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Archive for October, 2006

FYI: the contest is now over, thanks to everyone who entered, we hope you enjoyed it! Prying1 won with 7 of 9 entries correct (pictures are now updated with their cities), and he chose the super secret mystery prize (which we’ll reveal once he receives it).

OK, so we’re trying something different today. A good friend of mine always wants us to post more toilet humor … in the literal sense. Last week he suggested we post a toilet quiz, and sent me tons of toilet pics. Initially this sounded a little strange, so to make it more interesting I’m offering $20 to the winner.

Here’s how you play: There are 9 pictures of toilets and 12 geographic locations below. Add a comment to this post matching each toilet number with each location letter. The first person to correctly match each toilet with a location will be recognized here and receive one of the following prizes (of their choosing):

  • $20 cash
  • A $20 gift card of their choice
  • A completely random $20 gift from us – we recommend you choose this option (when was the last time you were sent a surprise gift from a website?)

Bring on the toilets (click picture to see larger version):

1. Modern
(Amsterdam)
modern toilet
2. Don’t look down
(Ecuador)
yucky toilet
3. Avant Garde
(London)
avante garde toilet
4. Stainless
(New York Staten Island Ferry)
stainless toilet
5. Loo w/ a view
(Norway)
loo with a view
6. Floor model
(Tokyo)
floor model toilet
7. Posh pooper
(Baghdad)
posh toilet
8. Clearly communal
(Switzerland)
clear toilet
9. Calm
(Thailand)
clam toilet

Now just match the above pics to these locations:

  • A. Baghdad
  • B. Tokyo
  • C. Switzerland
  • D. New York
  • E. Thailand
  • F. Mexico City
  • G. London
  • H. Chicago
  • I. Norway
  • J. Ecuador
  • K. Amsterdam
  • L. Moscow

Please let us know what you think of our contest idea, with enough interest we’ll conduct other silly (non-toilet) contests in the future. A winner will be selected no matter what – if nobody matches all toilets correctly, we’ll select the person who was closest.

If you enjoyed this, send to a friend or subscribe to our site (below) for fun updates every day :)

We’re preparing for a fun little contest tomorrow (with a real cash prize!), but in the meantime I thought I’d share the following video. Given the positive response (both in comments and e-mails) on the Schnappi video, I thought you might like this as well:

(If you can’t see the video, click here)

If you’re an egghead like me, you might also like The Gamma Song. Warning – this is definitely not suitable for Physics/Math haters 😉

Check back tomorrow for our contest!

Do you use MySpace, Friendster, Yahoo 360, or other social networking sites? If so, have you been able to make real friends on them? I had never tried, so with the urging of a few friends I signed up for MySpace as an experiment, simply using Anita as my screen name.

I was anxious to see how many ‘friends’ I could make. To get rolling quickly, I updated the default profile with my name, location, and literally the first picture in this computer’s ‘My Documents’ folder:
kid in toilet
(OK, so maybe you can already guess the outcome of my little experiment based on my choice of pictures, but since I didn’t know a thing about these sites I wasn’t about to use my real picture yet)

Initially, I decided it would be best to act particularly friendly by accepting any and all friend requests. Within hours, I received my first friend invitation. Wow, that was quick! After accepting, I also received my first comment ‘Hey, why don’t you post some real pictures … I bet you’re hot’.

Apparently guaging each other’s “hotness” is a major purpose of the site, or at least the outcome when you use a picture of a toilet in your profile. Within 2 weeks, I had a colorful array of over 90 friends with names such as Boob, BooB (who didn’t appear related to the first friend), I love Superman, and Toilet. I also became friends with a bunch of bands I had never heard of, some of which had over 10,000 friends … pretty popular bands I guess!

After my circle of friends grew to such proportions, I thought I might as well be social and chat with them. When I left messages for the ladies, they didn’t really say much back. I guess Boob and I weren’t such good friends after all! When I said hi to the guys, they were far more friendly … but more in the “Hey, send me some dirty pictures and then let’s meet” sense than the “what’s happening, tell me a little about yourself” type of introduction that I was expecting.

My experiment ended almost as soon as it started. After a couple weeks, I decided to start introducing myself to other people. Over a couple days, I invited about 50 over-18 folks to be my friend – all of whom appeared to be a little more reserved than my original bunch. 20 or 30 accepted too, but the next day I receive a message from MySpace saying that my account has been deleted because I was spamming their users.

Good thing too … I would have been the MySpace equivalent to playing Parcheesi with your grandparents – who needs such boredom when our kids have fun friends like Boob, BooB, and Toilet to chat with.

friendster patent
(thanks to Chris Pirillo and Brad Fitzpatrick for the comic … BTW – Friendster actually DID recently patent the process of making friends online, look out MySpace!)

