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weight on neutron starA few weeks ago, I read the following nerdy physics joke: A neutron walks into a bar and asks for a drink, the bartender hands him one and says “for you buddy … no charge”

Immediately I thought … “Wow, I can write better nerdy jokes than this!” So here’s my attempt … these are all silly little jokes I just made up:

What did one electron say to the other electron during their wedding ceremony?
How am I supposed to get close enough to kiss you if you’re always being so negative!

Why did the neutron turn down the proton’s proposal for a date?
She didn’t feel much attraction towards him.

Why did the proton turn down another proton’s proposal for a date?
She found him downright repulsive.

What’s an electron’s favorite dance move?
The electric slide of course!

And now a longer one:
A proton walks into a bar and asks for a drink, the bartender flatly says “No way”
Proton: But why not, you gave my buddy Electron a drink, and you gave one on the house to that cute neutron!
Bartender: I think you know why.
Proton: I have no idea!
Bartender: Are you sure you don’t know why?
Proton (now angry): I’M POSITIVE!!!
Bartender: Exactly, now get out here.

That’s about as creative as I can get on a Friday night … what do you think?

5 Responses to “More nerd humor, funny physics at the subatomic level”

  1. on 25 Nov 2006 at 12:25 am Diesel

    Here’s my best attempt at a quantum physics joke:

    Schrodinger brought his sick cat to the vet. The vet told him he would charge Schrodinger $200 if the cat lived, and $100 if the cat died. Schrodinger returned the next day, and the vet handed him a box containing his cat.

    “Is the cat dead or alive?” Schrodinger asked.

    The vet replied, “That’ll be $300.”

  2. on 25 Nov 2006 at 4:18 am Ko Saipetch

    This made my day 😀

  3. on 25 Nov 2006 at 6:08 pm seb

    Hahaha, Diesel busted out a joke with Schrodinger’s cat!!!! Good job.

    Yeah, those are fun! I like the electric slide one!

  4. on 25 Nov 2006 at 7:49 pm Nessa

    Very funny.

  5. on 01 Dec 2006 at 8:45 am Scott Simmons

    Only true physics geeks will get these:

    Two fermions walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, “I’ll have a gin and tonic.” The other says, “Darn it! That’s what I wanted!”

    How many theoretical quantum physicists does it take to change a light bulb?
    One. One to hold the ladder, one to turn the bulb, and one to renormalize the wave function.

    (That one kills me every time!)

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