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Do you ever feel like a complete stranger when you wake-up? Do you get that “who am I, where am I” feeling? I felt that way this morning, which made we wonder (after I got my bearings that is) … what would life be like if I woke up as Borat in Kazakhstan? Why Borat? Well, quite simply because he was the last thing I watched on YouTube before going to sleep last night.

In the process of considering this life altering question, I came up with the following “Top 10 signs you’ve woken up in the wrong country”:

10. You are offered raw pig and cut grass for breakfast

9. You realize that your sister is also your cousin

8. Instead of pictures, you have cow patty sculptures resembling your kids (pic courtesy chidorian)
cowpie face

7. Your second most prized possession, next to your disco shoes, is your 1982 GE AM clock radio

6. Your brother’s best man at his wedding was his pet goat

5. Your neighbor offers you 15 gallons of top shelf insecticide to marry your daughter

4. You find that a very popular local pasttime is taking pictures of women ‘making toilet’

3. Your social status affords you a seat on the side of the bus instead of on top (no more ducking under bridges!) … (pic courtesy ejaz)
packed bus

2. You are told that the local dating scene centers around matching couples by their proficiency with a hand plow

1. You learn that bathing is timed to coincide with Birthdays and important Holidays (like Christmas and Chicken Plucking Day)

If you’ve watched any Borat videos (or the Ali G show), you’ll probably recognize a few references to his schtick above. I haven’t yet seen the movie, but it looks hilarious.

9 Responses to “Top 10 signs you’ve woken up in the wrong country”

  1. on 10 Nov 2006 at 12:37 am Beth

    #9 could happen in any southern state in the US. Trust me.

  2. on 10 Nov 2006 at 7:56 am Jase

    Dude, your sister cannot be your cousin. Your WIFE could be your cousin perhaps thats what you meant.

  3. on 10 Nov 2006 at 8:53 am Sarah

    Jase – If your parents are also brother and sister, then your sister would be your cousin (and you’d even be your own cousin since you’d be your aunt or uncle’s kid).

  4. on 10 Nov 2006 at 9:01 am Jase

    That’s disgustingly accurate. I shall skulk off back to the nether regions of the intertube, never to disturb thee again.


  5. on 10 Nov 2006 at 5:42 pm Leon

    Very nice!

  6. on 10 Nov 2006 at 11:10 pm Maynard

    #11 would be if you wake up out on a balcony throwing pillows at pedestrians and yelling profanities. That actually happened to me. The first night spent in London after a long plane trip I woke up to my brother shaking me and everyone on the street looking and pointing. Thats some serious sleep walking! I never did handle jet lag very well…

  7. on 11 Nov 2006 at 10:53 am MerapuMan


  8. on 11 Nov 2006 at 9:03 pm Andrei

    Reading all these Borat references makes me feel somewhat ashamed. In truth I have been to the places they shot Borat, that’s in Romania. This kind of community applies to about 0.01% of our population. at the most. unfortunately this is the part people remember as well. Now for the really fun/sad part (at least for me): the village in which Borat was shot is named Moroieni. Apparently my ancestors draw their name from that place, hundreds of years ago. I ended up with Moroianu, which is half as bad, but when considering the modern references makes me think twice.

  9. on 12 Nov 2006 at 12:37 am Dzesika

    Whoa. Number seven? Totally true. Except they’re not disco shoes, they’re ballroom shoes … heheh …

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