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Are you old enough to remember when it was common for women to faint? My great-grandmother would talk about how she used to faint all the time when she was younger. Also, when my grandfather would say something disagreeable she’d complain of feeling faint (at which point the argument magically stopped).

Apparently fainting was not reserved to my great-grandmother, but was quite common prior to the past couple of decades (at least according to reliable sources such as Readers Digest and Wikipedia … hey, at least it’s not the Enquirer). Some older women are even lamenting the lost art of fainting, and with it the loss of a powerful tool in the arsenal of manipulation tricks.

Despite all such rumors to the contrary, fainting is not a completely lost art form. A type of goat, appropriately called the fainting goat, faints whenever it gets startled. Here’s the video from Google:

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

OK ladies, so if you want to practice your fainting skills, just follow the goat’s lead:

  • Find a friend, preferably not your husband, to practice with
  • Stand in a field, make funny noises, and walk in a circle
  • Have your friend chase you around with a large opened golf umbrella until you faint

Once you have the knack for fainting, you can start removing some of the props until you can faint on command. Next time your husband starts moaning that he’d rather watch football than go to your parents for dinner, BAM, on the floor. The TV will be off all night (unless of course you hadn’t yet progressed past the need for walking in circles and making funny noises, in which case he’d know your trick and lock himself in the bedroom to watch football in faint-free peace).

5 Responses to “Nothing like a fainting goat to brighten your day”

  1. on 14 Nov 2006 at 10:23 pm Roxanne

    Hmmm…. I think I’m going to have to practice that one and try it on my husband who likes to be on the computer for hours on end…

  2. on 14 Nov 2006 at 10:48 pm Nedal Nibamaso

    I have the goat that does faint. It goes milk milk for my family. We try to have it go sex with other goat but it no do no baby goat for us yet.

  3. on 15 Nov 2006 at 7:34 am Nessa

    I’m an expert at fainting now, unfortunately, everyone likes it when I faint, as I am not talking then.

  4. on 15 Nov 2006 at 10:32 pm Niessuh Maddas

    I got arrested last day of the full moon involving a can of petroleum gelly and my gota.

  5. on 16 Nov 2006 at 4:18 pm Melissa

    Fainting goats! That’s just too funny!

    I’m not sure the fainting thing would quiet my hubby. He gets annoyed when I get distracted while we’re talking, so I’m sure this would not make him happy.

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