Kung fu baby

Some pregnant women tell me that their unborn child must be doing gymnastics while in utero. Others say the kids are going to be boxers they hit the mother so much.

Still other babies are born with gifts that take others decades to master. Much to the mother’s dismay, the baby in this clip must have spent months perfecting these moves before birth. I’m not sure if this baby is practicing to be a Jedi Knight or Kung Fu master …

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

On the other hand, what about the babies who don’t move around much? I don’t typically hear those kids being typecasted into future roles, such as “my unborn son seems to lay around and sleep all day, just like his dad”, or a nicer “I think my unborn daughter will be an office worker, she isn’t too active”.

Think how strange the world would be if our parents chose our future career paths before we were born? We’d probably have a society made up of 80% professional athletes, 10% doctors, and then everyone else … hope you like sports!

Thoughts? Let us know!

crazy alienApril Fools day and Halloween: the two big days of the year when folks look to pull off pranks. Unfortunately, many pranks attempted by adults on Halloween are of the cheesy store-bought variety (e.g. fake hand in a candy bin), while many pranks performed by kids are borderline criminal.

To help everyone out this year, we decided to put together the top 10 list of relatively harmless pranks. These are all meant to have both the prankster and the ‘victim’ laughing after the prank is over, with no damage to property or health. Some of these can be performed any time of the year as well, but why wait?

BTW – thanks to creativity+ for the pic!

10. Fake Bumper sticker (kids or adults)
Print out a fake ‘HONK IF/FOR …’ bumper sticker then tape it with scotch/masking tape to someone’s bumper. If you’re stumped for ideas, here’s a sample bumper sticker – just fold in half and tape. The idea is to write something that will cause lots of people to honk. If you’re a kid, try doing this to your own parents and see if they say anything after they come home from work. If you’re an adult, perform to one of your coworkers. This isn’t really a Halloween prank, just fun.

9. Pumpkin trading (for kids)
Smashing pumpkins is not a prank – it’s vandalism. Besides, it’s very unoriginal and not really funny. This prank is far better, and doesn’t create swarms of angry homeowners. Here’s the basic principal: swap people’s pumpkins. This may sound lame at first, but it can be pretty funny. Take a pumpkin from one house and put it on another’s porch, repeat. You can put them in funny places or right in front of the door, put funny notes on them (“Your pumpkin has been abducted, here are my demands…”), replace candles with stuff (e.g. fake mice, pumpkin pie filling), draw pictures on them, etc. To see their reaction, ring the doorbell, run, and watch from a distance.

8. Yard Bum (adults)
Dress up like a bum and stumble onto a neighbor’s front lawn (even better if they’re a friend). Make sure you are unrecognizable, or that it’s dark. Take a 1 liter bottle of water wrapped in a brown paper bag for effect. After wandering aimlessly like you’ve had a few too many drinks, and after making sure they’ve noticed you, drop onto their front lawn or front porch. You could act passed out, or just not move much except for taking drinks from your bagged water. Obviously if they act like they’re gonna call the police, clue them in (unless your local police have a sense of humor) … otherwise just have fun as they yell/look out the window.

7. Caramel onions (adults)
The basis of this prank is to cover peeled onions, instead of apples, with caramel and then put on a stick. Since you might get other parents mad at you if you give these out to other kids, this works best as a prank against your own kids (or coworkers/friends). There’s endless variations here. For example, if they come home with a caramel apple, tell them you have to wait until the next day to eat it so you can inspect the apple to make sure it’s OK. After they go to bed, replace their apples with caramel onions. You’ll both get a laugh, and it will help enforce the “Don’t eat anything that isn’t factory sealed” rule that most parents now have on Halloween. Even better, one guy suggested bringing the onions to an adult Halloween party and having a ‘caramel apple eating contest’. :)

6. Stalker (kids or adults)
Good for kids or adults. Wear a scary costume that covers your face and find a group of kids to follow at a distance (slightly older kids work best). For a while, don’t get closer than one or two houses. Slowly get closer, until they start getting scared and recognize your costume. Finally, when they go into a house, stand on the porch and scare them when they come out. They’ll likely scream, but they also won’t be able to run away since they’re still in the house. If they’re younger than teens, you definitely want to take your mask off and say Happy Halloween (and possibly even give them some candy) … timing is everything on this one.

