our readers, or maybe it’s because I slept through the 80’s and never went to Space Camp. If nothing else, he’s pretty good on the piano!

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

Let us know what you thought of this!

It’s almost midnight, so we are going to announce the first person who matched the most toilets to their locations … and the winner is …
Prying1!

Prying1 matched 7 of the 9 toilets! Thankfully he also chose to receive the super secret mystery prize, which we’ll have fun revealing once he receives it. An honorable mention also goes to Thao, who also matched 7 of 9 but sent in results after Prying1 … probably because of that power failure and hours of research! ๐Ÿ˜‰

If you’re curious to see the answers, click here to go to the updated original contest post and see where the toilets came from! Thanks to everyone who entered! The contest was a great success, so we’ve decided to have some type of contest every month (with a prize value of at least $20 per contest). We’ll probably announce our next contest (with a longer deadline this time) within a week, so check back often (or subscribe to our site).

If you have any ideas for cool/funny contests, or just general comments on what you thought of this one, let us know!

Cartoon of the Week: Dog eat Doug

If you have a dog, you know that they can do some of the funniest things. As a kid, my family had a huge Old English Sheepdog. She was easily the dumbest dog I ever saw … she would eat anything from lobster tails to ping pong balls to crayons (which my brother and I thought was a hoot the next day when playing in the backyard). But she was also the most fun dogs ever. Both kids and adults seem to always feel the same way as I did – they LOVE their dogs.

My love for dogs instantly drew me to the comic strip Dog eat Doug, by Brian Anderson. Brian obviously goes nuts over his dog Sophie (the main Dog in the comic), resulting in a great comic that mixes humor, cuteness, and deep insights into the inner workings of the dog’s brain (OK, I made that last part up).

Here’s a couple of Brian’s Dog eat Doug comics that I liked (cheesy title’s are mine) … thanks again Brian for letting us post these!

Tough kitty (click for full size) – totally cute
dog eat doug cute

Dog power (click for full size)
dog eat doug funny

You can view the entire archive of Dog eat Doug comics here or view Brian’s Dog eat Doug main page and blog at www.dogeatdoug.com.

Have your own funny dog stories? Share them, we love to read about silly dogs!

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