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Like most people, I have a low-end blender. OK, REALLY low-end. It shorts and stops while trying to make smoothies, and after a few minutes everything still comes out chunky. Even worse, anything requiring serious blending tastes like burnt metal by the time it’s done. So when I saw that my brother-in-law had put a hi-tech $200 blender on his wedding registry, my curiousity got the best of me and I decided to do some research.

Amazingly, it turns out that $200 isn’t even top of the line. If you want true blending power, you need the $400 BlendTec Total Blender (and no, I am definitely not getting paid to write this). Why? Not only does it come with a 100% money back guarantee if you can’t blend ice into snow, but it can blend just about anything. Don’t believe me? Check out these short videos … they’re corny, but pretty funny/amazing:

Destroy your unlucky golf balls:
(if you can’t see this video, click here)

Make a (very untraditional) Coke smoothie:
(if you can’t see this video, click here)

Dispose of garden tools:
(if you can’t see this video, click here)

Get rid of your kid’s old marbles:
(if you can’t see this video, click here)

For now, I think I’ll save the $400 and stick with my little fire starter … but the next time I need to cover all physical traces of my existence: it’s hasta la vista Sunbeam, heeelllloooo furniture-chomping super blender! 😉

7 Responses to “I’ve got the blender blues”

  1. on 09 Nov 2006 at 12:22 pm Leon

    Who the hell would need so much blending power? You know when you’re blending vegetables and there’s that little piece that gets stuck in the blades? Yeah, don’t try to use your finger to dislodge it with this bad boy.

  2. on 09 Nov 2006 at 12:54 pm Cuppojoe

    Now that’s a Tim Taylor-level blender! Arrr, arrr, arrr!

    Dr. John sent me by to assault you with my poor “Tim the Tool Man” impression…

  3. on 09 Nov 2006 at 1:23 pm Diesel

    Sure Tom, but I’ve got a diamond the size of a grapefruit, and I need to chop it into powder before dinner. Can the BlendTec Total Blender help me with that?

  4. on 09 Nov 2006 at 4:27 pm stephanie

    Mine is low end (with ice crushing power/blade) but I still get out my hammer and smash the ice in a freezer bag before adding it to the blender. it has made the blender last a long time and I get just the right consistency…albiet with some prep on the ice. Great for the days I need a little aggressive outlet.

  5. on 09 Nov 2006 at 9:44 pm Theresa

    I just bought a new one after I tried to make a smoothie with my old one and it went all over the place….and me….and my dog….

    That is a funny post!

  6. on 09 Nov 2006 at 10:28 pm Bently

    I want one, I want one!

  7. on 04 Dec 2006 at 5:31 pm Daniel

    It’s well and fine that it can blend things like marbles and a rake handle, but is it so powerful that it can blend another blender? I’d pay to see that.

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