5. Pizza delivery trick or treat (adults)
On halloween, order a pizza right around trick or treating time. When he shows up, give him some candy and compliment him on his costume. When he then says something like “Uh, no … here’s your pizza ma’am”, say “WOW, most people just take the candy and run, you’re doing a great impersonation. Well, Happy Halloween, and have fun!” – then close the door. Open it soon afterwards and get a good laugh as you buy your pizza.

4. Polka dotted house (kids)
Egging houses is another non-prank that many kids perform on Halloween. Most kids don’t realize that when eggs can rot and cause permanent damage to some homes, and are just a royal pain to cleanup. Toilet Papering is slightly better, but unoriginal and awful after it rains. A better option is to polka dot a house. Get circular colored construction paper (or cut circles out of regular construction paper), put double sided tape on the back, and stick to a friend/neighbor’s home (if you put the tape on beforehand cover it with wax paper so it doesn’t lose its stickiness). The more the better. They’ll be totally confused and likely get a great laugh the next day (as will all the neighbors).

3. Christmas Caroling (kids)
Dress up as christmas carolers, take a hat with a sign that says “tips” (or “tips for college fund”, or if you’re bad singers “we stop singing for tips”), and do christmas carols from house to house. Sound lame? Not after you get money, and not as you watch the person open the door in complete confusion. Would probably work better in a wealthier neighborhood where you have a chance of actually being given money.

2. Total Darkness (kids or adults)
Here’s an oldie that still works great. Get a bunch of large black garbage bags and scotch tape. Tape the black plastic garbage bags to the doorway of someone’s door with the scotch tape. Ring the doorbell and watch from a distance. This prank is not funny on older or disabled homeowners, but great on family/friends/neighbors. If you feel like sticking around, video tape it for laughs on both sides afterwards.

1. Statue (kids or adults)
Stand completely still in someone’s front lawn or sidewalk. Don’t move at all. See how long it takes for them to come out and see if something’s wrong, start yelling, or send their kids out. When they get really close, yell “BOO!” Works best if you have a costume where they can’t see your face. Why is this #1? Because it will make them jump almost every time.

Have any others? How about cubicle/work pranks? Has someone performed a prank on you that you thought was pretty funny? Let us know!

I have a theory – if you ever want to learn a foreign language, do so by watching lots of foreign TV. This theory is entirely based upon a guy I met at school who didn’t know a single word of English on day 1 of orientation and by graduation he could speak perfect English without an accent. His secret – he watched 4-6 hours of TV every single day (for the first year with the subtitles on). Oddly, he said he learned best from odd cartoons, bad soap operas, and commercials.

To test my theory, try watching this catchy German cartoon:

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

So, which would you rather do:

  • sit in a classroom and listen to Helga say “Wiederholung nach mir: Ich muß baden und rasieren.” (repeat after me: I need to bathe and shave)
  • Watch Schnappi sing about biting her mom and dad’s leg

Hopefully you all picked option #2. In fact, after watching this cute video you probably know enough German to blend in with the locals (only because Germans don’t talk much).

Wondering what the words mean? Here’s the first verse:
I am Schnappi, the little crocodile,
I live in Egypt, right next to the Nile,
first I lived in an egg,
but then shnapped my way free

Schni-schnai-schnappi schnappi-schnappi-schnapp – this doesn’t mean anything, it’s just supposed to be funny. Shoot, now I have this song in my head …

Quick fart jokes

It seems that almost everyone secretly likes fart jokes. Parents who feel obligated to give their kids the dirty eye when presented with some made up story of Johnny breaking wind in class may be telling the same joke to like minded coworkers the next day.

I have no idea what makes these jokes so funny, but we laugh nevertheless. We’ve included a few of our favorite fart jokes below, and hope you have some to contribute as well.

What would you call the definition of surprise?
A fart with a lump in it.

Why do farts stink?
So that deaf people can enjoy them also!

How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose?
If she farts, her ankles swell.

If you’re American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you when you’re in the bathroom?
Eur-o-pean.

What’s invisible and smells like carrots? (this was from a kid)
Bunny farts

How can you tell if a scuba diver ripped one?
Apparently he’ll look like this:
Fart in wetsuit
(thanks to ricmcarthur for this rather bizarre picture … maybe this costume is really meant to ensure he can survive Halloween?)

Finally, a little bit longer one:
Doctor: “So what seems to be the problem?”
Patient: “Doc, I’ve got really bad gas … I just fart all the time”
Doctor: “Hmmm, ok … go on”
Patient: “My farts do not stink and make no sound, but it’s rather alarming that I’m cranking them out all the time. We’ve been here for five minutes and I’ve farted six times. And as I stated, you couldn’t hear or smell them, right?”
Doctor: Picks up his pad and paper, then says “Hmmm … here’s a prescription I want you to fill.”
Patient: “This is GREAT doc! This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?”
Doctor: “No,” sighs the Doctor, “The prescription is to clear your sinuses. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test.”

Have some fart jokes (or similar jokes) that you like? Send them in a comment!

This is the 2nd (and final) part to our celebrity look-a-like post. If you haven’t viewed it already, check out the first part here for the background and to see some rather funny results from our facial recognition search at MyHeritage.com. For example, we found that the purple Teletubby looks just like Lance Bass – this hardly seems a coincidence!

Like Yesterday, we’ll start off with a couple of our more obvious findings and move to the more ridiculous …

George Bush:


For some reason, almost every politician looks like other politicians on the MyHeritage site. The facial recognition software easily picked up the “I don’t know anything” frown on the President’s face to identify him, and found him an equally unhappy crowd with whom to associate.

Michael Jackson

Wait, he’s human? Could have fooled us. Not surprisingly, MyHeritage couldn’t find a single man (amongst it’s 2,000+ celebrities catalogued) who looked like Michael Jackson. If Calista Flockhart couldn’t find a good reason to eat before, her eerie resemblance to Wacko Jacko should provide ample incentive to start packing on some much needed weight.

Smiley Face

Who knew Ozzy was so happy! The other actresses are all known for their smiles, although we don’t see much of a resemblance past there. I guess the moral is that if you want to get mistaken for someone famous, always wear a smile.

Frowny Face

Poor Sarah Jessica Parker lost her starring TV role, Marion Jones still can’t shake her drug rap, Pedro Martinez is unable to help his Mets in the Series, and Ludacris is just generally an unhappy dude. Seems like they all have something to frown about …

Funny Looking Monkey

Once again, MyHeritage hit the nail on the head. Nick Nolte certainly looks like he’s a couple steps behind in the evolutionary foot race, L Ron Hubbard was simply bananas, and Will Ferrell’s antics (and faces) easily classify him as a bit of a baboon.

Thanks for all the comments and e-mails, keep them coming!

lance the teletubbyVH1’s blog ran a story on part 1 of our celebrity look-a-likes post today (click here to read their take on our comparisons). They altered Lance Bass’s now infamous People magazine cover to look like the Teletubby we found him to closely resemble.

We thought the results of their photoshop work were pretty funny (picture to the left).

Have you ever wanted to see who you look like? Over the past few months, thousands have uploaded their pictures and shared their celebrity look-a-likes from MyHeritage. This isn’t one of those face recognition sites from a few years ago where you wait a couple minutes for it to popup a picture of a monkey’s butt, MyHeritage actually has good results.

Skeptical? So were we, so to determine just how accurate MyHeritage is, we decided to see if it could recognize some famous faces. We uploaded hundreds of pictures of famous folks (only a few are shown here), and are displaying the top 4 matches in order of resemblance returned by MyHeritage for each uploaded picture (our only alteration is that we removed some foreign and unknown celebs).

First – the ever elegant and beautiful Scarlett Johanson:


Scarlett once said that she looked more like one of the Hanson brothers than a model, but MyHeritage shows otherwise. As expected, she looked most like herself, and then a couple other starlets.

The Presidential Bill Clinton

No one ever claimed the President to be a movie star, but WOW … office work must not have been his thing. Maybe the president had other things on his mind, or just wasn’t very good looking to start. We decided to dig a little further …

The real Bill Clinton? After getting lei’d

Maybe the saying “You look your best when you’re doing what you do best” is true, that or the president used his presidential powers to get some good coverage in MyHeritage. Interestingly enough, of the hundred or so comparisons we performed, this was the only one where a famous person didn’t look most like themselves. Maybe this gives him an alibi – “It wasn’t me, it was my stunt double – here’s the proof!”

Teletubby

Years ago, there was some debate about the gender and appropriateness of certain teletubbies. Recently, there was similar speculation (and confirmation) regarding Lance Bass of N’Sync. Hmmm… coincidence?

Gollum – the next teen idol?

We didn’t think that Gollum would look like any celebrities (most cartoon and 3D characters did not, including the Flintstones, Simpsons, Sponge Bob, and Mighty Mouse). So we were a bit surprised when our favorite little cave dweller turned out to look like a teen idol, politician, and used-to-be-a-star actress. I guess he’s cuter than he looks!

Shrek – better looking than he thought, but not much

Babs an Ogre? Maybe … her outbreak to the heckler in NYC the other week confirms there’s at least a little ogre in her. However, if B.B. King were a bit younger (and greener), he could pass off the look pretty easily.

Tomorrow we’ll post the second half of our celebrity look-a-likes (click here to view them). Until then, let us know what you think!

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